


My Way To You

by MLLudwa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Injury, Character Death, City of Light (The 100), Clexa, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Torture, Major Character Undeath, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Pre-Apocalypse, Romance, Season 3 Finale, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Torture, Violence, War, alternate season 4, character suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:45:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 58,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7063093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLLudwa/pseuds/MLLudwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And what will happen to you?” Clarke asked, her voice quieting almost to a whisper.</p><p>Lexa smiled warmly. “Regardless of what happens, Clarke, I’ll be here in the end. Waiting for you.”</p><p>Clarke has destroyed the CoL as well as the Commander and A.L.I.E. programs. The world waits for an uncertain future as she begins experiencing haunting visions and hallucinations of Lexa. Those around her begin to grow distant and question her mental state. However when Raven discovers that the last remnants of the A.L.I.E. programming have rebooted, Clarke embarks on a journey to follow Lexa’s apparitions and save her people from the deadly fate that awaits them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

“Would you really condemn the human race to die in six months?”

“We’ll figure something out… we always do.” The words sounded harsh in Clarke’s dry rasp, her eyes lingering on the switch resting at her fingertips. Her heart pounded hard against her chest as Becca leaned in closer with a reassuring smile.

“Yes, Clarke, there’s still hope.”

“According to my calculations there is not.” A.L.I.E.’s monotone sent a shiver up Clarke’s spine. She wanted to believe that they could survive again; they always found a way to persevere  through the grit, blood, and tears since crashing to the ground. Everyone had suffered and was broken, both emotionally and physically, but they survived nonetheless. Surely they could survive again...

Becca’s expression grew desperate, her eyes darted to the lever, “Ten seconds-”

“-Let me ease their pain, we can save the human race- together,” A.L.I.E. tilted her chin and fixed her cold gaze on Clarke, whose trembling fingers now reached for the kill switch.

Clarke’s eyes flickered up to the screen depicting the compromised nuclear plants scattered around the globe, and her heart twisted like a vice at A.L.I.E.’s words echoing in her mind.

_“... by my calculations, in less than six months 96% of the Earth’s surface will be uninhabitable… even for those born in space. So you see, the City of Light is the only thing that can save you…”_

As desperate as Clarke was to hope in their survival against all odds, the reality of their fate began to sink in. No one could escape what was waiting for them - not the grounders or her own people. Even if they _could_ inhabit what little Earth remained after the fallout, how could they sustain themselves? All the choice they had left was either death by radiation poisoning or starvation. Both options would lead to a slow, debilitating, and agonizing end.

Clarke’s eyes caught a glimmer of light reflecting from her father’s watch. She jerked away from the kill switch and took an unsteady step back, raising her wrist to her chest to clutch her father’s watch in her other hand.  A satisfied grin curled the corner of A.L.I.E.’s lips as Becca shook her head in disbelief.

Becca stepped forward, eyes wide. “Clarke, only _you_ can operate the kill switch as the commander. What are you-”

“-You’re right, _I_ am the commander. You said yourself that A.L.I.E. 2.0 has merged with my mind, and _I_ am in control,” Clarke’s voice broke, tears welling in her eyes. Her fingers nervously caressed her father’s watch as she turned to A.L.I.E., whose grin steadily widened.

“Clarke, pull the lever-!” Becca shouted, but abruptly fell silent and dropped her eyes to the floor. Shaking her head, she raised her palm to her chest, “It’s too late..”

“The A.L.I.E. 2.0 code upload is now complete,” A.L.I.E. glanced around the room with dark, vacant eyes before fixing her gaze upon Clarke. “The kill switch has been disabled. You have chosen wisely, Clarke. The human race may now live on in my City of Light.”

“No, _our_ City of Light. Not yours,” Clarke said, her voice steadying. A.L.I.E.’s grin waned before cocking her head to the side. “You may have created the City of Light, but now that the merge with the flame is complete, the control protocols you’ve created in your programming are no longer exclusively yours. You absorbed the A.L.I.E. 2.0 code with the goal of eliminating your world’s kill switch, but I don’t want to destroy the City of Light. Not anymore.”

“Even if the uploaded code does offer the flame access to the City of Light’s programming terminal, my presence will prevent any such action,” A.L.I.E. droned, a slight smile slipping back onto her lips.

Clarke’s fingertips grazed along the metallic surface of her father’s watch as she listened to A.L.I.E. speak. Becca had said only moments after stepping through the door that it was through her own will that the watch manifested itself. Clarke had the power in this world, as the commander, to manifest what she needed most. And what she needed most now was…

A strange compulsion swept through Clarke, and she suddenly found herself reaching behind her back to feel the cold, wooden hilt of a knife tucked into the back of her trousers. Wrapping her fingers around the handle, she pulled out the weapon and held it before her. Her heart fluttered as warm tears stung at her eyes; she remembered the knife eloquently dancing between Lexa’s fingers during their first encounter. She had recognized the knife again when it skewered the wrist of her attacker in the forest, having been hurled by Lexa in her defense.

 _Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op_. Attack her and you attack me.

_I will always be with you._

Clarke smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks. She had only seen Lexa a few moments ago for the last time, but it already felt like an eternity.

“That’s just the thing,” Clarke nearly laughed, brushing the tears from her eyes, “You revoke our free will and torture us until we bend to yours. I can’t accept that, but I also refuse to accept either option offered to humanity by you.”

Clarke took a step forward, clasping Lexa’s knife firmly in her hand, “I don’t need to activate the kill switch or destroy the City of Light, I just need to eliminate _you._ ”

Rushing forward, Clarke threw her shoulder into A.L.I.E.’s body and slammed her against the nearby wall. She braced her arm across the woman’s shoulders and plunged Lexa’s knife deep into her chest, piercing her heart.

A.L.I.E. gasped and clawed at Clarke, who pressed her full weight against her thrashing body. The more the woman pushed back, the harder Clarke pressed against the knife, and with each passing moment felt fueled by the memories of those she’d lost because of the AI. A.L.I.E.’s arms grew slow and heavy, and her labored breathing gradually softened into a whisper as she slid down the wall onto the floor below.

“C-Clarke..?”

Clarke turned from A.L.I.E.’s lifeless form to see Becca standing behind her, black blood smeared across her open palms and streaked down her chest and belly.  
  
“Oh god, no!” Clarke ran towards Becca, caught her as she slipped to the floor. Trembling hands desperately searched for the wound in Becca’s chest and discovered a open laceration above her heart. “H-how?”

“T-The A.L.I.E.s have m-merged. Her fate is m-mine...” Becca’s voice was thick, blood bubbling up her throat, and her breathing grew shallow. “But I can s-still save you, Clarke…”

Hot tears streamed down Clarke’s flushed cheeks as she cradled Becca in her arms, “I thought I could find a way to save us, I’m sorry!”

Becca smiled weakly, blood slipping from her the corner of her lips, “You have. Our f-fight isn’t over, yet.”

Clarke’s sobs quieted as she looked down at Becca, who now felt strangely familiar and welcoming. Her face was the same as before, but her words touched Clarke in a way that felt both heartbreaking and soothing. Becca weakly reached her hand up behind Clarke’s neck and hovered her blackened fingers above the the chip implant.

“And p-please, Clarke,” Becca continued with a smile, “Never apologize to me.”  
  
"...Lexa?"

Becca brushed her fingertips along the skin above the implanted chip in Clarke’s neck. An abrupt, blinding agony cascaded through her body, and her own deafening screams followed her consciousness into the black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the incident in the City of Light, Clarke and the rest of Skikru are ordered to return to Arkadia until their fate is decided by the grounder coalition. 
> 
> A huge thank you for those who gave this story a shot and left kudos, ya'll are amazing. And a thank you to my beautiful wife for being the best editor this girl could ever hope to have.

Clarke welcomed the warmth soaking through her aching bones and slid further into the deep metal tub. Closing her eyes, she sunk lower until the water danced under her nostrils and her ears submerge. The only discernible sound beneath the water was that of her own heart drumming rhythmically in her chest.

_ Beautiful silence _ .

It was now almost a month since the mayhem in Polis, and Skikru had been abruptly ordered to return to Arkadia by Polis’ ad hoc representative, Indra. So many lives had been lost on all sides of the A.L.I.E. massacre that enacting the grounder’s motto of  _ jus drein jus daun _ was temporarily disregarded to focus instead on rebuilding what was left. However, to appease dissenting voices within the grounder coalition, Indra reinstated Lexa’s unpopular kill order surrounding Arkadia to restrict movement until the coalition could meet at a later date to discuss the situation further. The only Skikru permitted outside the perimeter were Octavia who elected to remain with her mentor in Polis, the new Chancellor-elect Kane, and, to Clarke’s surprise, herself. 

Clarke shifted her bare shoulders against the warm metal tub and sensed the ache in her limbs gradually melt away. Each day since returning to Arkadia had been spent toiling morning till night, rebuilding what had previously been their home. With the perimeter strictly enforced around them, there was little else they could do…

She soon lost herself and drifted away with the warmth of her bath, daydreaming of entering into Lexa’s bedroom the day her kill order had been made. Clarke remembers feeling frustrated, yet amused, at Lexa’s cavalier demeanor.  

_ “Someone tried to kill you today. How are you this calm?” _

_ Lexa opened her eyes and peered ahead. “You’re angry about the kill order.” She turned her head, lifted her green eyes to meet Clarke’s. _

_ “Yes.” _

_ Lexa shifted and stood from the floor before taking a step towards Clarke, not once letting her gaze waver. Clarke’s heart began to beat harder against her chest as Lexa approached, yet was struck at seeing tears begin to well in her eyes.  _

_ “Clarke..” Lexa’s voice was weak and trembled, “It’s dark.” _

_ “I don’t understand,” Clarke began, her brow furrowing, “Dark?” _

_ “Clarke-”  _

_ Lexa reached out and took Clarke’s arm-  _

The sensation jolted Clarke awake from her daydream like surge of electricity and she breathed in water. Her body jerked up from the bath and sloshed water over the rim and onto the cement floor below. Eyes darting around the empty room, she coughed and gasped for air. Her hand clutched her chest, heart slamming against her ribs like a hammer, before she forced herself to take deep, even breaths, to calm its wild rhythm.

Reaching her fingers up behind her neck, Clarke traced her fingertips along the scar left from the commander’s chip that, much to her mother’s protest, still rested dormant beneath her skin. Her failed attempt to subvert A.L.I.E.’s kill switch to keep the City of Light intact had failed, and instead shorted out both programs. The commander’s chip was inactive, and Clarke’s normal blood no longer triggered its deadly reaction. When Abby tried to remove the chip back in Polis, Clarke refused. This was the last connection Clarke had with Lexa, and she refused to part with it. But her memory of Lexa just then… that moment hadn’t unfolded that way. 

_ It’s just a daydream, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s only a daydream… _

Clarke jumped at the sudden sound of rapping at the bathroom door, and she shook away off the thoughts clouding her mind before reaching for a towel.

“I’m almost out, just give me a second.”

“Clarke,” Raven sounded excited and out of breath from the other side of the door, “It’s Octavia. She’s just arrived from Polis!”

 

\--------

 

Octavia was barely off her horse before being greeted by Clarke in an eager, warm embrace. 

“God, okay, I get it, Clarke,” Octavia groaned, a weak smile curling at the corners of her lips. She reached her arm around Clarke’s shoulders to offer a quick squeeze before stepping away to toss her reins over her horse’s neck. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Clarke said with a warm smile. “I have so many questions about how you are and what’s happened in Polis since we’ve left.”

“That’s why I’m here, to be Indra’s messenger for the upcoming coalition summit and to escort you back to Polis.”

“Long time no see, stranger.” Raven limped towards the two with a wide grin across her face. Bellamy trailed behind her, smiling sheepishly at his sister. His eyes appeared tired and distressed, yet his sister’s presence lightened his face in a way Clarke hadn’t seen since the dropship.

“Hey, O.”

Octavia’s face hardened at watching her brother approach, and she turned to stride away towards the compound without uttering another word. Bellamy reached out and made a move to follow, but was stopped by Raven’s hand grasping his shoulder.

“Hey, hold up there.” Raven pulled him back.

“Raven, she’s my sister-”

“- And she needs time. And some space,” Clarke stepped towards Bellamy and patted his arm reassuringly. “She’ll come around eventually.” 

Bellamy parted his lips to speak but instead faltered and fell silent. He offered a quick nod and turned his eyes back to Octavia, who at that moment stepped inside Arkadia’s walls. 

\----------------------

“An execution?” Kane stood over the conference table, knuckles resting hard against its surface, and lowered his head with a shake. “The coalition will accept us back to the negotiation table with Jaha’s execution?”

Octavia stood tall, arms crossed over her chest, at the opposing end and nodded. “That is the only condition. Roan of Azgeda is to ascend to the head of the alliance as the new steward, since the bloodline of the commander has ended.”

Clarke, who had been sitting at the table with Abby, Bellamy, and Raven, felt her heart twist in her chest. She swallowed hard and tried to loosen the tightening sensation growing in her throat and stinging in her eyes from emerging tears. 

_ Not now. This isn’t the time or place. _

“Roan and Indra have come to the agreement that none of us can afford to lose any more people. Although some in the coalition called for a greater punishment, Jaha’s death will suffice. After his death, Skikru will be welcomed back to the alliance to negotiate lifting the blockade,” Octavia continued, her voice steady and measured. Her time with Indra had made its mark, and Clarke smiled at seeing the strength that Octavia radiated in that moment. 

“Absolutely not,” Abby stated flatly, “Just like you said, we’ve already lost too many people. We can’t afford to lose more.”

“So what, he just rots away for the rest of his life in his jail cell?” Raven scoffed.

“It’s not right,” Abby retorted, shaking her head.

“Will the coalition not hear a counter-proposal?” Kane stood back and clasped his hands behind him.

“No,” Clarke stood from her seat and placed her palms onto the table, “Our people can’t survive the next five months without the help of the grounders. Indra and Roan are taking a risk by only offering this single request, and I say we take it.”

Kane and Abby exchanged exasperated glances but remained silent as Clarke turned to Octavia. “When is the soonest we can leave?”

“I’m to escort you, Chancellor Kane, and Jaha back to Polis as soon as possible.”

“Then it’s decided,” Clarke turned her gaze to Kane and offered a confident nod, “We leave for Polis in the morning.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leading up to the grounder alliance summit, Clarke's mental soundness is being called into question as she begins hearing voices and seeing visions of Lexa.

Clarke tightened the leather strap of her horse’s saddle and struggled to ignore the muted ache pulsing through her skull. She rubbed her palm over her tired eyes and leaned against the tall animal for support. Her night was spent tossing and turning with each disquieting dream of bloodied grounders hung on metal beams, horrific radiation-mutated beasts, and Lexa.. her dreams always led back to Lexa. The nightmares had first started after the incident at Mt. Weather, but lessened over time the longer she stayed in Polis. But ever since Clarke had been hurled back from the City of Light, her nightmares had returned with a vengeance. Every morning she would jolt awake in a cold sweat, and she wished she’d never dream again if it meant that the nightmares would cease.

Resting her head against the warm, soft coat of her horse, she allowed herself a fleeting moment of comfort before being drawn away by a faint, distant whisper. She lifted her eyes and trailed her gaze around the compound, searching for the voice.

_… Cla.. rke… Cl... arke.._  

“Clarke,” Abby placed her hand onto her daughter’s shoulder and felt her startle at her touch. “Is everything alright?”

Clarke shrugged the tension from her shoulders and smiled weakly at her mother, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

Abby’s eyebrows furrowed, “Still having nightmares?”

“No,” Clarke lied flatly, turning her eyes away from Abby to adjust the bag strapped to the back of her saddle, “Just anxious about today’s ride is all.”

Ever since returning to Arkadia, Abby and the others had watched Clarke endure worsening nightmares and edginess. What made it worse was that there was an air of doubt surrounding Clarke’s admission to the radiation threat posed by A.L.I.E. There was no way to prove the substantiality of her claim, and most brushed off the threat as a manipulation ploy in an act of desperation. With all of these circumstances, along with what her mother described as an ‘unhealthy attachment’ to a dead woman, many in Arkadia began to question Clarke’s mental soundness. After all, who _wouldn’t_ go a little crazy after what she’d been through? So Clarke kept her nightmares to herself and resigned to remain silent until having the opportunity to meet with the grounder coalition once again. If Arkadia wouldn’t listen to her, perhaps Indra and the alliance would.

“I’m worried about you returning to Polis.”

“Don’t be. Besides, I’m sure you already asked Kane to keep an eye on me?” Clarke turned to Abby and glanced at Kane as he made the final adjustments to his horse’s saddle a few yards away. He cleared his throat and shot a quick, knowing look at Abby.

“So this is it, then.”

Clarke turned and watched Jaha, his wrists bound behind his back, be led by two guards towards them. Octavia followed behind them and took a moment to peer back at Bellamy, who stood watching from a distance in the arc’s open doorway.

“Unfortunately there’s no other way to lift the blockade,” Kane responded, a hint of regret lingering in his voice. Jaha parted his lips to speak but was interrupted by Octavia brushing past them towards her horse.

“We gotta go if we’re going to make it by sundown,” Octavia stated hurriedly as she grasped at her horse’s reins. She clutched onto the horn of the saddle and swung herself effortlessly onto the horse’s back before turning the animal towards the compound gate.

Abby reached out to Clarke and wrapped her in a warm embrace, “Take care of yourself and be safe.”

“I will, mom.” Clarke pulled away from Abby and offered a hint of a smile before turning to mount her horse. As she grabbed onto the reins to direct the animal towards Octavia, she watched Abby approach Kane to offer him a departing kiss and embrace. Clarke remembered the way that her father would hold and kiss her mother while they were still on the arc. But both Abby and Clarke had lost him in the end. Lincoln, Finn, Wells… they had all been lost.  And Lexa...

As Clarke rode towards the opening gate of the compound, a moment of dread twisted at her heart. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to return to Polis, to enter into the space that she and Lexa had shared together. But there was no turning back at this point; the grounder coalition was waiting on them, and she would be back in Polis by nightfall.

\--------------------------------

The ride to Polis was proving to be far more enjoyable than Clarke had predicted. It had been herself and Octavia leading, with Kane riding behind them and Jaha walking in the rear, a rope tied around his waist and hooked onto Kane’s saddle. It had been quiet, and the majority of the ride passed in silence.

The swaying, rhythmic steps of her horse had a calming affect on Clarke, and she would at times close her eyes and allow herself to take in the nature around her: the sounds of the birds whistling and chirping in the trees, the crunching of leaves beneath their horse’s hooves, and the calm breeze rustling through the branches overhead soothed her.

Her mind drifted away to when she and Lexa rode together, side by side, back to Arkadia following the death of Queen Nia of Azgeda. Clarke sensed a nudge press against her stirruped left foot, and when she turned her gaze to Lexa she saw her looking back into her eyes, a warm smile across her lips. She remembered how strikingly green Lexa’s eyes looked against the red cloak draped over her dark hair. The moment itself was so brief and had passed by in a matter of seconds, but the minute details of the memory now warmed Clarke’s chest and left her heart skipping a beat.

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” Clarke opened her eyes to see Octavia casually riding beside her. “You were smiling, and I haven’t seen you smile in a while.”

The warmth in her chest gradually faded as reality sunk back in, “It’s hard not to think about her.”

“It must be difficult for you to return to Polis.”

“It is. Was it difficult for you to return to Arkadia?”

Octavia’s jaw grew taut as her eyes hardened, “Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke dropped her gaze to her horse’s mane. Octavia and Lincoln had spent most of their time together in Arkadia, and Octavia had watched him be murdered by Pike on the same ground that she had just returned to the day before. Clarke could understand why Octavia had been in such a hurry to leave that morning.

“Don’t be sorry,” Octavia scoffed, “If my brother and the others accepted the alliance that you and Lexa worked out in the first place, Lincoln would still be alive today. She would be too.”

Clarke remembered back to when they departed Arkadia - Bellamy remained back in the distance and hadn’t offered a goodbye to her or the others. From how their initial greeting had gone the day before, she could only assume that Bellamy either attempted to reach out to Octavia and failed or resigned to give her the space she needed. But Clarke knew that she was right; had Arkadia accepted Skikru’s induction into the grounder alliance, Lincoln, Lexa, and so many others would still be alive.  

As they continued to ride together in silence, the ache radiating in Clarke’s head began to build at the base of her neck. She closed her eyes, lifted up her arm, and slid her fingers across the scar on her neck. Breathing steadily through each painful surge, her heart faltered at the pulsing sensation of the chip beneath her skin. Octavia glanced over, concerned.

“Everything alright?”

Clarke’s fingertips traced along the scar tissue on her neck and sensed a wave of dizziness, “Yeah, I’m alright…” she turned her eyes towards the woodline beside to road and felt her heart stop-

Lexa was standing beside a tree in the nearby woodline dressed in the commander’s armor and warpaint, the red cloak draped over her hair and her emerald eyes reaching longingly for Clarke’s. Clarke parted her lips to cry out, but was silenced when Lexa turned and disappeared into the darkness of the forest.

“Wait!” Clarke shifted her body and slid off her horse. Upon landing on her feet, she darted after Lexa into the tree line, leaving Octavia and Kane on the road calling after her. The deeper she sprinted into the forest after Lexa’s shadow, the more frantic her pulse became. The deafening beat of her heart against her chest drummed in her ears and silenced the shouting behind her.

“Lexa!” She screamed, pausing momentarily to lean against a tree to catch her breath. She rested her palms against her knees and darted her eyes around the forest and found herself standing alone amongst the trees.

“Clarke, what the hell?!” Octavia cried out as she bounded towards her through the obstacle of fallen tree trunks and branches, her sword clutched tight in her hand.

“I-I saw her- “ Clarke panted, continuing to dart her eyes around the surrounding forest. “I saw Lexa, she-”

“- isn’t here,” Octavia said through the heaviness of her breath.

“No, I saw her. She was right here!”

“Clarke,” Octavia reached out and wrapped her fingers around Clarke’s arm, drawing her back from her panicked state, “Lexa isn’t here... I’m sorry.”

Clarke’s heart grew heavy, and when she turned to lock eyes with Octavia she saw the pity behind her frustration. With a curt nod, Clarke suppressed the warm tears filling her eyes and turned back towards the road. Octavia reached her arm around her shoulder and offered a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you,” Octavia’s voice was kind, and Clarke could detect her choking back tears of her own. “It’s only a bit further until we reach Polis, we’ll be there soon.”

Exiting the woodline, Clarke glanced at Kane and noticed the concern etched across his face. He said nothing and only offered her an acknowledging nod before she mounted her horse once again. The remainder of the ride was occupied with a tense silence, but Clarke preferred the silence over discussing what had just happened. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the occasional aching pulse radiating from the base of her neck.

  
_Maybe everyone back in Arkadia are righ_ t, she thought, _Maybe I am going crazy._


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke rested her palms against the stone balcony and shifted her weight anxiously from one foot to the other. The final hours of the ride to Polis had been tense, and approaching the city gates after all that happened only a few weeks earlier sent her pulse rushing. They had been welcomed by an armed guard at the gates and escorted directly to the tower, which maintained its burning flame at the highest floor. And as Clarke now peered over the ledge of her balcony, she watched as the townspeople, although scarcer now, carrying on with their lives. After all that had occurred only weeks prior, Polis appeared to be operating normally once again. However despite all outward appearances, something still felt amiss.  

She raised her fingers and traced the scar on the back of her neck, the haunting vision of Lexa still felt fresh and lingering in her mind. The ache radiating from the chip had eased with some time, but the disquiet resting on her heart hadn’t. When confronted by her mother after the City of Light, Clarke refused to remove the chip because it had deactivated after her confrontation with A.L.I.E. and it remained the only tie she had left with Lexa. Weeks had passed without any pain or sign of life from the chip, so why the sudden change? Why was she now hearing whispers and seeing the dead in her waking hours?

“I heard you requested to spend the evening at an inn instead of the tower,” Indra’s voice cut through the silence as she stepped onto the balcony, a bag slung over her shoulder.

Clarke glanced over her shoulder and watched as Indra approached her. “Yes, I’m staying in town tonight. Being here again still feels a little too… _recent_.”

“King Roan was going to extend the invitation for you to stay in your old room before I informed him that it was where Heda had-“

“-Yes, I know,” Clarke was quick to cut Indra off and struggled to stretch a smile across her lips, “But I do appreciate the gesture nonetheless. Our people are just appreciative that Polis has extended the invitation at all.”

Indra shook her head and gazed down at the townspeople below, her dark eyes appeared troubled and exhausted, “Many in the council did not agree. However all of us have already lost so many, we cannot afford to exclude Skaikru any longer. Even the most stubborn of us could see that, particularly during these trying times.”

Indra’s words sounded heavy and burdened. Clarke glanced at Indra, her brow furrowed, “Indra, has something happened since we’ve returned to Arkadia?”   

“That is for the council to discuss tomorrow in the presence of Chancellor Kane, Wanheda,” Indra’s disposition grew increasingly rigid and cold.

Clarke shuddered at the title and lifted her eyes to the sky, containing the scoff rising from her chest, “Of course.”

“There is one more thing-,” Indra hesitated before reaching deep inside the bag slung over her shoulder, “The Commander’s bloodline has ended. But you, Clarke Kom Skaikru, continue to carry the Flame.” She withdrew a folded crimson cloak from the inside the bag and held it gingerly in her hands.

Clarke’s eyes brimmed with tears upon recognizing Lexa’s cloak, “No, Indra I can’t.”

“The Commander would have wanted it this way,” Indra’s voice was hard as she extended the cloak to her.

Clarke’s eyes dropped to the crimson cloak as she reached out and took it cautiously into her hands. She could sense Indra’s hesitation with handing the cloak to her and felt a tinge of guilt as she slipped it away from her fingers.

“Thank you, Indra.”

“Do not thank me. Like I said, it is what the Commander would have wanted,” Indra stepped away and turned to leave the balcony, “You are expected at the arena in an hour to escort the prisoner. Don’t be late.”

Indra disappeared into the tower and left Clarke alone on the balcony to trace her fingertips along the smooth fabric of Lexa’s cloak. The tears that had welled in her eyes gradually sunk away as she felt her heart harden inside her chest.

_If I am to be known as Wanheda_ , she thought, her grip on the cloak tightening, _then I will be Wanheda._

 ----

Kane shifted uncomfortably in his seat beside Indra on the arena stage, his eyes glancing about to the crowd congregating around them. The Skaikru logo was hung above his chair, and it appeared to draw the ire of some in the crowd who spat insults in his direction. A single pole was affixed at the center of the empty arena, and the sound of beating drums and flutes drifted through the air over the clamor of the crowd.

“I don’t like this.”

“Of course you don’t,” Indra responded flatly. Octavia stood behind her as her Second, vigilantly keeping her guard. “But this is not up to you.”

Roan rose from his chair at the center of the stage, a dark blue cloak draped over his left shoulder, and outstretched his hands to quiet the crowd. As a hush fell over the mass, he lowered his hands to his side.

“ _Justice for those lost will be met today_!” He shouted in trigedasleng, clasping his hands behind his back. The other councilmembers seated along the stage appeared disinterested and irritable as he spoke. “ _With the death of one, we usher forth prosperity for all! Bring forth the accused!”_

Booing and heckling erupted from the crowd, but quickly diminished to hushed gasps and whispers as two figures entered into the open arena. Clarke, with the commander’s crimson cloak draped around her shoulders, guided the bound and gagged Jaha towards the pole at the center of the arena. Her face was hardened and stern as she tied him to the pole.

Kane shot a worried glance at Indra, whose face contorted in a muted fury.

“It was for her to carry with her, not to _wear_ ,” She growled.

Clarke, having fastened Jaha to the post, turned and trailed her gaze across the sea of eyes gaping at her. This had been the same arena that Lexa had defeated Roan in the challenge initiated by his mother, and now she stood where Lexa had stood, wearing her cloak like a suit of armor. She lifted her eyes to meet with Roan’s, who appeared stunned at the brashness of her entrance.

“Ai laik Wanheda!” Clarke bellowed, her voice carrying over the sea of hushed whispers. “ _And I bring forth the accused on behalf of Skaikru!_ _May his death usher an era of peace for our people!”_

Roan bore his dark eyes into Clarke’s before offering a simple nod. With this simple gesture, the councilmen stood from their chairs and stepped down into the arena, extracting knives from their belts. Indra strode across the stage with the other leaders and motioned for Kane to remain seated.

Clarke turned and lifted Jaha’s blindfold before removing the gag from his dry, cracked lips. Jaha’s eyes remained affixed to the ground at his feet as he shook his head.

“I’m sorry that it’s had to come to this,” his voice was weak and tired as he spoke.

“My father, Wells, Lincoln… Lexa,” Clarke’s voice trembled in her throat as the councilmen approached them, “So many are needlessly dead because of you and your actions. We’re left to live out the rest of our lives without the ones that we love, and you’re the reason. May we _never_ meet again.”  

As the first councilman stepped forward with his knife extended, Clarke turned away and strode back towards the stage. She felt the eyes of the crowd follow her steps as she approached the stage, and fell deaf to the screams now coming from the bound man behind her. She knew in her heart that his suffering would bring her no solace. That gaping hole left aching in her heart wouldn’t heal after his death, and it wouldn’t bring Lexa back to her. His death wouldn’t bring Lincoln back to Octavia, whose fiery gaze never broke from the scene unfolding at the center of the arena. But it was an unfortunate step that needed to be taken for their people to move forward, and Clarke’s heart twisted in her chest at remembering Lexa’s failed legacy of peace.

_Blood must not have blood._

_I’m sorry, Lexa._

“What the hell are you doing?” Kane snapped as Clarke stepped behind him, taking her spot behind Skaikru’s official leader. “Wearing Lexa’s cloak? Do you intend to get us killed?”

“They see me as Wanheda, the Commander of Death and a close ally of their late Heda,” Clarke stated firmly, “They needed to see Skaikru making a bold statement in distancing ourselves from Jaha’s crimes- the people need to see us as aligned with their Heda and new Steward.”

Jaha’s piercing screams could be heard over the now roaring crowds as each council leader took their turn in delivering a deep gash on his body. Each affliction delivered at the hand of the council represented the pain and suffering experienced by their people, and each ensured their people’s grief was expressed across Jaha’s body.

\--- 

When Clarke stepped into her modest room at the town’s inn that night, she fell hard onto the bed and sunk heavily against the lumpy mattress. She breathed in the old musk from the pillow beneath her head and glanced up through the window above her. In the distance she saw the glow of the tower’s flame burning brightly through the night’s darkness and felt her heart ache. Closing her eyes, she replayed Jaha’s final moment in the arena before Roan slid his sword through his chest after an hour of torture, his screams muted beneath the waves of cheers from the crowd.

Clarke clutched at Lexa’s cloak and pulled it tighter around her shoulders, desperately imagining that Lexa’s cloak was instead her welcoming arms. Tomorrow would be the council summit, where the fate of her people would be decided. But all Clarke could now think of was the fabric now grazing her cheek had been worn only weeks ago by the love of her life, and for a brief moment they had found peace.

As Clarke’s eyes grew heavier, she sensed the scar on the back of her neck grow warm and what felt to be arms embracing her and keeping her safe as she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

“All rise for King Roan, Steward of the Alliance!” a guard bellowed as the large doors swung open behind him. Clarke, who had been impatiently shifting her weight from one foot to the other, lifted her gaze from the floor and watched as Roan strode confidently towards the empty throne. His dark blue cloak, much like the one Lexa had worn, billowed in the breeze of the open windows as he turned and seated himself before acknowledging the standing councilmembers.

“We have urgent matters to attend to, please be seated and let us begin,” Roan said, an exasperated tinge lancing his words. Kane took his seat and glanced back to Clarke, who stood beside Octavia along with the other councilmen’s seconds. He offered a reassuring nod and turned to redirect his attention to Roan.

“Our foremost order of business is to retract the blockade imposed on the sky people,” Roan continued. An unease thickened the air as he spoke, and a number of councilmen shot dirty glances towards Kane. “Blood has been answered with blood, and it is my intention to welcome Skaikru into our coalition for the good of the alliance.”

“ _What good can come from allowing Skaikru into our alliance?”_ A councilman spat in their native tongue. Kane remained composed and kept his eyes forward, not acknowledging the sideways glances and criticisms.

“ _Skaikru has done nothing but commit crimes against our people since their arrival on our lands_!” another snapped.

“Silence!” Roan barked, rising to his feet.

A sharp sting suddenly pulsed down Clarke’s neck and coursed down her spine. Hissing through her teeth, she reached up and clasped the back of her neck and buckled forward.

“Clarke, what the hell? Are you okay?” Octavia whispered, sliding her hand onto Clarke’s shoulder.

“I-I’m fine,” Clarke replied before taking calm, steadied breaths to ease the pain. However her pulse began to race through the wave of panic now swelling in her chest. How much more of this could she endure? Why had the flame suddenly shown signs of life after shorting out and having its programming fried? There was nothing she could do about the flame now anyway, it could wait until she was back in Arkadia. 

“Bring forth the Ingranrona,” Roan commanded, retaking his seat on the throne.

Four guards entered the throne room a moment later, each clutching tight onto the handles of a stretcher that carried a shrouded body. Upon placing the stretcher on the floor, the black shroud was pulled away to reveal a deceased young man of no older than 17. His pallid flesh was pocked with patches of crimson red, peeled skin, and exposed blisters. Clarke felt an unsettling dread crawl up her spine like a chill at seeing this young man and forgot the pain surging in her neck: this young man had died from radiation poisoning.

Hushed whispers and murmurs began to fill the room as an old man dressed in buffalo skins stepped forward, “This boy is of my people- the Ingranrona, the Plains Riders,” his voice was broken with remorse and quieted the curious men surrounding him.  “A little over a week ago, a strange illness crept into our lands and struck our people. This boy, my grandson, was one of the first to die, and with each passing day more lives are lost. Our medicine cannot fight the disease...”

“Skaikru has committed enough crimes against this alliance to warrant their annihilation, that cannot be argued,” Roan began, his gaze darting quickly to Kane, “However those responsible for the most heinous crimes have been called to justice, and Skaikru remains the most advanced medically to face this unknown affliction plaguing our people. When battling against the Mountain Men, Skaikru proved their worth by reverting reapers back to men. Myself and others on this council are confident they can provide invaluable assistance once again.”

Kane rose from his seat and placed his hand over his heart, his eyes sincere, “King Roan, should the blockade be revoked and our people offered the privilege to enter into your alliance, my people will do everything within our power to provide assistance against this illness. Skaikru wishes to earn their place among your coalition and see this sickness eradicated.”

Clarke turned her attention to Indra, who now turned to meet her eyes. This was the emergency that had opened the door for Skaikru’s invitation to the council and what Indra had refused to share with her the day before. Clarke held her gaze as the ache began to radiate once again in the base of her neck, and the disquiet she now felt creeping along her skin put her on edge. Clarke had been right about A.L.I.E.’s warning, the clouds of radiation were approaching and their time was limited.

\-------

The remainder of the summit lasted only a matter of hours, and the vote to revoke the blockade around Arkadia was strained, yet eventually favored Skaikru’s induction into the alliance. Due to the urgency for medical care, the Skaikru envoy was ordered by King Roan to return to their encampment immediately to begin preparations for medical assistance. They were to prepare to depart again to assist the Plains Riders in a matter of days, and time could not be wasted. Clarke had anticipated returning home shortly after the summit had concluded, however she hadn’t anticipated being rushed out of the Polis gates so rapidly.

Despite Octavia’s objections, she had been commanded by Indra to accompany Clarke and Kane back to Arkadia as Polis’ representative to assist in the relief preparations. And as she rode next to Clarke now, a darkness hung heavily over her like a storm cloud. Any attempt made by Clarke to engage her in conversation was met with a cold scowl and deafening silence.

Kane trotted up on his horse beside Clarke, who had draped Lexa’s cloak over her shoulders and hair, and cleared his throat. “Hey, I-uh… I wanted to apologize.”

Clarke’s eyes remained fixed ahead as she furrowed her brow, “For?”

“For not believing you before in Arkadia about A.L.I.E.’s prediction. It was hard to ignore that kid’s symptoms back at the summit, it was definitely radiation poisoning. You’d warned us about the radiation after A.L.I.E. but-“

“-But you didn’t listen,” Clarke interrupted, her words pointed and hard.

Kane swallowed hard and nodded, “Yeah, we didn’t listen. But what’s most important is how we react from this point on. We have the support of the grounder alliance, we have freedom of movement now…” Kane’s face hardened under his furrowed brow, “I think we can find a way together to get through this.”

Clarke remembered the faces of the mountain men after she pulled the lever to release the deadly radiation through the vents of their stronghold. Their bodies couldn’t handle the elevated radiation levels that were harmless on both her people and the grounders. However the grounders, who had adapted to heightened radiation levels, were now succumbing to the deadly effects of A.L.I.E.’s failing nuclear plants. Even though Skaikru could sustain a high level of radiation exposure due to their upbringing in space, how much could they endure before they shared the same fate as that young boy on the stretcher?

After hours of riding through the winding roads of the forest, they emerged from the trees into an open field and caught sight of Arkadia ahead. Now that they were almost home, they would finally begin to prepare for the future Clarke had been warning them about for weeks. Whether they would be successful in fighting the expansion of radiation, she wasn’t sure, but it was better than sitting around and waiting to succumb to it.

Approaching the slowly opening Arkadia gate, Clarke seized at the shooting agony now ripping through her body. Screaming, she clutched onto her neck and collapsed forward over her horse’s neck.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” Octavia pulled back on her horse’s reins and reached out for Clarke, who now turned her gaze towards the tree line.

Through the tearing, hot surge of pain in her neck, Clarke faltered at seeing Lexa seated atop her horse beneath the canopy of the distant trees. Her crimson cloak hung from her armor and billowed against the side of her horse as she lifted her arm in the air to signal Clarke’s attention.  
  
_Clarke! Clarke!_ Lexa’s voice reverberated in Clarke’s mind as though she had been standing beside her, screaming into her ears. Sitting back up into her saddle, Clarke watched as Lexa pulled on the reins and turned her horse to ride into the shadows of the forest, the last traces of her red cloak disappearing behind her.

_It’s another illusion,_ Clarke thought, her body beginning to tremble from the shock of pain coursing through her bones. _She isn’t real. She’s dead._

However before the thoughts could translate to her limbs, she found herself spinning her horse and kicking it forward into a gallop, riding hard across the grassy meadow. The hooves hammering against the dirt below her and the wind in her ears was deafening behind the veil of throbbing pain spreading through her body. She couldn’t stop herself now even if she tried.  


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter! I was so impatient getting through this chapter because it answers so many questions! My wife is asleep and bogged down with work so she couldn't edit like she normally does, but I hope you enjoy it either way regardless of the occasional grammatical or spelling error! Thank you for all the amazing comments and support I've received so far, you guys are incredible :)

Clarke broke through the brush in a gallop, riding hard through the low hanging canopy of branches of the tree line. The drumming of her horses’ hooves now turned to cracking and breaking branches under their weight. A twig snapped against Clarke’s cheek as she hurtled forward through the dense maze of tree trunks and fallen logs.

“Lexa!” Clarke’s voice carried through the thickness of the forest and sounded distorted in her own ears. She braced against the piercing ache shooting down her back from the heartbeat-like pulsating beneath her skin. Eyes scanning the green wood line around her, she detected a flash of red disappear behind a set of trees and compelled her winded horse forward through the dense forest.

_She isn’t real, Clarke. You’re losing your mind._ _The flame is malfunctioning and will kill you- just turn around and go back to the Arc._

In spite of her better judgment, Clarke charged forward, weaving between the myriad of tree trunks and bushes. She rode into a clearing and felt her heart sink at seeing the dropship in the distance nestled into the earth.  Observing the drop ship, where everything had begun nearly a year ago, felt almost bittersweet when she laid eyes on it now.

She reined her horse back to a halt and watched as Lexa emerged from behind the dropship; their eyes locked and Clarke’s heart twisted at seeing the sadness across her face. The agony pulsated from the embedded chip once again at seeing her, but Clarke couldn’t bring herself to look away. Lexa trailed her fingers along the steel exterior of the ship, never breaking her gaze into Clarke’s eyes, before turning to stride up the ramp and disappear into the ship.

“Wait!” Clarke swung herself off the exhausted horse and dashed forward. Sprinting up the ramp, Clarke brushed away the loose cloth serving as a door and darted her eyes through the darkness of the ship. Her gaze trailed up the ladder in the center of the hull and was alarmed to see a light radiating from the top floor.

“Lexa, wait!” climbing the ladder, Clarke hoisted herself up through the open hatch and sensed the most severe agony she’d ever experienced; the searing anguish tore through her like a bolt of hot lightning and her lungs faltered when she strained to breathe. Collapsing onto the floor, Clarke’s joints locked in place and her body began to seize uncontrollably.

“Clarke!” A familiar voice cried out to her but was muted and distant. Through the violent seizing and fading eyesight, Clarke could distinguish Raven hurriedly limping towards her and falling to her side. Looking past Raven, she saw Lexa standing beside a small, solid object positioned beside a set of computer screens. Her lips parted and she spoke, but no sound could be heard.

As the blackness consumed Clarke’s mind and her eyesight faded, she was barely able to catch the final words mouthed by Lexa before falling away into unconsciousness.

_Find me._

_\-----_

Clarke’s eyes felt sore and heavy when she awoke, and before lifting her eyelids already sensed to dull ache spreading up through the back of her skull. She knew she’d been drugged by how dense her limbs felt when she shifted uncomfortably against the bed below her.

“Go get Abby, she’s awake.”

Opening her eyes, Clarke’s vision blurred against the harsh white lights above her. “Where am I?”

“Back in the Arc,” Bellamy replied, resting his palms against the metal frame at the bottom of the bed. “You’re lucky Raven was there or that chip would’ve killed you.”

“What happened?” Clarke slipped her hand behind her neck and shuddered at the rough bandage taped to her skin.

“Raven said you came barging into the dropship shouting for Lexa before collapsing into a seizure. Raven had to remove it before it killed you,” Bellamy walked around the bed and took a seat in an empty chair. “We’re worried about you, Clarke.”

“Where’s the flame?” Clarke asked, her voice growing anxious.

Bellamy shook his head at her dismissiveness, “Clarke-”

“- Where is it, Bellamy?” Clarke sat up from the pillow and braced against the flood of dizziness that rushed into her brain. Bellamy placed his hand gently on her shoulder and guided her back to the pillow.

“It’s safe with Raven. To be honest I’m more concerned about you than that chip.”

“Clarke, thank god you’re alright,” Abby bustled through the open door and rushed to her daughter’s side. She glided her hand over Clarke’s forehead and smiled weakly. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m alright, mom,” Clarke responded, her voice straining to be kind through the anxiety she currently felt. As she spoke, Raven stepped through the doorway and forced a smile across her face as though the act itself was painful.

“Glad to see you’re awake. You’ve been out for almost a full day,” Raven said, stepping further into the room.

“Clarke, I knew, I just _knew_ that keeping that chip in your neck was a bad idea from the start,” Abby began, shaking her head worriedly, “Thank goodness Raven was there to-“

“- Mom,” Clarke closed her eyes and raised her hand to silence her mother. The scar beneath the fresh bandage throbbed through her skull and pulsated behind her eyes, and the louder the voices in the room, the stronger the ache, “I’m fine now, really. Can I just have a moment with Raven now, please?”

Bellamy and Abby exchanged looks before nodding. Abby gave Clarke’s hand a final squeeze before turning to depart with Bellamy, “I’ll be back in a little bit with some food. Be sure to get some rest.”

“I will, thanks mom,” Clarke forced a smile through the ache and watched the two depart. Clarke shifted her gaze to Raven, whose faltering smile failed to hide the concern behind her dark eyes.

“We need to talk,” she said, taking Bellamy’s seat.

“Can I see it?” Clarke asked, raising from her pillow to sit upright in the bed. Raven reached into her pocket before retracting the small blue chip between her fingers; she outstretched her hand and placed the chip delicately in Clarke’s open palm.

“Don’t worry, she’s safe,” Raven said solemnly.

“ _She_? You mean Lexa?” Clarke asked, holding the chip delicately in her hands.

Raven nodded and took a deep breath, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, but you’ve been away in Polis-“she hesitated and rubbed her open palms together anxiously, “Clarke, the A.L.I.E. power source has rebooted itself.”

Clarke froze and stared into Raven’s eyes, “How is that possible? The system was completely destroyed after the City of Light incident. I killed both AI’s…”

Raven shrugged and dropped her eyes to the floor, “To be completely honest, I haven’t the got a damn clue. After you returned from Polis a few weeks ago, A.L.I.E.’s power pack was all but fried. But a few days ago, a day or two before you left for Polis, the small power light started blinking again…” Raven’s voice quieted to a whisper and she craned her neck to peer into the hall to ensure there were no eavesdroppers. “I knew that if anybody found out it, they’d probably take the damn thing out back and bludgeon it with a hammer until it was nothing but scrap metal. So I sneaked it away to the dropship for monitoring.”

Clarke’s mind was now racing faster than she could manage and she steadied herself against her swelling faintness. The events of the past week came flooding back to her; the voices, the pain radiating from the chip, the visions of Lexa…

“A.L.I.E.’s system resurrected itself. So even though the flame was technically deactivated…” Clarke began.

“… It rebooted along with the A.L.I.E. system. My guess is that when you were in the City of Light, the two AI software merged entirely, linking the flame to A.L.I.E.’s power source,” Raven explained.

“If that’s the case, why didn’t it kill me? I should’ve died as soon as it reactivated.”

Raven’s growing excitement at the discussion began to show on her face, and a subdued grin turned at the corner of her lips, “That’s just it, though. The system was operating at such a low frequency, at such restrained power, that when the chip _did_ activate, it wasn’t enough to kill you. Think of it as a crack in the roof, only letting in a few drops at a time. After I was forced to remove the chip from your head, the power source immediately returned to full operational power, which would’ve killed you instantly. It’s almost as if it knew to wait.”

Clarke remembered back to her earlier visions of Lexa. Her altered memory of Lexa commenting on the darkness, hearing Lexa call her name, seeing Lexa disappear into the forest to lead her away…

“Oh my god-“Clarke raised her fingers to cover her lips, tears welling in her eyes, “- She’s been trying to communicate with me, to lead me to the dropship, to A.L.I.E.’s power source, to her...”

“It’s possible,” Raven reached out and took Clarke’s hand gingerly into her own, “but if Lexa _is_ still alive, so might A.L.I.E. and I know that any further research we put into this will not be viewed too favorably by your Mother or Kane. Or Bellamy. Or… mostly everybody.”

Clarke shook her head and wiped a tear from her eye, “Well the way I see it the only thing waiting for us at this moment is death by irradiation. And I’d prefer to not just wait around to die.”

“Neither would I,” Raven rolled her eyes and rose to her feet, “So looking at where we are now, we have no way to return to the ‘City of Light’, or whatever the hell it is in this state, and will most likely receive a ton of opposition.”

Clarke paused momentarily and closed her fingers around the blue flame chip resting on her palm, “First thing’s first, we need to find our way back into that A.L.I.E. program,” Clarke looked up at Raven and smiled, “And I think I know who to ask.”


	7. Chapter 7

Abby insisted that Clarke remain bedridden for at least the next six hours while she, Kane, and Octavia prepared the Ingranrona medical convoy. Skaikru was still expected to depart within the next day with their load of advanced medical supplies and medicine, most of which they had scavenged from the mountain stronghold before it was destroyed by Azgeda. Clarke’s attendance on the convoy was still being considered in light of her recent medical emergency, although she desperately hoped that she would be left behind this time around.

Once Clarke’s six hours of obligatory rest had finally expired, she impatiently hoisted herself from the mattress and hurriedly slipping on her boots when Raven strolled through the infirmary doorway. A canvas bag hung heavy over her shoulder and as she stepped closer to Clarke, her face winced at the weight against her leg.

“Is that it?” Clarke asked, tucking her laces into her boot.

“Yeah, yeah…” Raven swung the bag onto the hospital bed and unzipped the top, “Or what’s left of it.” Peeking inside the canvas, Clarke could see the remnants of A.L.I.E.’s power pack; it had been all but destroyed when Pike bludgeoned it in a botched attempt to destroy the AI. Everyone assumed that it had been destroyed beyond repair, yet here it was.

“How is it even working? It looks like a heap of wires and plastic…” Clarke peered deeper inside the bag and could see a bright green light flickering beneath the coils of twisted wire.  _ Lexa is in there. Lexa is in there somewhere and I'm going to find her. _

Raven shrugged and suppressed a growing smile, “No idea, but it’s pretty impressive engineering to take a beating like it did and still find a way to reboot.”

“Well let’s just hope the red dress maniac isn’t in there, too,” Clarke zipped the canvas closed, “and you’re positive that the chip maker was destroyed?”

“Yeah, Monty used it for spare parts. I was lucky enough to get this thing out in time.”

Clarke slung the bag’s strap over her shoulder and hoisted it from the mattress. The ache in her neck pulsated as she adjusted the bag against her hip, but she brushed it aside and smiled at Raven, “You did good, Raven. You always do.”

Raven smiled, “What can I say? I am  _ rather _ impressive, if I must say so.” The two women turned to exit the infirmary, and as they did so Raven turned to Clarke, “Do you think he’ll agree to this?”

“Probably not,” Clarke groaned as the two departed down the empty hallway.

\-- 

Murphy brushed the sweat from his brow, leaving behind a smear of dirt and mud from his soiled gloves. Propping his weight against the tall shovel, he glared at the gaping hole in the earth before him and sneered.

“I hate digging.”

“Well it’s better than being cooped up inside that metal husk all day,” Emori approached him, pushing an empty wheelbarrow. She rested the prongs of the barrow onto the ground and stepped around towards the very dirty, sweaty man beside her. “And you look so handsome covered in dirt.”

Murphy scoffed and rolled his eyes, “We are literally just moving the dirt from _one_ spot to _another_ spot. We’re dirt-movers.”

“It could be worse,” Emori said with a smile. Reaching up behind Murphy, she planted a palm full of damp earth on top of Murphy’s head and laughed.

Murphy’s sneer shifted to a confident grin, and he accepted the dirt cascading down his face and shoulders, “Oh okay. I’m going to get you later for that, you just wait.”

“Don’t leave me waiting too long,” Emori laughed, swiping the remnants of dirt from her hand onto her pant leg.  Glancing up, she caught sight of Clarke and Raven approaching from across the field. “Oh, looks like we have some visitors.”

Murphy turned and watched as the two advanced closer, and when Clarke parted her lips to speak, Murphy was quick to speak first.

“No.”

“- Murphy, you don’t even know what-“

“I said no, Clarke. I recognize that look on your face when you have an idea, and I’m not interested,” Murphy turned back to the mound of earth he had just shoveled out and thrust the spade deep into the dirt. Raven stepped forward as he lifted and tossed heaps into the empty wheelbarrow.

“So you’re content being a ditch digger? You don’t wanna get out of here?”

Murphy scoffed and tossed another mound into the wheelbarrow, “On the contrary, I hate it here. I hate this job. And I hate most of the people here.” He looked over his shoulder and brushed away a layer of earthy dust from his jacket. “But we weren’t exactly given a choice, were we?”

“What if we could offer you a chance to get out now that the blockade has been lifted?” Clarke asked, her eyes scanning the area to check if anyone was close enough to overhear their conversation.

“How about you get to the point?” Emori’s her voice was sharp and rigged with impatience.

Clarke faltered as she rested her hand against the canvas bag at her hip. Swallowing her hesitation, she dropped her eyes to the ground beneath her, “We need you to guide us out of here to where Jaha found A.L.I.E.”

Murphy and Emori exchanged wary glances before he rotated to face Clarke, his expression shifting to a cautious curiosity. “Question number one: what’s the catch? Question number two: why?”

“Answer number one: no catch. You and Emori can get out of here and… I guess, do whatever you and Emori  _ do  _ after we get there,” Raven replied flatly, brow furrowing.

“And you’re the only two who can take us,” Clarke stated, her voice sinking to a whisper, “the A.L.I.E. power source rebooted itself and, before having the commander’s chip taken out, Lexa tried communicating with me.” Clarke’s heart fluttered in her chest thinking back at the visions of Lexa she’d seen in the forest. She stifled a smile turning at the corner of her lips at remembering how her dark green eyes had locked with hers. “She’s alive.”

“You sound like a crazy person,” Emori exhaled.

“I’m not crazy,” Clarke snapped, a flush of anger blushing her cheeks, “I saw her, okay? Raven can back me up on the theory that Lexa is still alive in the City of Light. But we can’t reach her unless we can gain access to her supply of spare parts and equipment.”

Murphy shook his head, “How can we be sure that the AI bitch isn’t in there with her? I don’t exactly have warm fuzzies about anyone venturing back into the City of Light.”

“Have anything else better to do?” Raven chided. “If you wanna stay here to play Murphy-the-ditch-digger until the radiation comes to kill us all then be my guest. But we’d rather have a little fun before we die.”

Emori shrugged and raised her eyebrows, “Well, I can’t really argue with that logic.”

“Yeah, compelling point,” Murphy grumbled, impaling the shovel deep into the dirt mound. He slid off his filthy gloves and tossed them to the ground, “So what’s this  _ grand _ plan of yours, princess?”

Clarke smiled and shifted the weight of the canvas bag beneath her shoulder, “I’m glad you asked.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reading, everybody! :) I'll try to keep these chapters coming weekly.


	8. Chapter 8

“I gotta admit, I’m relieved that you’re staying back on this one, Clarke,” Bellamy’s sincere smile lit up his tired face as he slid into the seat beside Clarke’s hospital bed. Reaching out, he gently took her hand into his and offered her a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s for the best,” Clarke spoke through a weak, faltering smile. “In my state I would only slow everyone down.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Bellamy smile so warmly and now felt a pang of guilt at deceiving him. At that very moment, Raven, Murphy, and Emori were waiting for her at the dropship with A.L.I.E.’s power pack. But Bellamy didn’t know any of this; Bellamy had no idea that once her mother and the medical convoy had departed, so would she.

Abby sat on the mattress and brushed a loose strand of blonde hair away from Clarke’s cheek, “Is there anything else I can do to help before we leave?”

“She’s fine, Abby. Come on, we gotta go,” Octavia crossed her arms and impatiently shifted from one foot to the other.

Clarke smiled at Octavia, “No kidding, you guys have a long ride ahead of you,” then turning her attention to her mother, “I’m fine, Mom. Really. I just need some rest is all.”

Abby forced a smile and leaned down to kiss Clarke on the forehead. Pulling back, Clarke could see her mother’s eyes begin to well with tears, “May we meet again.”

The words twisted sharply at Clarke’s heart and she grew acutely aware of her mother’s apprehension. She and the other doctors were to depart into grounder territory to treat what was most likely a surge of radiation poisoning. There wasn’t only the danger of possible violence during the convoy from rogue grounder criminals, but of being exposed to the same deadly radiation that was obliterating whole grounder villages. The danger was very real, and there was a very real possibility of Abby never seeing her daughter again.

_ I won’t let that happen _ .  _ I’ll find Lexa and the City of Light before that happens _ , Clarke thought as tears of her own now began to sting at her eyes.

“May we meet again.”

\---

“O, wait!” Bellamy called out down the hallway. Octavia and Abby left the medical bay only a few minutes earlier and had nearly reached the exit, but stopped suddenly and watched as he jogged towards them in a hurry. Octavia’s eyes darkened as he approached.

“We’ll be waiting for you by the gate,” Abby rested her hand on Octavia’s shoulder before excusing herself out the door, leaving the two alone together.

“What do you want?” Octavia’s voice was flat and hollow as she spoke despite the brewing storm in her eyes.

“I know you’re still mad at me. And I don’t expect your forgiveness,” Bellamy began, his voice and eyes soft and pleading, “And I know that there is nothing I can do that will change what I’ve done, but I want to help make things right. I want to join the convoy.”

“No.”

“O, please let me-“

“I said no!” Octavia barked. Bellamy fell silent, yet the pleading in his eyes never waned. “What would Indra say to me if I were to allow a man who’s responsible for the murder and massacre of her people to accompany a convoy set for  _ grounder territory _ ?”

“I’m not that man anymore. Yes I’ve made mistakes, but I’m trying to-“

“- you think that by tagging along, whatever  _ help _ you could provide will assuage the guilt you feel for murdering innocent grounders? For slaughtering Indra’s army? For  _ Lincoln _ ?” Octavia’s eyes brimmed with tears as she said his name aloud. Her jaw grew taut and her face hardened as she dropped her gaze to the floor. Bellamy reached out to embrace her, but jerked back when she knocked his arm away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Octavia,” Bellamy’s voice cracked in his throat. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, straining to bridge the gap between himself and his sister, “I-I’m sorry.”

When Octavia lifted her gaze from the floor, the tears in her eyes had sunk away. “If you really want to be useful, Bellamy, help Clarke. But you’re not coming with us.” With that, Octavia turned and stepped through the open exit, leaving Bellamy alone in the hallway in a heavy, thick silence.

Bellamy stood in the open doorway and leaned against the frame, peering out across the open expanse of grass towards the opening gate. It was nearly nightfall, but he could still see the distinct features of Octavia’s face as she mounted her horse beside Abby. She pulled at the reins and turned the horse to trot away, however Abby looked back once more and offered a sympathetic wave to him before following.

The medical convoy was small, with only a few horse-drawn carts and mounted personnel, yet their parting left the camp feeling peculiarly empty. Glancing up at the gate tower, Bellamy’s heart sank at seeing Kane posted along the railing, watching the convoy in their departure. Abby was gone, and so was Octavia. And when Kane looked over his shoulder to meet his gaze from across the yard, Bellamy wondered if the two were sharing the same thought at watching the convoy disappear into the darkness:  _ Our loved ones may not come back. _

It had only taken a few short, agonizing moments before the convoy was out of sight. Returning inside the Arc, Bellamy strode back towards the medical bay and strained to push aside the heartache at his sister’s heated dismissal to his offer to join them.

Bellamy turned to enter into the medical bay, “Hey, Clarke, are you hungry at all-“

Clarke’s bed was empty. He stood, eyes hanging over the mess of sheets strewn across the mattress, and sensed a panic growing in his chest. Rushing forward, he placed his palm flat on the sheets and felt the last fading warmth escaping with the chill in the air. She hadn’t been gone long.

Just as Bellamy began to turn away from the bed, something in the corner of his eye drew his attention. Glancing back at Clarke’s pillow, he discovered a small, folded sheet of paper resting between the creases of fabric. He snatched at the paper and unfolded it, and the message scrawled across the middle caused his gut to churn with unease.

_ Please trust me and don’t follow. I’m alright, and I’m sorry. _

_ -C _

\---

The snapping of twigs and leaves beneath Clarke’s footfalls sounded harsh against the silence of the forest.  As she navigated through the blackness between the maze of trees and low-hanging branches, the anxiety she had felt when slipping past Arkadia’s fence gave way to a growing excitement. Her fingertips grazed along Lexa’s cloak, now draped around her shoulders and over her hair, and felt a smile turn at the corners of her lips.

_ Just a little longer _ , Clarke thought.  _ Just a little longer and I’ll find you again _ .

Entering into the clearing of the dropship, Clarke raised her hands and signaled to the group waiting near the ramp. Peering through the moonlight, she stifled a laugh at noticing a horse grazing lazily on the grass against the dropship’s hull.

“How in the hell did you manage to sneak a horse out?” She asked, approaching Murphy and Raven across the clearing.

Murphy shrugged, “Stealing isn’t that difficult, especially when the guards are idiots.”

Glancing around, Clarke squinted her eyes though the darkness, “Where’s Emori?”

“She’s collecting up some of the snares she put out for food along the way, she should be back soon though,” Raven limped down the ramp and gestured towards the heavy canvas bag on the ground, “Could you help me with this?”

Clarke lifted the bag and carried it to the grazing horse, “It’s a good thing we have the horse, with your leg and all.” She hoisted up the bag and placed it gingerly behind the horse’s saddle. Raven secured the bag with the straps of the saddle and patted the horse’s hind.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be my new best friend, aren’t you?” Raven asked the horse playfully while scratching its side.

“Nobody move!” a man suddenly bellowed from the tree line. As they turned in the direction of the voice, they instinctively raised their hands into the air at seeing the barrel of a rifle pointed towards them. As the figure moved out from the darkness and into the moonlight, Bellamy’s face became visible on the other side of the rifle.

“Bellamy, what the hell?” Raven shouted, her arms still raised in the air.

Murphy’s lip curled to a snarl as he placed his open palms on top of his head, “Put that thing down, man. Don’t be an ass.”

“Somebody tell me what’s going on here,” Bellamy barked, lowering the rifle’s barrel slightly. His voice denoted a boiling anger deep in his throat that felt hot against the chill in the air.

“We’re leaving, Bellamy,” Clarke responded. “And you need to let us go.”

“Like hell I am! Where are you even going? You lied to get out of a convoy that’s been sent to  _ help _ people, to do  _ what _ exactly?”

“Clarke’s dead digital girlfriend is actually alive in that bag over there so we’re going back to A.L.I.E.’s insanity palace to plug her back in.” Murphy spat the words out, monotone and flat, gesturing to the horse who had lazily moved onto a patch of weeds to graze on. He shrugged, “or something like that, I don’t know. I’m just looking to get out of here.”

“That’s… oddly accurate,” Raven muttered to herself.

Bellamy parted his lips to speak, but before he could utter a word a loud – **whack-** echoed through the open clearing. Bellamy’s eyes rolled back as he fell forward, landing hard on the solid earth beneath him. Standing behind his collapsed body, Emori clutched tightly onto a rope with a metal ball tied to the end, swinging it to and fro in the darkness.

Clarke rushed towards Bellamy as Murphy let his arms drop heavily at his sides. “Now what?”

“If we leave him here, he could lead a party to come bring us back. He knows where we’re going,” Emori stated, sliding her rope sling back onto her belt.

“Well then we don’t have a choice,” Clarke said, checking the wound on his head. He was alive but unconscious, and was most likely going to wake up with a terrible headache. She turned and directed her attention to the grazing horse, “We have to bring him with us.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke's body ached by the time the sun rose the next morning; her feet, hips, and back groaned with each footfall. But with each painful step, she knew she was that much closer to A.L.I.E.'s mansion and reaching Lexa. She knew the journey itself would leave her joints and muscles screaming, but she couldn't care less. Lexa was waiting for her and no distance was too far if it meant seeing her face again. Whenever she began to grow tired, it only took Lexa's cloak brushing against her cheek to jar her awake again.

The early morning sun broke through the canopy of branches above them and felt warm against her face. Glancing over, Clarke smiled and stifled a chuckle. "I both envy and pity you on that horse, Raven."

"Well, how about you give me your leg so we can switch" Raven was seated on the horse, glaring forward with tired, exasperated eyes. Bellamy's unconscious body rested against her back, his head drooped over her shoulder and his arms were wrapped around her waist and bound at the wrists. 

Murphy walked ahead the horse, leading the group with Bellamy's rifle slung over his shoulder, "I personally envy the idiot for all the sleep he's getting right now."

"I wouldn't envy him," Emori grinned, "He's going to have a hell of a headache when he wakes up." As she spoke, Bellamy began to groan and shift his forehead against Raven's shoulder, slowly waking from his unconscious state. "Speak of the devil."

Clarke walked beside the horse, looking up at Bellamy as he grew increasingly aware of his surroundings, "Just take it slow, Bellamy."

"W-What-?" Bellamy lifted his head and opened one puffy eyelid, squinting through the early morning sunlight, "What happened?"

"Emori knocked your lights out when you started being an ass," Murphy groaned, partly to himself, as he swung the rifle forward and wrapped his hand around the grip."Play fuck fuck games, win fuck fuck prizes." 

"We couldn't leave you at the dropship," Clarke began, her voice was calm and gentle, "You'd bring others to follow us. I couldn't let that happen."

Bellamy grew acutely aware of Raven seated in front of him and twisted at his bound wrists in front of her waist. His face flushed red as he cleared his throat, "So you strapped me to Raven and just brought me along?"

"Trust me, this was not my ideal arrangement either," Raven replied, "But neither of us are really in the position to walk, were we?" 

"I can walk," Bellamy's voice was hoarse as he winced at his emerging headache. Murphy glanced back at Clarke and the two exchanged a wary, concerned look. "What do you think I'm going to do? I don't even know where I am. What other choice do I have but to cooperate with this ridiculous plan of yours?"

Murphy offered a shrug and adjusted the rifle against his shoulder as if to say 'whats the worst that could happen?' 

"Okay," Clarke reached out for the horse's bridle and gently tugged it to a halt, "But Murphy keeps your rifle and your hands stay bound. If you try  _ anything _ -"

"-I won't." Bellamy's tired eyes locked with hers, and she could see his attempt at being earnest. Bellamy had lied to and deceived Clarke in the past, and their trust hadn't repaired yet since the City of Light. Thinking back on their encounter after Indra's army was slaughtered, she swore she could feel the metallic chill of his handcuffs against her wrists even now. But this was different; Bellamy was outnumbered and had zero bearing; he had little choice but to acquiesce.

"Yes, please, I think both the horse and myself would be much more comfortable with one less human on this saddle," Raven pleaded.

\----

' _ Travel at night in the cover of darkness, rest in the warmth of the day. _ ' That was what Emori had recommended when Clarke divulged her plan to them the day before. ‘ _ Criminals are lazy and go after easy prey. They expect travelers on the road during the day and will seek out camps at night to raid. _ ’ Clarke at the time asked how she knew all of this, and Emori's only response was a smile. 

Clarke’s bones ached when she finally sunk deep into a bed of soft moss later that morning. Emori’s familiarity with the road to A.L.I.E.’s mansion was more acute than Clarke could’ve predicted and she was surprised that this woman even knew where to hide along the road. They would have been helplessly lost before the sun rose that morning if it hadn’t been for Emori, and she appreciated her now more than ever.

“We’re only about half a day’s walk from the dock.” Emori lowered herself onto a log and shifted uncomfortably against the heaviness in her shoulders. “Let’s hope the boat is still there.”

Raven, having Bellamy assist her down from the horse’s saddle, shot her a quick look, “And if it isn’t?” Emori grinned and shrugged her shoulders, but said nothing. Raven turned and limped away towards a shaded patch of moss. “That’s reassuring…”

Reclining against a nearby tree, Clarke slid her hand deep inside her pocket and withdrew the small blue chip. Her eyes lingered on the thin infinity symbol etched into its hardened shell as she rotated it gently between her fingers.

“May I?” Bellamy gestured to the open space next to her, and Clarke broke her gaze away just long enough to offer a disinterested nod. Taking a seat beside her on the moss, his eyes drifted to the blue chip resting between her fingers.

“Listen, Clarke-“ he faltered and dropped his gaze,”-I’m sorry, for everything. I was only trying to protect you. And our people.”

“I’m not asking you to protect me, or even to necessarily understand why I left. At this point I’m not even sure  _ I  _ understand what’s going on.” Clarke closed her hand around the chip and stared into the distance. “I’m only asking that you trust me.”

Before Bellamy could respond, a distinct bird whistle carried across the mossy thicket and Emori, who had been sitting lazily on her log, immediately threw herself down to the ground.

“ _ Skrish _ ! Down, everyone get down!” she hissed hushed commands while gesturing angrily until each of them had flattened themselves against the dirt. Clarke, still clutching tight to the chip in her palm, felt her pulse rush as she darted her eyes towards the road. Past the couple hundred meters of dense branches and tangled foliage, Murphy had been the lookout on the road armed with Bellamy’s rifle.

“Hey, what the hell?” Raven whispered.

Emori mouthed her response as a trickle of voices began to creep through the silence: ‘ _ A thief pack _ .’

Clarke’s chest tightened as the voices approached and grew clearer. The group of men conversed in trigedasleng, but their words sounded too foreign for her to comprehend. A subtle shift in the bushes drew her attention away from the road, and the realization that Raven’s horse still stood tall in the vegetation made her blood run cold. Hearting pounding, Clarke groped for the pistol strapped to her thigh and grasped at the handle.

_ Keep walking... Keep walking…   _

Wrapping her fingers tighter around the pistol’s grip, Clarke braced herself for the possibility that the grounders may notice the horse and come to investigate. If they are a ‘thief pack’ as Emori suggested, their less-than-friendly intentions would force her to use the pistol now holstered to her thigh. In that moment of clarity, a chill danced up her spine.  _ I wouldn’t hesitate in killing them _ , she thought.  _ After all that’s happened and how far we’ve already come, after how close I am to finding Lexa again… if they try to stop me or hurt my friends, I’ll kill them without batting an eye. _

Clarke imagined Murphy by the road, crouched behind a tree amongst a cluster of bushes. She was sure his finger was curled around the trigger of that rifle, just as prepared as her to take a life if necessary. Not wishing for it, but ready nonetheless. Murphy, as blunt and harsh as he could be, was just as much of a realist as she was, and knowing he was the one standing guard with the rifle helped temper her fiery nerves.  

Clarke’s heartbeat drummed in her ears as the moments passed agonizingly slow. They waited in silence, wincing with each motion and noise made by the horse in the bushes nearby. The men’s voices eventually grew distant and faded, and after what felt like an eternity the distinct bird cry carried into the thicket once again. Upon hearing Murphy’s signal, Emori leapt to her feet and dashed towards the road to find him.

“That was cutting it a bit close, don’t you think?” Raven propped herself up on her elbows and shot a dirty look at her horse, who snorted happily and chomped at a nearby patch of leaves.

Clarke let her fingertips slip away from her pistol as she rested her forehead against the bed of dirt beneath her. The rich scent of earth wafted into her nostrils as she let out a deep, tired breath. She closed her eyes and felt the tension in her muscles and joints begin to loosen. The adrenaline was beginning to wane, and it was in that moment she felt just how exhausted her body was. Rolling onto a patch of moss, Clarke clutched the hand holding Lexa’s chip to her chest and welcomed the sleep clouding her mind.

\-----

After resting in the daylight, the group collected their belongings and departed by nightfall as planned. They had followed the road until Emori directed them down an old, fading path that disappeared into the woodline. The night’s sky blanketed them in darkness as they trudged single-file through the thickening forest, swatting at ravenous mosquitoes and low-hanging webs along the way.

Clarke’s skin was crawling by the time they reached the end of the trail, which opened into a wide, expansive lake that reflected the moonlight across its calm surface. Emori’s estimated time for arriving there was uncanny; they had arrived in the middle of the night as she said they would.

“ _ Sha, floudon _ !” Emori exclaimed, letting out a laugh as she pointed into the darkness. 

“A boat? Where?” Clarke stepped forward and peered across the expanse of water but saw nothing.

“Over there!” Emori gestured along the shoreline and directed Clarke’s gaze to a dock masked in the shadows of the night. Tied to the dock, she could barely make out the edges of a boat resting in the water. “A.L.I.E.’s mansion is just across the lake. We’ll arrive by dawn.”

A sudden jolt of adrenaline coursed through Clarke’s body like a volt of electricity, and she couldn’t suppress the smile now curling at her lips. However as they began walking along the lake’s shoreline towards the dock, she couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched. Brushing the sensation aside, she instead focused on how near the Mansion and Lexa now felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between chapters- this month has been awful! But I will publish again very soon :) Particularly getting close to the mansion, how can I NOT keep writing? I miss Lexa just as much as you readers do!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the one you've been waiting for! Thanks for reading, I hope you like it! :)

Clarke stepped off the boat as the morning’s first light began to peak above the horizon. Squinting through the dawn’s haze, she could see the impressive pale mansion waiting for them across a wide, grassy field. This was where Jaha had found A.L.I.E. after tirelessly wandering in the wilderness, and this was where Clarke now hoped to find Lexa. Somewhere within that mansion was a key to accessing the City of Light and she wouldn’t rest until she found it.

_We’re so close, Lexa_ , she thought, adjusting the heavy canvas bag on her shoulder. _We’re so close to finding you_.

“Whatever you do, don’t enter any strange underground entrances you find out here,” Murphy said, stepping past Clarke on the shore. “I learned that lesson the hard way.”

“Being here bringing up some bad memories, Murphy?” Raven asked as she followed him up the beach.

He scoffed. “That’s putting it lightly.”

From afar the mansion appeared impressive and welcoming, considering that their living conditions as of late were no more than the remains of a crashed satellite or ruins of a long-dead civilization. However as they approached, the exterior of the home grew clearer in the lightening morning sky; some of the large windows emplaced along the front of the home were shattered, and the roofing along the far-left corner was sinking low into the top floor.

“The place must’ve fallen apart after A.L.I.E. was knocked off,” Emori said as she kicked a downed drone resting on the grass. There were at least a dozen drones laying scattered like lifeless insects across the field, all having died when A.L.I.E.’s software crashed over a month ago. The sight of the deteriorating mansion and motionless drones reminded Clarke of a cemetery, and a chill rushed up her spine as the haunting thought sank in. This was A.L.I.E.’s grave.

Clarke approached the front door and pushed it open. Peering through the dark entrance, she adjusted the bag on her shoulder again before stepping inside. She could feel her pulse begin to beat harder as her eyes glided along the interior of the home.

“This place must’ve been beautiful once,” Bellamy said as he stepped inside behind Clarke. He traced his fingertips along the white marble walls and uncovered a damp layer of grime. Smiling, he brushed the muck off on Raven’s jacket, who in turn guffawed and elbowed him in the gut.

“Jackass.”

“Okay, we’re here now. Let’s just hook your girlfriend back up, do what you gotta do, and get the hell out of here,” Murphy said, his agitation masking his escalating anxiety.

“Do you know where A.L.I.E.’s servers were located?” Clarke asked, her eyes still lingering on the marble hallways. Looking up, she observed cobwebs dangling from the ceiling chandelier.

“No, I didn’t really stay long enough to get too familiar with this place,” he responded, shifting from one foot to the other.

“What about down here?” Emori asked from a distant hallway, her voice trailing along the walls. She had wandered off into an empty corridor without anyone noticing, and was now standing before a solid steel doorway. When Clarke approached, she immediately noticed the distinct marks etched into the metal in what appeared to be failed attempts to break through.

“I guess someone else wanted in too,” Emori said, tracing her fingertips along the deep gashes in the steel.

“Yeah, well, whoever that someone was obviously had no idea how mechanics work,” Raven said as the approached the enclosed access box beside the door. Prying off the cover, she smiled at the lump of wires and a single, red dot blinking in the center. “Looks like this place isn’t as dead as we thought.”

Clarke placed the canvas bag on the floor and rested her palm against the metal door, “You think A.L.I.E. is still around?”

“Not likely. It looks like she was smart enough to have a reserve generator for basic security, though. I think this place is only generating enough power to keep this door locked. Whatever’s behind this door must be pretty valuable.”

“Can you get through?” Clarke asked.

Raven smiled and cocked an eyebrow, “Give me five minutes.”

\---------

Five minutes had turned to ten, and then turned to fifteen. By the time the heavy steel door finally unlocked itself and swung open, Raven was murmuring obscenities under her breath. Behind the door they discovered a wide staircase that led to a cold, dark cellar. Switching on their flashlights, they were met with gigantic monitors lining the walls above a complex network of consoles and server towers. The steel door _was_ protecting something precious – this was A.L.I.E.’s operational center.

It took only a few moments of ogling the beautiful machinery in the room before Raven dove into her work.

“Right, just hold it right there,” she grunted, adjusting her back on the hard floor beneath her. Clarke stood above her with the flashlight, angling the beam of light to illuminate the mass of wires and circuits jutting from the wall beneath the main server. The canvas bag that Clarke had carried all this way now rested above Raven’s head, the tangle of wires pooling from the unzipped opening.

Clarke suppressed the anxiety now building in her chest and gnawed at her bottom lip. “How long should it-“

“-Shut up, Clarke,” Raven growled. Clarke clammed up and struggled to remain still holding the flashlight. Watching Raven work always amazed her, and she was determined to distract herself by watching her friend work her hands expertly amongst the mechanical jungle hanging down from the server.

A sudden sharp electrical buzz popped through the air as Raven recoiled back from the wires.

“Shit!” Another pop cracked, and then a low-hum started to rumble through the cellar. The lights on the main server flickered on, and gradually the other servers, monitors, and consoles began to creep out of their dead slumber.

“Raven, you did it!” The lights flickered brightly above them and illuminated the cellar, and when Clarke turned to smile down at Raven, she could see Raven’s smugness had returned.

“Of course I did. Hooking your girl back up was a cakewalk.”

“Now what?” Bellamy asked, warily tracing his gaze along the walls of blackened monitors reading [AWAITING INPUT].

As Clarke helped Raven to her feet, a door that had until that time been unseen in the darkness, slid open on the opposite wall. The group turned and watched as the lights in the room switched on, revealing a wide, white room lined wall-to-wall with massive capsules.

“The hell-?” Murphy took careful, calculated steps forward. Adjusting the stock of the rifle against his shoulder, he peeked his head into the room and scanned the area. “Looks empty, besides these weird containers. It’s a bit creepy, don’t ya think?”

Clarke walked through the open doors and shuddered at how sterile the room felt; she recalled feeling this way within her holding cell in Mount Weather. The floor, walls, and ceiling were white, and the large white capsules lined down both sides allowing for one or two people to squeeze between them. A rack of blue doctor coats sat in the far corner.

She approached the closest capsule and rested her palm on the surface. As she did so, a small square panel on the capsule slid open, revealing a hollow cavity inside. Clarke stared at it for a few moments, half curious and half cautious. What was this place? This couldn’t have only been A.L.I.E.’s control center if these strange capsules were here, could it?

“What is it?” Raven asked, limping up to stand beside Clarke. Her eyes peered down at the small cavity in the panel before a hint of a grin curled at her lip. “Clarke, give me Lexa’s chip.”

Clarke shot Raven a defensive look, “What?”

 “Just trust me on this,” Raven reassured her before watching Clarke reluctantly remove the chip from deep within her pocket.

After a moment’s hesitation, she placed the small blue object in Raven’s palm and glanced away in resignation. Clarke trusted Raven implicitly, especially after all that she’s accomplished so far. But she hated to part with the one last connection she shared with Lexa, and the uncertainty of their current endeavor twisted at her heart. All she wanted was to see Lexa again, to reach the City of Light where she hoped she was now waiting for her. Clarke’s eyes lingered across to the other room where she suddenly caught a glimpse of the message blinking on each monitor.

[AWAITING INPUT] [AWAITING INPUT] [AWAITING INPUT]

Turning back to the capsule, Clarke watched Raven slide the chip inside the empty cavity. It was a perfect fit, and the panel closed automatically once the chip was detected. The two women stepped back as the capsule began to rumble and hum.

“Now what?”

Raven shrugged. “I guess I could try to hack into whatever program is up and running now in that other room. If there _is_ a new City of Light then maybe we can find your girl. To be honest, I’m kinda winging this.”

The door slid shut behind them as they exited into the main controller room. Raven had only just taken a seat at the console when Clarke felt a heaviness drop down onto her shoulders from behind. Collapsing forward to the floor, she braced against a painful ache now stretching down her spine and legs. Lying face-down on the cold tile floor, she watched through a muted fervor as Bellamy rushed forward, his fist drawn back to strike at whoever stood behind her.

Gunshots rang out inside the cellar, but the noise itself sounded muffled and hazy as she struggled to hoist herself onto her hands and knees. Shouting, screaming, and gunshots seeped into her consciousness as she felt a warm trail of blood slide down her neck and chest.

_No_ , her vision began to blur and her strength wavered, _I’ve already come so close_.

Clarke’s trembling arms failed under her weight, leaving her to collapse once again onto the floor. Her vision darkened as she watched two tall, bearded grounders step into view. Darkness consumed her, leaving one last haunting thought in her mind: _We were so close_.

\----

“Where is it?!”

“I’ve already told you, we don’t know about any ‘ _treasure_ ’!”

Clarke eased back into consciousness, and a skull-splitting headache, to the sounds of screams. Opening her eyes, she peered up and saw that they were still inside the cellar, but she was lying on the floor with her hands bound behind her. Lifting her eyes to the center of the room, her heart stopped at the immediate sight of blood pooling on the white tile floor.

Bellamy was knelt, blood dripping off his chin, in front of a tall grounder with a long braided beard and a blue face tattoo. Closer to the capsule room door stood another male grounder, a little shorter than his companion, yet appearing just as rugged and cold. Scanning the room further, Clarke discovered the lifeless body of a third bearded grounder who had been shot to death. The knuckles belonging to the grounder standing before Bellamy were raw and stained red. He reached out to grasp a fistful of Bellamy’s hair.

“The woman in red tol’ us that if we scavenged for ‘er, we’d be rewarded. So we scavenge for ‘er, day in ‘n day out,” his accent was thick, but he spoke slow and concise. “Now, we’ve been tryin’ to get in ‘ere since she’s gone ‘n left without followin’ through. And then you turn up ‘nd open the door for us. But there ain’t nothin’ down ‘ere, is there, Lorik?” Lorik, his aggravated companion by the door, grunted in agreement.

“Clarke,” Raven whispered. She turned and saw that Raven was lying untouched beside her, but her eyes were filled with terror. “They’ve already nearly beaten Murphy to death… they were going to take me, but Bellamy demanded they take him instead.”

Clarke shifted around and peered over her shoulder to see Murphy lying unconscious on the ground, his face and body battered and bruised. Emori, with her own hands bound behind her, buried her face in his chest, whispering quietly in trigedasleng as though each word were a prayer.

“Oi, Bjorn,” Lorik said, gesturing to Clarke, “The girls ‘woke.”

Bjorn released Bellamy’s hair and tossed him aside, a snake-like grin stretched across his face. “Well, good mornin’ Wanheda!” Clarke could’ve sworn she felt her heart stop at that moment, but her fear gradually gave way to a churning rage building in her chest.

“That picture that Azgeda fella had ‘a you was spot on, wadn’t it, Lorik?” Bjorn continued. Roan must have been in this area in his search for her months ago, and being reminded of this made the rage she felt only worsen. Lexa had sent Roan to find her. Lexa was looking for her then… Lexa… Lexa was waiting for her then, and she’s waiting for her now.

“That’s right, I _am_ Wanheda,” Clarke barked, sitting up to her knees. Despite the residual dizziness from her head wound, she steadily rose to her feet and squared herself before him. “I’m the Commander of Death, the Mountain-Slayer. Leave now and you and your friend will live.” _Bluff_ , she thought. _Bluff enough and maybe he’ll buy it and leave_.

Bjorn let out a laugh and stepped forward, “I don’ think so, _Wanheda_.” Just as he reached his hand out and grasped her by the throat, the lights within the cellar flickered. Glancing over his shoulder, Bjorn shot a look a Lorik. When Lorik offered him nothing but a clueless shrug in return, the doors to the capsule room abruptly slid open.

“ _Skrish!”_ Lorik jolted away from the opened door and peered inside with an anxious curiosity. The activated capsule’s cover had lifted, revealing an empty, hollow space inside. Bjorn’s grip around Clarke’s throat tightened as he gestured for Lorik to step inside to investigate. Lorik begrudgingly complied and took cautious, calculated steps into the room as he withdrew a knife from his belt. When the doors slid shut behind him, Lorik shouted Bjorn’s name before his screaming was cut short by an abrupt, hard snapping sound.

“Lorik!” Bjorn cried, jerking Clarke around beside him by her throat. He withdrew his own knife and pressed the edge beneath her chin. She closed her eyes, heart pounding against her ribcage, and grew acutely away of the cold metal against her skin. “If my brother is dead, she’s dea-!”

Clarke heard the hum of the door sliding open before sensing an object glide past her cheek, hitting Bjorn square in the chest. When she turned her head and opened her eyes, her jaw dropped at seeing Lorik’s dagger embedded deep into Bjorn’s sternum. The tight grip around Clarke’s throat loosened, and the lumbering man faltered momentarily before collapsing back to the floor. He struggled, lifting his fingertips to the hilt to retrieve the knife, but his strength eventually failed before his limbs became heavy and lifeless.

“Holy shit,” Raven uttered, her eyes widening.

Clarke, seeing Raven’s aghast expression, looked over her shoulder towards the capsule room across the cellar. Lexa was standing in the doorway dressed in a spare doctor’s lab coat; her dark hair hung heavy over her shoulders as she glanced up from Lorik’s dead body on the floor. Her tired, green eyes met with Clarke’s, and the smile that Clarke had ached so long to see again now curled at the edges of Lexa’s lips.

“Hello, Clarke.”


	11. Chapter 11

The cellar was still. Even Emori, who had been whispering prayers over Murphy’s chest, lifted her eyes to the once-dead ruler of her people now standing across the room. A lingering silence hung over them like a heavy shroud.

“Lex-“Clarke’s voice broke through the stillness but faltered, tears brimming in her eyes. Words felt useless to her now as she was overtaken, consumed by the sight of Lexa standing in the doorway. Lexa began walking towards her, her bare feet padding the cold tile floor beneath each step. Her pace was measured as her eyes glanced to each onlooker’s alarmed expression, her tired smile waning.

“Please be still,” Lexa’s voice was reassuring and calm as she rounded Clarke’s shoulders to undo the ropes binding her wrists. Clarke shivered at Lexa’s touch and nearly felt her heart burst from her chest. She felt the tension from the rope ease as her hands were released. When she turned around, Lexa had already stepped away to free Emori from her bindings. Lexa spoke quietly to Emori and gestured to the others, her voice lower than Clarke could hear.

“ _Sha, Heda_ ,” Emori replied with a nod while rubbing her raw wrists. Standing, she walked to Raven and unbound her hands.

“How?” Clarke asked, her voice struggling to escape the tightness now clutching her throat.

“No shit, I have so many questions,” Raven spoke out, mostly to herself, while staring at Lexa in wonderment.

“I know you have many questions, Clarke, and I will be happy to address them,” Lexa’s voice remained calm as she began walking back towards her. “But perhaps first I would be permitted to find some clothes?”

Taken aback, Clarke now realized that through Lexa’s calm demeanor, she was gently shivering beneath the blue lab coat; beneath the thin jacket Lexa was stark naked. She felt a flood of heat rush to her cheeks as the thought struck her.

“Y-yes, of course-“

\---

Clarke stood with her back to Lexa across the capsule room as she slid the labcoat from her shoulders. The door to the room was closed shut while the others regrouped and tended to Murphy and Bellamy’s wounds. Hearing the jacket drop to the floor, Clarke raised her fingers and grazed them across the surface of the open capsule.

“I’m having some trouble processing this.”

“It’s a lot to process,” Lexa replied, sliding Lorik’s loose pants over her bare hips and buttoning the front. The clothes were large for her, but Lorik was the smallest of the grounders in the cellar. His clothes would have to do.

“I thought that if I would see you again, it would be in the City of Light. I-“Clarke glanced over her shoulder and caught Lexa tugging Lorik’s sleeveless shirt down her chest and waist. The tattoos that had decorated her arms were now gone, leaving only smooth, untouched skin. Clarke looked away again, redirecting her attention to the open capsule, “-I watched you die, Lexa. After all that’s happened with A.L.I.E. and her tricks, her deceit and manipulation… I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t know if I can separate what’s real and what’s a trick.”

“I know,” Lexa, fully dressed in Lorik’s clothes, walked across the room to stand beside Clarke, “I know that it’s hard to trust your intuition when everything already feels uncertain. But I must ask that you trust me again like you did when we were together in Polis.”

Turning, Clarke gazed up into Lexa’s eyes, “How can I trust what I don’t even know is _real_?”

Lexa reached out and took Clarke’s hand. Without a word, she pressed Clarke’s palm against her chest and stood looking into her eyes.

“I _am real_. You can feel my heart beating beneath my chest, can’t you? You can feel me breathe?” Lexa’s eyes were calm, yet pleading as she gently held Clarke’s hand in place. “If I were to cut myself, I would bleed. If I were fall onto a blade, I would die. I am _human_ , Clarke.”

Clarke sensed the repetitive rapping of Lexa’s heart beat beneath her palm, and she felt the pressure of her warm chest rising and falling with each breath. Lexa was alive. Lexa was _alive_. The tears that she struggled to hold back only minutes earlier now resurfaced and stung at her eyes. She remembered the chill that filled the air when Lexa slipped away in her arms only months ago, and here she was now standing before her. She felt so warm and alive that Clarke’s memories of Lexa’s death felt like a lingering nightmare rather than a bitter reality.

Moments later, Lexa’s arms were folding around Clarke as she wept against her shoulder. Clarke nearly collapsed into her embrace and wrapped her arms around her waist, clutching at the shirt draping down her back. Through her sobs, Clarke felt Lexa press her cheek against her hair and pull her closer.

\---

“An organic 3D printer?” Raven guffawed.

“That’s correct. One of the initiatives of the organization that created A.L.I.E. was to promote a program to assist in the preservation of human life by means of organ generation,” Lexa explained, gliding her fingertips along the frame of the control console. “The DNA is replicated by means of data input, and in my case…”

“… The Flame,” Raven finished, a smile growing across her face. “The commander’s chip carried minute traces of your DNA. So the printer could just replicate your body and input the chip to transfer your stored consciousness.”

“So you’re human, then?” Bellamy asked, warily eying Lexa up and down.

Lexa returned Bellamy’s scrutiny with a steely glance, “Yes. I _am_ human.”

“And how do you know all of this? About A.L.I.E. and all of… _this_?” Clarke asked, gesturing to the wall-to-wall monitors and servers in the cellar. Lexa’s coldness thawed immediately as she redirected her attention away from Bellamy to Clarke.

“When the commander’s consciousness was merged with A.L.I.E. in the City of Light, I was exposed to A.L.I.E.’s internal databases and memory logs. Because the two programs had merged, when you terminated the A.L.I.E. program, you also eliminated the Commander program as well,” Lexa explained. “However, Becca installed a failsafe within the Commander program that would preserve the most recent commander in the Flame until the next took their place. You _did_ enter the City of Light with the Flame, but you couldn’t fully sync without being a nightblood. So, my consciousness remained inside the Flame, along with the data I had acquired from A.L.I.E.’s logs.”

“Wow.” Raven chuckled, her eyes widening. “This is all just incredible.”

“So all of those visions that I saw of you… and all the pain that I felt from the Flame?” Clarke asked, sounding mildly hurt and confused.

“For the suffering I caused you, I am sorry. I couldn’t fully reactivate A.L.I.E.’s powerpack system without also fully triggering the Flame. I had to wait until Raven removed the chip so I wouldn’t kill you, Clarke.” Lexa’s voice was soft and apologetic as she spoke.

“So what do we do now?” Bellamy asked, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

Lexa straightened her back, her eyes hardening, “I need to return to Polis to warn our people. Clarke was right when she warned you all about the approaching radiation.”

Clarke stepped forward, brow furrowed. “Wait, A.L.I.E. said we had at least six months. How much longer do we have?”

Turning, Lexa met Clarke’s gaze, “Weeks.” Clarke could see panic streak quietly behind her quiet green eyes.

“Every living soul on our lands will perish in a matter of weeks.”


	12. Chapter 12

“So let me get this straight,” Raven said, sitting on the floor with her forehead cupped in her palm. “We thought we had at least another 4 months before the radiation wiped us all out, and now we’re being told we have  _ weeks? _ ” The cellar remained silent, Lexa crossed her arms and glanced to Clarke who now gazed hopelessly to the floor. “We’re all going to be dead in a matter of weeks?”

“That is correct,” Lexa replied. 

Bellamy scoffed and shook his head dismayed, “Well, that’s just great! Outstanding-”

“- _ however, _ ” Lexa’s voice was pointed and ripe with authority when she darted a steely glare in Bellamy’s direction, “There  _ is  _ a way for our people to persevere through this devastation, although many may not see it as a sensible option.” 

Clarke hesitated for a moment before lifting her gaze. Brow furrowed, her eyes met with Lexa’s. “You can’t mean the City of Light?”

“Not exactly,” Lexa explained, her tone softening, “You’ve already destroyed A.L.I.E.’s City of Light, all traces of what you witnessed in that program are gone. However the initial software that was used to create the City of Light remained backed up within these servers.”

“And because your programs already merged, once your consciousness could fully reactivate A.L.I.E.’s power source, you had automatic access to those servers…” Raven nodded and half-chuckled. “You’re right, after the shit A.L.I.E. pulled no one will accept going back to the City of Light.”

“I agree.” Emori glanced up from Murphy, whose battered head rested on her lap. “People who refused to accept the chips were crucified in the streets, Heda. And those of us who broke down and took it…” Her voice trailed off and her eyes glazed over, as though the recollections alone haunted her. 

“I understand, but I am  _ not _ A.L.I.E. and my Sanctuary is  _ not  _ the City of Light,” Lexa responded.

“The Sanctuary? Is that the new program?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded, “It is. The Sanctuary will shelter our people safely until the radiation has cleared and we can return again using the capsules in that room.” 

“So you intend to force us to take  _ another  _ chip, be locked up inside A.L.I.E.’s computer program long after our bodies have decayed in the real world, and come back to a wasteland in those machines?” Bellamy asked, gesturing to the room lined wall to wall with organic 3D printer capsules. 

Lexa stepped forward, her cold green eyes locked onto Bellamy like a predator eying their prey. “Please enlighten me on what  _ your _ superior plan is to save our people?” 

Bellamy’s jaw grew taut as Lexa stepped closer, “We evacuate to the habitable lands, avoid the radiation.”

“So you hope to evacuate thousands of our people in a quest to find the last four percent of the planet that will remain untouched in a matter of weeks?” Lexa asked, her voice growing sharper with each word. “And tell me, how do you intend to sustain yourselves once the waves of radiation has irradiated your food and water supply?”

“We’ll find a way,” Bellamy stepped into Lexa’s space and glared down at her, his face flushed with anger. “We’ve always found a way. We’ll survive on our own.”

“Yes, well, good luck with that. And when children begin to die of starvation around you, I hope your impressive righteousness is enough to assuage your guilt.” Lexa turned and walked back to Clarke’s side, leaving Bellamy to fester in his churning anger.

“This is ridiculous. You guys can’t possibly agree to this.”

Clarke drifted her gaze to Raven, who now looked at her as though she were just as confused and unsure. The air began to feel tense with each passing moment.

“Clarke.”

Clarke turned and noticed the sullen expression across Lexa’s face. Her heart twisted in her chest as the message in Lexa’s eyes became clear:  _ Please trust me _ . 

“I-” Clarke hesitated, then shifted her attention to Bellamy, “I think this is the best shot we have, Bellamy.” When Clarke turned back to Lexa, her desperation had faded away and was replaced with relief. “What do we need to do before leaving for Polis?”

The corner of Lexa’s lips curled up in a kind smile, “We need chips.  _ A lot _ of chips.”

\---

The sun began to set across the lake when Clarke stepped out onto the front door steps and discovered Lexa sitting on the grass amongst the cemetery of dead drones. Lexa sat, back and neck erect, facing the setting sun with her eyes closed. Clarke had discovered Lexa this way before in her Polis bedroom the day she was killed, and the memory alone still left her heart aching. 

She sat beside Lexa and took a moment to appreciate the scenery laid out before them. The sunset sky was a scarlet-orange against the approaching stormclouds in the distance, and she was filled with a calmness that now felt foreign to her.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Lexa asked, her eyes slowing opening against the diminishing sunlight. 

“It is,” Clarke replied, watching Lexa more than the view. She grew aware of the chip she had carried out with her, resting delicately in her palm. She peered down at the silicon and rotated it between her fingers. When she looked up from her hand she noticed Lexa watching her.

“I understand your hesitation, Clarke,” Lexa’s voice was calm and reassuring. “I would hesitate too after what A.L.I.E. has done.”

Clarke shrugged, “We’re out of other options at this point. The way I see it, we’re going to die anyway, right? Might as well make one last crazy effort to survive. We have only about 2,500 more to print and we should be ready.”

Lexa’s eyes dropped to the chip in Clarke’s hand. “Would you want to see it before we leave?”

“The Sanctuary? Is it ready?”

Lexa smiled and nodded. “There may be a few minor corrections to be made along the way as the program progresses, but it is ready. Do you trust me?” 

Clarke took a measured breath and lifted the chip up in front of her eyes. She examined it for a moment before parting her lips to slide it over her tongue.  _ What do I have to lose at this point, if we’ll all be dead anyway in a matter of weeks? _ Swallowing the chip, Clarke turned her gaze to Lexa sitting beside her.

“Now, close your eyes,” Lexa instructed, her eyes and voice softening as her smile grew. 

Clarke complied and closed her eyes. After sensing a cool breeze against her cheek, she opened her eyes once and discovered herself standing beneath the canopy of a tall, dense forest. The sounds of birds and rustling leaves filled her ears, and the scent of pine and earth drifted into her nostrils. She spun around slowly, taking in every sensory detail as she gazed up through the tangle of branches.

“Do you like it?” 

Clarke turned and watched Lexa approach her, dressed in her Commander’s garb and armor. Her long, red cape draped over her shoulder and caressed the earth as she stepped across the bed of pine needles. A warm, welcoming smile stretched across her lips. 

“Lexa this is…,” Clarke turned and gestured vaguely to their surroundings, “...just, incredible! It’s so different than the City of Light.” 

“That’s what I intended,” Lexa explained as she approached a nearby treetrunk. She placed her palm against the bark and caressed the rough surface. “The City of Light was cold and sterile, it rid people of their ability to live and feel. I want this Sanctuary to be a place where our people can  _ live _ . And I’ve always felt my most alive in the forest.” Lexa turned and rested her back against the trunk. “I want this world to be as close to ours as possible. I want our people to not even be aware that their consciousness is being stored in a cold, dark cellar while the world outside is drowning in radiation. While we’re here, we can train and prepare the skills we’ll need when we return to reality. We can give our people a purpose here...”

Clarke stepped across the soft pine and stood in front of Lexa, a smile curling at the corners of her lips. “Do you remember when I told you that your legacy would be peace?”

Lexa’s smile widened, “I do. To be honest, I didn’t believe you then.”

“Do you believe me now?” Clarke leaned in against Lexa’s body and lifted her chin to press her lips against Lexa’s. The moment hung, suspended in the air, in what felt like a blissful eternity before Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and pulled her in closer. Clarke smiled against Lexa’s lips as she cupped her palm around Lexa’s cheek. She felt her heart swell inside her chest and her pulse quickened. Lexa’s fingers gently ran through her hair. When their lips parted, Clarke looked into Lexa’s green eyes and smiled. Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke’s and smiled, her embrace growing tighter.

“We should be getting back soon, we need to rest for tomorrow’s journey,” Lexa whispered, nudging her forehead playfully.

“Just a little bit longer,” Clarke sighed, closing her eyes. Feeling Lexa’s arms around her and basking in her warmth, she desperately clung to the sense of peace she now felt. 

Lexa lifted her chin and pressed a kiss on Clarke’s forehead, “Of course, Clarke.” 


	13. Chapter 13

“Hey there, Murphy. Just take it slow...”

Murphy opened his swollen, sore eyes to discover Emori and Clarke hovering over either side of him. His bones ached, and he felt a throbbing pain radiating from his skull down to his toes as he laid on a set of old, misshapen pillows. The lumpy sofa he rested on reeked of musk and stale sweat, and he grimaced at the stench and shifted uncomfortably against the cushions beneath him.

“So I take it we’re not dead?” Murphy asked, his voice scratching against the dryness in his throat. The distant beat of footsteps drew his attention, and when he shifted his gaze to follow the sound he caught a glimpse of Lexa striding across the foyer with a canvas bag thrown over her shoulder. He froze, bruised and swollen eyes gaping at her as she stepped out the front door. “Nope, we’re dead. We’re totally dead. I’ve died.”

“No one is dead,” Emori said, a smile growing across her lips. Reaching out, she rested her palm softly against his cheek, “Except for the ones who did that to your face.”

“Serves them right for damaging this work of art,” Murphy replied through a weak smile of his own. “So, princess, mind sharing how your dead girlfriend is somehow less dead now?”

“It’s… kind of a long story,” Clarke said, turning her attention to Lexa, who had returned into the foyer empty-handed. Lexa turned, met her gaze, and smiled. A rush of heat kissed Clarke’s cheeks as she turned back to Murphy. “Emori can fill you in while you recover.”

Murphy hoisted himself to rest on his elbows, “You’re leaving us here?”

“Just until you recover,” Emori explained. “In a few days’ time we’re to meet them in Polis.”

Scoffing, Murphy plopped back down to the sofa. “Of course- Polis! Because the last time we were there it was just so pleasant. What’s waiting for us this time? Torture? Crucifixion? Death?”

Clarke hesitated. “Most likely death. But would it make you feel better if I said that our irradiated deaths are inevitable regardless of where we are?”

“Oh yeah, warm fuzzies all over.”

\--

The tugboat bobbed beside the dock as Clarke stepped onto the deck. She glanced back across the open field to see Lexa speaking with Emori at the mansion’s front step. Lifting her hand to shield her eyes against the sunlight, she watched as Lexa reached out and placed something in Emori’s hand, to which Emori nodded and returned inside the mansion.

“She’s giving them the chips.” Clarke turned her head to watch Raven limp across the deck to her side. “Just in case they can’t make it to Polis in time.”

“Do you think we’ve made enough chips?”   

“I think the few thousand we produced should be enough, but it all depends on how many people are actually willing to take them,” Raven explained solemnly. “It’s going to be a tough sell after A.L.I.E.”

“I know,” Clarke spoke as she watched Lexa cross the expansive, grassy field. “But I’ve been there, Raven. The Sanctuary is different than the City of Light.” She turned and looked into Raven’s eyes. “You haven’t taken it yet, have you?”

Raven shook her head. “Not yet, no. After what that A.L.I.E. bitch did to me… I just-“ She looked away from Clarke and let her gaze settle on the lapping waves against the stones resting on the beach. “-I can’t bring myself to, not yet. But I will when I’m ready.”

Clarke reached out and wrapped her arm around along Raven’s shoulders as Lexa stepped onto the boat. Without a word, Lexa drew a sword from her belt and hacked at the rope binding the tugboat to the dock, severing it with one stroke. The motor in the rear sputtered to life, spitting and gurgling for a few anxious moments before maintaining its low, dull purr. The vessel drifted away from the dock and turned against the rocking waves, directed towards the opposite shore.

\--

A flash of lightning ripped across the darkening evening sky, dragging a rumbling thunder in its wake. Heavy winds tore through the treetops, sending a cascade of tumbling leaves and debris to the dirt path below their footsteps. Raven then felt the sudden, slow pelt of heavy raindrops against her head and back. Her horse snorted and shook its neck, its stride steadily beginning to increase to the point where she had to tug back on the reins.

“Guys, not to be a pain, but this storm is making Pearl really anxious. I think we should find somewhere to hunker down and wait it out,” Raven proclaimed over the whirling winds. After the group had reached the shore, she was delighted to find that her horse hadn’t strayed far from where they’d left her nearly two days prior. But it had nearly been half a day of traveling along the dirt road before the thick, looming fury of storm clouds caught up to them and was now breathing down their necks.

“I agree with Raven,” Bellamy stated, adjusting the straps of the bag fastened to his back. “And we need to rest. I say we find a dry spot somewhere nearby.”

Lexa hesitated for a moment before glancing towards Clarke. Beneath her old red commander’s cloak that now draped over Clarke’s hair, Lexa could see the exhaustion through the bright blue of her eyes.

“Very well,” she turned and stepped into the brush, “But we must depart once the storm passes.”

\--

The small fire flickered and cracked against the hard, cold earth with both Raven and Clarke curled up nearby for warmth. After nearly fifteen minutes of searching the surrounding wooded area, Lexa had discovered the shallow cave they currently occupied embedding into a steep, rocky cliff. The space was compact, but it was dry and spacious enough to light a small fire. And by the time each of them had stepped inside the stony mouth of the cavern, the sky had opened and released a deluge of rain, drenching each of them to the bone.

Lexa stood at the mouth of the cave, arms crossed and watching the flames dance against the occasional breeze that seeped in from the storm outside. The rain pelted the ground behind her, and she closed her eyes to take in the scent of burning wood and wet earth. She shivered against the cold, soaked clothes that clung to her skin but embraced the discomfort fully. There were times that she was much colder, where her stomach growled with hunger and her muscles and bones had ached for reprieve. Compared to the suffering she had learned to accept in her younger years as Anya’s second, through months of tireless war campaigns against the Ice Nation, this cave was pleasant. Anya and Gustus had taught her to embrace suffering like a warrior; both pain and discomfort were unavoidable but temporary, and either you persevered or you were killed.

Lexa opened her eyes and let her gaze fall on Clarke, who slept on the earth beside the fire. The flickering light danced across her cheeks, and Lexa felt her heart swell inside her chest _. Despite their lessons and wisdom,_   _both Anya and Gustus are now gone. And so was I... But now I’m here, and I have her again_.

“Not going to rest?” Bellamy asked flatly, entering drenched into the cave from behind her. She turned and noticed he had caught a rabbit and was carrying its limp body by the ears.

“I’m keeping watch,” Lexa replied, her steely glare following his movements. Her arms remained crossed, yet her fingers now reached and delicately grazed the dagger hilt resting in her belt. “Would you mind if I have a word with you, Bellamy? Outside.”  

Bellamy hesitated and glanced down at Raven and Clarke, who continued to sleep soundly near the warmth of the fire. He dropped the rabbit to the ground and stood tall, locking eyes with Lexa before offering a nod. Lexa exited the cave into the deluge of rain and Bellamy took one more look at the sleeping girls before following.

“What do you want?” Bellamy asked, catching up to Lexa who stood, hands behind her back, in the pouring rain.

“To clear the air. Do you really think I don’t know that you’re the one responsible for slaughtering the army I sent to protect your people?” Lexa’s words were bitter, and her eyes grew harder and cold. “You stood by and supported a man who slaughtered my people and started a war that resulted in hundreds of lost lives. And yet you present yourself with this righteous anger that acts against your people’s best interests.”

“I don’t want to hear anything from a woman who left us to be slaughtered by the Mountainmen without a second thought,” Bellamy snapped. “And then with Clarke-“

“-What  _about_ Clarke?” Lexa nearly growled.

“You betrayed her and then used her as Wanheda for political leverage against the Ice Nation when it fit your needs. And now you want us to just follow you and blindly accept this chip like you’re some kind of savior? How can we be expected to trust you after all that you’ve done?”

Lexa took a step forward, her fierce eyes now burrowing through Bellamy like hot steel. “You, Bellamy Blake, are weak minded fool. Your recklessness and ignorance has directly led to the slaughter of hundreds of innocent people, including the only man your sister loved. And yet you blame others for the guilt that weighs heavily on you day after day; you can blame me, Clarke, the ‘grounders’… but rest assured, at the end of the day there is a reason why you can’t stand to look at yourself in the mirror. Can you even trust  _yourself_  with all those lives hanging on your conscience?”

Bellamy suddenly lunged forward, arms outstretched to clutch at Lexa’s throat when she dipped aside. Wrapping her arm around his neck, she spun him around and flipped him, tossing his body against stony ground beneath them. The cold, wet edge of Lexa’s knife pressed against his Adam’s apple before he could manage to sit back up to fight.

“You  _killed_  me, Bellamy. By sparing your people after you slaughtered mine, I answered with my life,” Lexa hovered over Bellamy and pressed the edge of the knife harder against his throat. “But I am not here for retribution. I’m here to save our people, but I will not have you poisoning people’s minds with your arrogance.”

“So are you going to kill me?”

“No. But you and Raven will return to Arkadia while Clarke and I continue to Polis to speak with the coalition. I strongly advise that you swallow your pride and distribute the chips if you want Skaikru to survive the radiation. Unless you want _their_  lives on your conscious as well.”

Lexa retracted the knife from his throat and backed away. Without another word, she turned and walked back to the entrance of the cave, sliding the knife back into place on her belt.  When she glanced back again before stepping inside, Bellamy was still lying on his back in the rain, staring at the dark swirling sky above him.


	14. Chapter 14

“Clarke.”

Clarke stirred, her back aching from sleeping on the cold, stony ground. She squinted through the morning light that seeped into the cave to discover Raven crouched down beside her, face radiant and smiling. She appeared far more rested than Clarke currently felt.

“Come on, we gotta go,” Raven said, offering her hand. Clarke grimaced at the outside glare and struggled to her feet. A gust of wind drifted into the cave and brought with it the scent of cooked meat and earthy smoke.

“How long have I been asleep?” Her throat was dry and her head pounded with each footfall on the ground. She knew by the ache in her bones that she had spent hours on the ground, but she didn’t feel nearly as rested as she’d hoped.

Raven chuckled. “Long enough.”

The storm had long since passed, yet Clarke could still hear the pattering of droplets falling from the treetops when she stepped outside. A thin ribbon of smoke trailed listlessly into the air from a nearby extinguished fire as Lexa and Bellamy finished strapping gear onto the horse. Clarke snapped a twig beneath her feet in her approach and drew Lexa’s gaze.

“Good morning,” she said, her face softening with a growing smile. “I’m sorry we couldn’t let you rest longer.”

Clarke smiled, but hesitated when she noticed the darkness etched into Bellamy’s face. His lips were downturned and his brow furrowed in aggravation. He fastened the final strap of a canvas bag with a firm tug onto the horse’s hind before shooting a glare in her direction.

“Is everything alright?” Clarke asked.

“It’s fine. Let’s get out of here, Raven,” Bellamy grumbled before turning to stride back towards the road. Lexa watched him as he disappeared into the wood line, her expression hardened and cold.

“Wait- what?” Clarke turned and looked at Raven, who hoisted herself up onto the horse.

“Raven and Bellamy are not coming with us to Polis. They are returning to Arkadia to deliver the message about the radiation and distribute the chips,” Lexa explained as she kicked more dirt onto the smoking, extinguished fire.

“Bellamy thought it would be a good idea to split up to cover more ground. If the radiation is approaching as fast as it is, we need to warn our people.” Raven turned the horse and ushered it to Clarke’s side.

Clarke furrowed her brow and shook her head in disbelief. She glanced over to Lexa, who lifted a bag filled with chips onto her back before turning her attention back to Raven, restraining the tears now stinging at her eyes. She didn’t want them to split apart, not when the radiation was so close and everything felt so uncertain. With only weeks left, would she even see them again? What if Raven didn’t take the chip in time? Clarke panicked at the thought of reaching the Sanctuary after the radiation had consumed them and Raven wasn’t there waiting for her. Death had followed her like a shadow and taken her loved ones away one by one, but in the Sanctuary they would be rid of that for a while at least.

“Be careful, okay?” Clarke forced a smile and reached her arm out to her. Raven smiled and leaned down over the horse to take hold of her hand.

“May we meet again.”

Clarke tenderly squeezed Raven’s hand. “May we meet again.”

\--

“So would you mind telling me what happened back at camp?” Clarke adjusted the canvas bag of chips on her back as her and Lexa walked along a narrow path through the forest. Their walk together had been silent and somewhat tense since Raven and Bellamy’s departure, and they were now only an hour out from reaching Polis’ main gates.

“Bellamy and Raven returned to Arkadia, what else is there to discuss?” Lexa replied, her eyes remaining fixed on the path ahead.

“What else is there to discuss? Lexa, Bellamy looked _furious_.”

“That is to be expected. Bellamy is temperamental,” Lexa replied with an exasperated sigh.

“Lexa-“ Clarke reached out and took Lexa’s hand into her own. Lexa halted and turned to meet Clarke’s gaze. “What happened between you two?”

Lexa hesitated for a moment, contemplating, before lowering her gaze to the earth below. “I confronted Bellamy about his reckless behavior while you and Raven were asleep. When I challenged him, he attacked me. I subdued him and stated that he would be returning to Arkadia while we continued on with our journey. I believed that his antagonistic outlook on not only myself but my people would compromise our mission in Polis.”

“And Raven?” Clarke asked, her voice wavering between concern and agitation. “Did you send her away too?”

“Raven volunteered to join him. She wanted to be sure that Bellamy did not spread incorrect information in Arkadia,” Lexa explained, her eyes turning to Clarke’s hand nestled in hers. “Despite her reservations about the Sanctuary, I believe she understands the necessity of it and does not trust Bellamy to carry the message to Arkadia. I believe that Raven will ensure your people find their way to the Sanctuary before it’s too late.” Lexa’s gaze lifted to meet Clarke’s eyes. “Are you upset with me for sending Bellamy away?”

Clarke parted her lips to speak, but faltered and fell silent. She was upset that Raven was gone and her heart ached at the thought of not seeing her before the radiation took them both. But the idea of Bellamy attacking Lexa infuriated her and subdued any objection to his departure. Stepping forward, Clarke pulled herself close against Lexa and pressed her lips against hers. She felt Lexa’s fingers gently graze against her cheek before brushing her hair behind her ear. When their lips separated, Clarke opened her eyes to see Lexa smiling back at her.

“No, I’m just relieved he didn’t hurt you.”

Lexa chuckled and traced her fingers along the red cloak draped over Clarke’s hair. “Men as undisciplined and volatile as Bellamy can’t hurt me, Clarke. It’s like fighting a child.”

Clarke smiled when she noticed Lexa’s eyes moving over the red cloak, “Do you want it back? You _are_ Heda, after all.”

Lexa gently shook her head and turned her smile to Clarke, “No, I think it looks better on Wanheda. And you will need to be Wanheda when we reach the Polis gates if I am to get inside Polis without being recognized.”

“Will you need me to get Roan to bring you in?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shook her head and turned to continue walking down the path. “It’s not Roan I need.”

\--

Two grounder guards kept watch at a narrow gate embedded into the tall, steel walls of the Polis perimeter. The walls were fastened together with thick sheets of scrap metal and reached taller than the treetops that loomed nearby. The two men leaned against the wall, speaking and joking quietly amongst themselves as the sky darkened with the approaching nightfall above them. A snapping twig from the treeline pulled their attention, and as they grabbed their spears a dark figure emerged from the foliage.

“ _Hod op_!” One shouted, pointing his spear towards the approaching figure.

“ _Ai laik Wanheda_ ,” Clarke proclaimed as she stepped out from the darkness, her red cloak billowing with the breeze. “ _Ai gaf Indra kom Trikru in_.” The two guards froze and gaped at her for a few moments before glancing at one another, unsure of how to progress. Clarke took another step forward. “ _Beja_.”

\--

Nightfall had completely fallen and darkened the sky by the time the doors to the gate finally opened once again. Clarke had remained in the same spot, waiting patiently for Indra’s arrival when the guards returned. However when Clarke turned towards the opening doors, her heart stopped at seeing Indra draw her sword from her sheath. Even through the darkness Clarke could detect the rage now churning across Indra’s face.

“ _Branwada gada_! How dare you show your face here!” Indra shouted, swinging her blade into the air.

“Indra, stop!” Clarke’s blood ran cold as she turned and darted back towards the treeline. She felt the swing of Indra’s blade clip at her heels as she ran.

“They’re dead because of you!” Another swing of Indra’s sword sliced the back of Clarke’s jacket, nicking the skin just beneath the fabric. Clarke tumbled past the line of trees and stumbled forward, crashing down through the tangle of branches and bushes beneath her. Clarke frantically clawed at the earth to regain her footing, however felt the solid base of Indra’s boot kick her back down.

“Indra, wait-!“

The boot against Clarke’s back pressed down harder, crushing her ribs into the rocks below. “More of my people are dead now because of Skaikru’s lies!”

Clarke’s heart pounded heavily in her chest as she struggled to breathe against the pressure against her aching back. She felt the warm trickle of blood slide down her shoulder from her new wound before growing acutely aware of the sword raised above her head. She closed her eyes tight, bracing for the cold pierce of the blade, when suddenly she felt the boot lift from her spine.

Opening her eyes, she saw Indra tossed against a nearby tree by a dark figure, her sword dropping to the earth beside her. Indra reached for the knife on her belt and wrapped her fingers around the hilt before the dark figure withdrew their own knife and pressed it against her throat, drawing a sliver of blood from the skin.

“ _Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op_.”

Indra suddenly fell still at the sound of Lexa’s voice and loosened her grasp around the knife. “H-Heda?” Lexa cautiously lowered the blade from Indra’s throat and stepped back towards Clarke, who by now had staggered to her feet.

“Are you alright, Clarke?” Lexa asked, eyeing up the fresh wound on her back. Clarke nodded, silent, and breathed through the stinging now radiating down her shoulder.

Lexa returned her attention to Indra, who was now gaping at her as she stood in the moonlight, ignoring the thin cut on her throat. Indra shook her head and leaned off the tree to take take slow, calculated steps towards her commander. She watched Lexa now as though she were a ghost, her eyes both hopeful and wary.

“How is this possible? How are you here?”

“It does not matter how I am here now. What does matter is that my service to our people is not yet over,” Lexa said, turning her gaze from Clarke to Indra. Slipping back into the role of commander appeared effortless, and she projected an authority that could be felt even in the darkness of the forest. “I must enter Polis and speak privately with Roan, but no one can know that I am here. Can I still rely on you, Indra?”

Indra stood tall before her commander and reached out her arm, “ _Ai badan yu op en nou moun, Heda.”_

Lexa reached out and clasped onto Indra’s arm and smiled, “ _Mochof_ , old friend.”

“Indra, what did you mean about your people dying? About it being our fault?” Clarke asked.

Indra released Lexa’s arm and turned to face Clarke, examining her carefully. “You truly don’t know?”

Clarke furrowed her brow and shook her head, confused. “ _Know_? Know what? I don’t understand.”

“The Ingranrona villages that Skaikru were tasked with treating have been completely decimated. Hundreds of lives- lost,” Indra explained, her voice growing heavy with sadness. She turned her attention to Lexa. “There are no reports of the Skaikru medical convoy even reaching the villages. The council interpreted this as Skaikru failing to follow-through with the terms of our peace treaty. They will meet in two days’ time to discuss the prospect of war.”

Lexa turned her gaze up towards the Polis tower through the treetops, its flame burning radiantly through the night’s sky.

“Indra, take me to Roan.”

 

Translations:

_Hod op-_ Stop

 _Ai laik Wanheda. Ai gaf Indra in. Beja_ \- I am Wanheda. I seek Indra. Please.

 _branwada gada_ \- foolish girl

 _Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op_ \- Attack her and you attack me.

 _ai badan yu op en nou moun_ \- I serve you and no other

_Mochof- thank you_


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait on the update- life/work has gotten a bit hectic. But I will post again soon! Thank you for reading, you guys are awesome :)

“Wait here. I will send for Roan,” Indra instructed as she led Clarke and Lexa into the dim, candle-lit throne room of the Polis tower. The guards closed the doors behind her as she departed, leaving the two women standing alone in silence.

Lexa had wrapped a tattered shawl around her face and hair to obscure her identity during their journey through Polis’ streets. She couldn’t imagine what Polis’ reaction would be if someone had recognized her and spread the rumor that their fallen commander was suddenly back from the dead. They recognized Wanheda immediately by the Heda’s cloak wrapped close around her shoulders, but Lexa had walked among them undetected and she preferred it that way.

Her green eyes peered between strands of frayed fabric and scanned the room, her gaze falling on each empty councilmen’s chair before coming to a halt on the throne. She lingered there, staring at the twisting, fastened wooden branches in the candlelight before being drawn back by the touch of Clarke’s hand.

“Everything okay?”

Lexa broke her gaze from the throne and met Clarke’s eyes. “I know it has been months since I’ve been gone, but standing here now-” Lexa shook her head and glanced up to the high ceiling, admiring the features of a room that once felt so familiar. “Time passes differently in the Sanctuary, Clarke. It feels like I’ve just left but everything already seems so distant and foreign. Like returning home and finding it no longer belongs to you -”

The doors to the throne room suddenly flew open with a loud, jarring clatter. Roan, agitated and striding fast, crossed over the entryway with Indra following closely at his heels. His eyes fell on Clarke and hardened at the sight of her.

“Why am I not surprised that the great Wanheda is the one responsible for disturbing me at this hour?”

“Roan, thank you for agreeing to meet with us-“

“The only reason why I am here now is because Indra insisted that this was an _emergency_ ,” Roan crossed his arms and shot Indra a snarl.  “Have you come all this way to try to save your people again? To make more excuses?”

Indra signaled for the guards to close the doors behind them before turning to gesture to Lexa, who stood with her back to Roan, “Steward, Wanheda has not come alone tonight.”

“Is that so?” Roan asked, directing his attention to the shrouded figure nearby.

Lexa turned and squared with Roan, her piercing green eyes now hostile and cold. “We meet again, Roan kom Azgeda.” Her fingertips reached up to take hold of the tattered, ragged shawl before drawing it away from her face.

The warmth that Lexa had shared with Clarke only moments ago had faded. The woman standing before them now was the stoic, austere commander that Clarke remembered meeting for the first time in that tent almost a year ago. A chill shivered up her spine just recalling the authority Lexa commanded that day, and how overwhelming and daunting their first meeting felt.

“Well isn’t this… interesting.” Roan narrowed his gaze on her. He shifted his attention to Clarke and watched her for a few moments before taking slow, calculated steps towards the throne. His eyes returned to Lexa as he walked up the steps to take a seat. “So, the Commander of Death comes to me this evening with the dead commander. And to what I do owe this peculiar honor?”

“You’re well aware of why we’re here,” Lexa retorted flatly. “Your messengers have been bringing news of people dying throughout our lands for weeks now, have they not? Having fallen prey to some ‘horrific illness’?”

“Is that what Indra has told you?”

Clarke stepped forward. “Regardless of what she _did_ tell us, we know for ourselves that its radiation wreaking havoc in the countryside and killing your people.”

“Yes, and if only Skaikru had arrived to offer the medical care they promised, perhaps some lives could’ve been saved,” Roan spat, narrowing his eyes on Clarke. “Your people failed us, yet again.”

“Listen, I don’t know what happened to the medical convoy, Roan, but I watched them leave Arkadia. My mother was among them,” Clarke snapped back, her anger now flushing red against her cheeks. “My people _did_ hold true to their word, but something must have happened along the way to prevent them from arriving in time.”

Roan watched Clarke for a few moments and shook his head, “The agreement for lifting the blockade hinged on Skaikru offering medical assistance to our people. Skaikru, regardless of their good intentions, did not meet the conditions of the agreement and must face the consequences. The council won’t have it any other way.” 

Lexa stepped forward before Clarke could lash out, her eyes now brimming with livid, frustrated tears. Lexa’s voice was steady, yet firm. “Roan, do you really think it wise to declare war when our people are on the verge of extinction? By the time you mass your forces against Arkadia it will already be too late.”

Roan’s jaw grew taut, his knuckles whitening from clutching to the armrests of the throne. “What would you have me do, Lexa? An unstoppable force is annihilating our people and it is only a matter of time before it reaches us. Many on the council believe that this is only a sickness and that the strong will survive it in the end. They feel it is a purge of the weak.” Roan dropped his gaze to the floor at Lexa’s feet. “What **my** people need now in this time of uncertainty is a demonstration of strength and power. Skaikru _must_ be held accountable, if only to quell public unrest.”

“And you’re just going to allow Skaikru to be your scapegoat in all of this?” Clarke asked, her tone biting and harsh.

Roan remained silent, his eyes fixed to the floor. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, hanging his head, “There is no other choice. The council has all but decided.”

“Roan,” Lexa took a step forward and rested a foot against the bottom stair to the throne. “I understand the pressure you feel to maintain the image of strength your title demands. But what you’re doing is a mistake.”

“I ask again, Lexa, what would you have me do?”

Lexa dropped to a knee before Roan and extended her open palm. He lifted his gaze and found the thin, blue chip resting in her hand. “Do your duty and help me save our people.”

Roan’s brow furrowed, his eyes turning dark with suspicion. “After that red woman’s tyranny you would subject us to her again?”

“It’s different now,” Lexa glanced to Indra, who now also appeared uncomfortable and hesitant. “ _This_ is how I’m standing before you again; how I am _alive_. The same can be done for our people after the radiation passes. A.L.I.E. is gone, but we can use the tools she left behind to save ourselves.”

Roan reached out and took the chip between his fingers. Drawing it closer, he examined the fragile, transparent edges and scoffed. “So our people would still die, then.”

Lexa paused for a moment and offered a nod. “Yes, they will. However they will be safe in my Sanctuary until the radiation passes, at which point we may return here. But if the council has its way, everyone’s death shall be final. There will be no coming back.”

“Roan, I know this isn’t the solution you were looking for. It isn’t ideal, and we know that,” Clarke said. “But running from the radiation won’t save us. And I know that trusting us isn’t easy, especially after what we’ve had to endure with A.L.I.E., but this is our only hope of survival.”

“ _Survival_ ,” Roan sneered. He closed his palm around the chip and lifted his eyes to meet Clarke’s. “It’s late and you’ve bothered me enough. I will have no more talk of this.”

“I must insist that we speak again before the council meets,” Lexa almost growled, standing abruptly to her feet. Indra strode towards the door raised her hand s to give two, hard claps. The wooden doors swung open and two large guards stepped inside.

Roan leaned back and straightened his spine against the twisted throne, “The only way we will meet again, Lexa, is if I request it. And I have no interest in that.”

Clarke took a step forward. “Roan, please-“

“-Indra, remove them. I want them out of my city within the hour,” Roan turned his attention to Indra, who complied and stepped forward to grab Clarke by the shoulder.

Lexa’s hardened, icy glare pierced through Roan as she secured the ragged shawl once again around her hair and face. He refused to meet her gaze, and instead only lifted his chin in defiance and stared ahead in silence. A glimmer of sweat rose against his brow, and seeing this told Lexa all that she needed to know: Roan was afraid. Lexa then felt Indra’s grip clutch around her bicep and tug her away towards the door.

The heavy wooden doors swung shut behind them as they departed, leaving Roan to sit alone in his throne room. The candlelight flickered against his dampening cheek as he peered down at his clutched hand. Uncoiling his fingers, he examined the blue chip resting against his palm. Silence hung heavily in the air, disturbed only by the low rapping of his quickening heart in his ears.

“ _Survival_ ,” he muttered to himself, his lip curling into a scowl. Closing his fingers around the chip once again, he looked away and slid the thin device between the cushions of the throne, hiding it from sight. “We’ll see.”


	16. Chapter 16

“It is not much, but it will keep you safe from Roan. At least for the time being.” Indra opened the front door to the small cottage nestled in the back of her estate. The home was modest, with only a bed, wood fireplace with cast-iron pot, and a back room with an old copper tub. It was humble, but welcoming.

“What is this place?” Clarke asked, stepping across the threshold into the warm glow of the burning fireplace.

Indra hesitated, but then turned to Clarke, “This cottage belonged to my daughter, Nisiah. But she was lost years ago in the wars against the mountain men.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said, her brow furrowing. She hadn’t ever envisioned Indra as a mother, however the longer she lingered on the concept she realized it wasn’t too farfetched. Despite her rigidity, there was a softer side to Indra that Clarke knew she would never see, and she briefly imagined the softness that Indra would have shown her daughter.

“Don’t be. Nisiah died a warrior’s death, one that was avenged when the mountain fell.” Indra turned and stepped outside. “I would advise that you remain here until the Coalition meets in two days’ time. I will try to speak to Roan in the meantime.”

“Thank you, my friend,” Lexa stepped forward and outstretched her arm. Indra reached out to firmly clasp onto it, offer a brief nod, and turned away to depart into the darkness.

Lexa closed the door and slid the tattered shawl from her face. “How is your shoulder?”

Clarke paused for a moment, completely forgetting the wound that she’d suffered earlier that evening at the edge of Indra’s sword. Remembering it now, the gash in her skin began to ache and throb. “To be honest I’d forgotten it until now. I’m sure it’s fine, though.”

Lexa approached her and lifted her fingertips to the torn, bloodied cloth on the back of Clarke’s jacket. “It needs to be cleaned. Would you care for a bath? I can clean it for you.”

Clarke turned and gazed at Lexa, her cheeks suddenly warm. “What- like, _together_?”

“Clarke, there is only one tub and the water pump out front can only give us so much water. We both need to bathe,” Lexa smiled teasingly. “This isn’t an attempt to get you naked, this is being efficient.”

“Okay, yeah,” Clarke smiled back. The more time she spent with Lexa the more she noticed herself smiling, however doing so still felt foreign to her. “That sounds reasonable. Efficient and reasonable.” Clarke playfully nudged Lexa on the arm, to which Lexa took her hand and brought it to her smiling lips for a quick kiss.

“You should lay down and rest. I’ll ready the bath and wake you when its ready.”

\----

Clarke lowered herself in the steaming hot water of the copper tub, wincing when the water touched the edges of her open wound. The gash wasn’t particularly large or deep, but it stung nonetheless. She felt the heat begin to sink into her tired, aching limbs and let out a grateful sigh.

“Oh, I needed this.”

“The first thing I’d do when I returned to Polis from a campaign was take a hot bath,” Lexa explained as she disrobed behind Clarke. She dropped her clothes to the wooden floor beneath her in a pile and turned to step into the tub behind Clarke. “Not only to wash off the blood and filth, but to just soak my bones in the warmth. There would be some days when my body was so sore I’d lay in the bath for hours, sometimes even falling asleep.” Lexa dipped a clean rag into the water and brought it up to the small gash on Clarke’s back, padding it gently to wipe away dried blood and dirt. “Titus would try to hurry me out, insisting that I had no time to rest. There was always _something_ waiting for the Heda. But Indra would intervene and insist that I have that time to myself.”

Lexa fell quiet for a few moments as she dipped the rag into the water again. When she brought the rag back to Clarke’s back, her voice was softer and laced with sadness.

“Indra would tell Titus that I needed that time for myself because war was hard on the body. She insisted that I couldn’t be the Heda our people needed if I was broken, so she always made sure that I at least had that time to myself.”

“Indra’s loyal to you. To be honest, I was surprised she disobeyed Roan by bringing us here, even though he’s the head of the coalition now,” Clarke said.

“Our bond goes further than me being her Heda,” Lexa said, now sliding the wet rag across Clarke’s bare back. “I’ve known Indra for most of my life. Nisiah and Costia were cousins, and the three of us were very close as children. As we got older our duties began to draw us apart, but our friendships remained. Nisiah began training as a warrior in the army, I trained with Anya and the night-bloods, and Costia studied to become a healer. But eventually Nisiah was sent to war and was lost, and Costia… you know.”

Clarke nodded. She closed her eyes and felt Lexa’s hand caress her back, suddenly appreciating each moment that she had with her. Nisiah and Costia had been killed, and eventually Lexa had been taken as well. Indra had to endure losing them all, and she could hardly begin to imagine the mourning Indra suffered. Indra had watched the three grow from children to young women; girls who laughed and loved together, all taken by death too soon.

“Indra was never quite the same after she lost Nisiah. She hardened, but I still see the softness in her. She’s taken a terrible risk in harboring us against Roan’s demand to evict us from Polis, though.”

“Do you think she believes us about the Sanctuary? Or the radiation?” Clarke asked.

Lexa offered a mild shrug, “I’m not sure. But I know she trusts me and is willing to at least consider it. It is not an easy proposal to accept.”

“No it isn’t…” Clarke’s voice trailed off as she stared ahead of her. How would her people in Arkadia accept the idea, especially after what A.L.I.E had done? She then found her mind had wandered, and her thoughts came to rest on the fate of her mother’s medical convoy. They hadn’t even reached the village before the radiation swept through and annihilated the grounders there, but how could they have not even arrived _at all_? Considering how tenacious both her mother and Octavia were it was difficult to imagine what could have hindered them. Perhaps they had turned back and returned to Arkadia? Or maybe they had lost their way?

“Are you alright?”

Clarke blinked, pulled back from her reverie, and looked over her shoulder at Lexa. “Y-yeah, I’m alright. Just thinking about my mother’s convoy. Octavia was with her, too. Not knowing what happened… its-” she shook her head and took a deep, measured breath. “I hate not knowing. I’m worried.”

Lexa leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s bare tummy beneath the water. She gently drew her back, holding Clarke close against her chest before kissing her hair. “I know. Facing the uncertainty of our loves ones’ safety is difficult. However worrying cannot help them, or you for that matter.”

Clarke eased back against Lexa and welcomed her arms wrapped securely around her. “I know, I just don’t know what to do.”

“Right now there is nothing you _can_ do, Clarke. With Indra’s help we can get a better grasp of situation at hand, but it must wait at least until tomorrow. Regardless of what has happened, your worrying will not help them.”

Clarke nodded and choked back the tears she now felt stinging at her eyes. She pushed away the intrusive images of her mother and Octavia dead or lost in the wilderness, never to be seen again. She pushed away the ‘ _may we meet again_ ’ her mother had spoken before her departure, wondering if it had been the last she’d ever hear of her voice. She pushed it all away and instead focused on the sensation of the hot water soaking into her joints and the touch of Lexa’s bare skin against hers. Lexa was right; worrying would do nothing for her mother and Octavia now. All she had now was this moment.

“Would it be alright if we stayed here for a while?” Clarke asked, wiping a tear from her eye.  Lexa pressed her lips against Clarke’s hair before resting her cheek there. 

“War is hard on the body, Clarke,” Lexa said, holding her closer. “Take as much time as you need.”


	17. Chapter 17

 “So, what will we do until the council convenes?” Clarke twisted her damp blonde hair into the towel, wringing out moisture remaining from the bath.

“We wait.” Lexa slid between the thick fur blankets of the bed, her own hair still damp and pulled away from her face. “Indra said she would speak to Roan on our behalf, perhaps try to reason with him. She’s a proud warrior and doesn’t shy away from war, but I think even she understands the absurdity of this oncoming battle with Skaikru.”

_We wait._ The words grasped tight onto Clarke’s heart like a vise, causing her chest to grow heavy with thoughts of her mother and Octavia, still missing from the convoy. She imagined the deadly radiation, almost like a murky cloud looming in the closing distance, creeping towards them. She despised waiting, despised relinquishing control of the circumstances surrounding her and her loved one’s safety. Her nerves begin to itch, as if the anxiety were plucking away at them with each passing moment like strings on an instrument.

“Do you think Indra believes us? About the Sanctuary?”

Lexa rested her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. “I believe that she perhaps _wants_ to, but has her reservations. I can’t say I blame her.”

Neither could Clarke. The concept sounded crazy even to her, and she had seen the Sanctuary for herself. How could others possibly accept it? Especially when they are grounders and prone to distrust not only technology, but anything derived from A.L.I.E.?

“You’re doing it again,” Lexa said, a smirk growing on her lips.

Clarke hesitated. “Doing _what_ again?”

“You’re thinking too much.”

Clarke scoffed and tossed the damp towel towards their heap of dirty clothes. “How can you expect me _not_ to?”

“I don’t, that’s just who you are. You’re a worrier, always trying to fix things…” Lexa dragged back the blanket to expose the empty space beside her, her eyes still closed. “But I think you should take a break and just sleep instead.”

Clarke couldn’t help the smile now stretching across her lips. The anxiety eating away at her nerves began to wane the more she appreciated the moment; the world outside was bleak and uncertain, but here was Lexa, sleepy and eyes shut against her pillow, pulling back the blankets inviting her to bed. The outside world could wait.

\---

“A real bed,” Clarke sighed happily as she pulled over the thick, heavy fur blankets.

Lexa reached out beneath the covers and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist, pulling her closer. “It beats sleeping on the ground or in some dank cave.”

Clarke felt a sudden rush of fear chill her blood as she nestled closer to Lexa’s warmth. Her joints and muscles shuddered, and her throat grew tight against her quickening pulse. When she flickered her gaze up to Lexa’s face, she saw her green eyes looking back into hers; they were kind but ached with concern.

“What’s the matter?”

 Tears rose to sting at Clarke’s eyes as she shook her head, dismayed. “I’m not… used… to this.” Her voice trembled as she spoke.

“Not used to what?” Lexa placed her palm against her cheek and wiped away a descending tear.

Clarke hesitated. “Being happy. Having you, being together like this… every time I’d fall asleep to the dream of us together in your bed, I would wake up from the nightmare of seeing you die over and over again… You were gone and I’d lost you. I never thought-“

“-Clarke,” Lexa pulled closer and rested her forehead against hers. “ _I’m here now_. We’re here, _together_. I’m not going anywhere.”

Their lips met, and suddenly Clarke felt drawn in and lost in Lexa’s warmth. She hadn’t permitted herself to be happy, not like she was before in Lexa’s bed. The world was too cold, too unforgiving to feel any kind of real happiness or peace. But here she was now, pressed against Lexa’s skin, allowing herself to be enveloped in the warmth and happiness erupting from her chest.

Clarke lost herself in the taste of Lexa’s lips and tongue, in the sensation of Lexa’s fingers gripping her back and waist.

“I love you.” Lexa’s whisper sounded more like a prayer, uttered between heavy breaths and locked lips.

Clarke’s heart pounded hard against her ribs, a drumming throb that now she felt throughout her body. “I love you so much.”

\-----

Clarke awoke the next morning to the sounds of birds and falling raindrops. She shifted and sensed Lexa’s arm tighten around her waist, holding her softly from behind. Peeking one eye open, she glanced around the room and realized that it must have been at least the early afternoon. Lexa was still asleep and breathed steadily against the back of her neck. It sent delightful shivers down her spine.

Smiling, Clarke nestled back against her and soaked in the moment. The sounds of the chirping birds, the warmth of the bed and their bodies together, and the scent of Lexa’s skin and hair; even after their bath, Lexa still had an earthy scent to her that Clarke found herself craving. She wanted to wake like this every morning; this was true happiness.

A loud banging on the door jarred Lexa awake and nearly sent Clarke rolling from the bed.

“Commander, I need to speak with you.” Indra’s spoke through the door.

Lexa jumped naked from the bed and grabbed a robe hanging on the wall. Turning to Clarke, she offered an apologetic smile.

“Come in.” She stated, fastening the robe.

Indra entered and immediately took notice of Clarke, hid beneath the blankets from the nose down, and rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry for the… interruption, Commander. But I have some news.”

“What is it?”

“The council leaders have begun to arrive in Polis for the meeting tomorrow. Roan’s half-brother, Tiberius, has arrived with the Azgenda delegation. I overheard them speaking amongst one another.”

Lexa’s brow furrowed. “What did they say?”

“They were speaking about a recent campaign in which they had lost some highly skilled warriors.”

“A campaign against whom? Our coalition has united all the clans-“

“-they mentioned a convoy.” Indra’s words were sharp and heavy.

The room fell silent. Lexa’s gaze turned to Clarke as she sat up, pulling the blankets up to shield her bare chest.

“Was it the Skaikru medical convoy?” Clarke asked.

“I’m not sure, I was standing at a distance too far to hear more. It could have been a trade or supply convoy guarded by their warriors. However, considering Azgeda’s dislike for your people, it is not out of the realm of possibility.”

“Do you think Roan has any involvement in this?” Clarke asked.

Indra shook her head. “King Roan is a good man who detests war. He has and continues to work towards keeping peace throughout our lands. If the attack is linked to Azgeda, it is by Tiberius’ hand behind King Roan’s back.”

“Indra, I will need you to gather as much information as you can before the council convenes. If Azgeda had any hand in sabotaging the convoy to start a war, the council _must_ know,” Lexa said, her tone growing increasingly pointed.

“Yes, Commander. I will return this evening with whatever information I find.” Indra turned and departed, closing the door behind her as she left.

Lexa stood silent and staring into the distance, her eyes growing dark.

“Do you think Azega is capable of this? Even after Queen Nia’s death?”

“Oh yes,” Lexa turned and walked back to sit at the edge of the bed. “Tiberius loved Nia and always envied Roan for being her favorite, even in exile. He is capable of terrible things, just like his mother.”

“What will we do if our suspicions are right? If Tiberius and Azgeda really did sabotage my mother’s convoy to start this war?” Clarke swallowed hard at the thought of her mother and Octavia fighting off an Azgeda ambush.  

“If Tiberius is to blame…” Lexa turned and met Clarke’s gaze, her face had hardened. “… I will take pleasure in ending his life.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update- the past few weeks have been a little difficult. It's been hard to concentrate enough to write since the US election ended! But thank you for your patience and I will be sure to continue with my weekly updates going forward :)

Chapter 18:

“-A festival?” Clarke asked, glancing between Indra and Lexa. “Roan is holding a _festival_?”

The knock on the door that evening shattered what temporary peace the two women shared that day. Their time together had felt like a mixed blessing; on one hand Clarke cherished each quiet minute spent with Lexa, but there was a lingering unease that tarnished even their most peaceful moments. With each passing second the radiation crept closer to their doorstep, and the threat of war weighed heavy between them. Indra returned to them late that evening, the burden of her exhaustion etched across her weary face. The three now stood together in the dim light of the cabin with Indra’s announcement hanging thickly in the air.

“Yes, to welcome the clan delegations to Polis. King Roan wants to demonstrate the prosperity and strength of the capitol before the council convenes.” Indra sat on the floor and rested her back against the wall. Her lip curled into a snarl. “I’ve been running around all day preparing for these ridiculous festivities. I’m a general, not a goddamn errand servant.”  

Lexa crossed her arms and peered out the cabin window at the amber glow radiating into the night. The city was very much awake and alive, still preparing for the next day’s events. “It’s just a show for both the people and his brother, Tiberius.”

“Roan is the Steward of the coalition; his position already offers him political leverage. Why would he need to put on a show for them?” Clarke asked, turning her gaze to Lexa.

“These are uncertain times, Clarke. Roan knows that he is being pressured into a war with Skaikru and knows that the radiation is not something that will pass by, as many are beginning to believe. Tiberius holds considerable power in Azgeda, and I’m more than certain that Roan is uncomfortable with his presence here in Polis. With this festival, he is intending to project a show of power to those who threaten him the most- the council leaders, Tiberius, and even the people of Polis.”

“Should the council truly decide to declare war on Skaikru, Roan will need the support of the people. But the people are still tired from their struggle against A.L.I.E., they will need convincing,” Indra said as she rubbed her tired, aching eyes.

Clarke scoffed. “So he will win them over with a party. Lovely…”

“And Roan won’t even speak or meet with us,” Lexa’s anger rose to a growl as she spoke.

“Well then,” a grin grew across Clarke’s lips as her gaze met with Lexa. “We’ll have to _make_ him listen to us, won’t we?”

 

\------

 

Children darted past Clarke and Lexa as they pushed through the crowded Polis streets. A tattered shawl shrouded Lexa’s face from curious glances as they meandered closer to the main arena. The streets were lined with vendors and tables selling trinkets, jewelry, and various kinds of food to the throngs of cheerful Polis citizens. Clarke felt her stomach growl as the warm, sweet aroma of cooked meat drifted past her nose.

“Roan will be furious,” Lexa stated, tugging the shawl tighter across her face.

Clarke, the crimson commander’s cloak draped over her hair, shrugged with a grin. “Good, that’s the point. Go big, right?” She turned to meet Lexa’s gaze and saw in her emerald eyes that she was smiling.

The arena where Lexa speared Queen Nia and Jaha was executed now hosted the festival’s main events. As Clarke and Lexa pushed through the crowd to the roped-off boundary, they observed Roan and the other councilmembers, as well as Indra, seated on the stage. Their respective clan symbols hung proudly over each seated member except for Skaikru, whose chair remained vacant. Crowds outside the main arena were jeering as a jester, dressed as a Skaikru guard, stumbled around the arena like a fool, a heroic Trikru warrior close behind kicking and beating him.

Clarke watched the performance, her mouth agape. “What the hell is this?”

“If you are planning to go to war, wouldn’t you want to dehumanize your enemy first?” Lexa responded. She shook her head and dropped her gaze. “I wish I could say that I never engaged in this during my service as Heda, but I put on similar performances when our enemies were the Mountain Men. It is not something I am overly proud of.”

The Skaikru jester was knocked to the ground and skewered with a spear, red paper ribbons were tossed from his chest to represent his blood pouring onto the earth. The crowd went wild, cheering as the Trikru warrior hoisted his meaty fists triumphantly towards the sky.

“Enough of this nonsense.” Lexa took out her knife and dragged the blade across her finger to draw dark, black blood. She smeared the streaks of black under her eyes, marking her Heda war paint as if the motions themselves were from muscle memory. Clarke turned to her, her heart shuddering at noticing the dark pattern marking Lexa’s eyes; this was how she remembered Lexa when they first met in the tent outside Arkadia. Those dark, painted eyes had intimidated her when they first met, but watching her eyes now ignited a fire in her chest.

Clarke began to unwrap the crimson cloak from her hair, “You’ll need this-“

“-No,” Lexa reached out and rested her hand against the cloak. “You will need it. The people need to see you, too.”

Lexa ducked beneath the rope and strutted into the open arena, Clarke followed close behind. A guard rushed at them, and when he clasped his hand onto Lexa’s arm she responded with a swift elbow to his jaw. The guard, knocked out cold, collapsed hard at her feet. The commotion drew the crowd’s attention, and before another guard could reach her, Lexa slid the shawl from her face. What sounded to be a cacophony of gasps and cries of ‘Heda!’ rose from the surrounding throng of onlookers.

“ _My people_!” Lexa shouted in her native tongue, her arm rising towards the sky to silence them.

Roan leaned heavy against the back of his throne and turned a steeled glare to Indra. He remained silent behind the hot fury burning behind his eyes.

“ _Heda is alive_!” One onlooker cried out. “ _Our Heda is back from the dead_!” Another shouted.

Clarke glanced up at the stage and met with Roan’s fiery eyes before noticing the man lingering behind him. From the shadows emerge a towering figure with long, black hair, his broad shoulders draped in white furs. His cheeks were scarred with the Ice Nation’s brand, and his dark eyes rested on Lexa in the center of the arena. The grin curling at the corners of his lips sent a shiver down Clarke’s spine.

“ _Yes, I am your Heda! And I have returned from the dead to fulfill my obligation to you- my people!”_ Lexa continued to address the stunned crowd and gestured towards Clarke. “ _The Commander of Death as resurrected me to deliver this message to you: your leaders have failed and deceived you!_ ”

Roan leapt from his seat and stepped towards the edge of the stage, “ _Enough!”_

Lexa turned her gaze to Roan, a hot rage burning behind her eyes. “ _A cloud of death is approaching, and all will perish without Wanheda’s blessing! Your leaders know of this, yet sit here now like fools and prefer to instead distract you with a festival! Our tribes to the west have already succumb to the fate your leaders have doomed you to!_ ”

“ _That is enough, Lexa_!” Roan shouted.

The crowd grew angry and began to hurl jeers and insults towards the stage. Their shouting grew louder as the shadowy figure stepped forward beside Roan and gestured towards the center of the arena. Within seconds, heavily armed Azgeda guards swarmed around and seized them.

“Let go of me!” Clarke barked, yanking her arm away from the tight grasp of a guard. Her eyes darted around in a desperate search for Lexa when she caught sight of Indra on the stage, landing a strike across Roan’s jaw before being tackled to the floor.

“ _Heda_!” a woman’s cry pulled Clarke’s gaze around to see Lexa knocking a second guard to the ground. Dark blood trickled down her ear and jawline as she flipped another guard who tried to grab at her, but was soon overcome by three men. One guard elbowed her in the ribcage and sent her buckling forward onto her knees. Clarke’s heart dropped like a stone in her chest as she watched the guards drape a sack over Lexa’s head.

“Lexa, no!” Clarke cried out before another black bag was slid over her head, obscuring her sight. A blunt object cracked against the side of her skull and knocked her out cold, hearing only the screams of the crowd as she slipped away into darkness.


	19. Chapter 19

Clarke awoke to the sensation of her feet dragging along a cold, stony floor. The scent of her own breath lingered inside the bag still draped over her head as she was dropped hard onto a thin pile of damp straw.

“Where am I? Where’s Lexa?” Clarke’s voice croaked inside her dry throat as the bag was removed. Her eyes squinted against the growing ache pulsing in her skull, struggling to see through the darkness inside what appeared to be a small, dim prison cell. The two guards turned and exited without uttering a word, closing the iron door behind them to leave her in complete darkness.

Clarke searched blindly around her cell, her fingers groped along the damp stony ground and walls. Her heart began to race, her breath quickened, as panic began to settle onto her nerves. This was solitary confinement, and she was alone and helpless in the darkness. She imagined the walls creeping closer, boxing her tighter inside the cell. The radiation was approaching, and she was trapped here. Her people were going to be attacked, and she was trapped here. Lexa was taken away, and she was trapped here…

She felt her thoughts begin to spiral in the darkness when a voice whispered through the chaos of her mind: _Calm down, you can’t help anyone if you lose control now. Just… breathe…_

Clarke forced herself to stop fumbling blindly around her cell, closed her eyes, and began to steady her breath. The pulse rapping hard against her aching skull soon calmed, and her frenzied heart eventually settled inside her chest. She focused on her slow, deep breaths and listened to the distant echo of dripping water to ease her nerves. As her mind became clearer, the voice whispered to her again.

_The Sanctuary. Find me in the Sanctuary._

_\---_

When Clarke opened her eyes in the Sanctuary, she discovered herself standing alone in the middle of an empty Polis street. She glanced around, eyes tracing the vacant buildings and merchant shacks lining each side of the road, and realized that the city was completely empty. She could hear the wind passing through the alleys and buildings around her, but couldn’t hear any other sign of life besides her own heartbeat.  

“Well, this is new.” Clarke muttered to herself as she began to take cautious steps forward. A glint against the blue sky drew her attention, and she turned to see the Polis tower, it’s flame ignited, standing tall at the center of the city.

_The tower!_

She darted forward, sprinting through the empty streets towards the city center until she broke into a clearing. Her eyes trailed along the empty carts, merchant stands, and the cleared arena where they had been arrested until she caught sight of the tower’s base. A figure stood tall in the distance, their gaze lifted to the burning flame above. Clarke squinted her eyes against the sunlight and noticed the familiar braids, the red cloak hanging from the armored shoulder, and the long, dark coat that traced along the ground.

“Lexa!“

Lexa turned and watched Clarke run to her, and smiled as she opened her arms to embrace her when she approached.

“Welcome back to the Sanctuary, Clarke,” Lexa said, her arms still wrapped warmly around Clarke’s waist.

Clarke glanced around the empty city. “What is all of this?”

“Do you remember A.L.I.E.’s City of Light?” Lexa asked.

“I do.”

“How did it make you feel when you stood in its streets?”

Clarke hesitated. “It was… cold. Sterile. Foreign… everything was different and unsettling.”

“Exactly. A.L.I.E.’s City of Light was a construction of what _she_ wanted for our people, not what the people actually needed. While technically both the Sanctuary and the City of Light are artificial in their construction, I don’t want our world to feel that way.”

“So you rebuilt _all_ of Polis inside the Sanctuary?”

Lexa smiled, “I built this entire world, Clarke. And this is my city, I’ve walked each street countless times...” her gaze lingered over the cascade of empty buildings and carts. “I don’t want our people to be welcomed by the callous indifference of the City of Light when they pass over- I want them to feel welcome. I want them to feel like they’re coming home.”

“Home,” Clarke’s smile faltered. She remembered the medical convoy leaving Arkadia and the last touch of her mother’s hand on her face before departing. The anxiety of not knowing her mother’s or Octavia’s fate now rushed back and hit her hard in the chest.

“Really, you couldn’t add in basic electricity or plumbing when recreating this place?” Murphy’s voice broke through the quiet. The two women turned and watched him and Emori casually approach from around a corner.

“Murphy? Emori? What are you doing here?” Clarke asked, perplexed.

“Oh, don’t be so happy to see us, princess,” Murphy said.

“Heda gave us chips before you left the mansion and asked that we meet you two in Polis,” Emori said, nodding towards Lexa.

“And wouldn’t you know it? We arrived in just enough time to see you two get the shit kicked out of you in the arena. Quite a performance.”

Clarke smiled, relieved. “I’m glad you two took the chips. I would’ve figured you’d have your reservations.”

Murphy shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, the idea of uploading my brain into a giant computer doesn’t really appeal to me, but neither does dying.”

“Is what you two said in the arena true?” Emori asked. “Is the council really ignoring the radiation?”

Lexa clasped her hands behind her back. “Yes. I believe Roan understands the severity of the situation and knows he needs to act, but his brother Tiberius is pressuring both him and the council to ignore it.”

“What the hell for?” Murphy asked.

“We think Tiberius may have led a raid to attack against our medical convoy to prevent them from reaching the grounder village,” Clarke said. “So now in the eyes of the council, Skaikru has failed to meet our end of the deal in lifting the blockade around Arkadia.”

“Sounds like a Grade-A asshole,” Murphy groaned.

“So now Tiberius has a justification to go to war with and annihilate Skaikru. This convoy agreement was Skaikru’s last chance to prove themselves to the council, and they’ve failed. And if they are not an ally that they can depend on, they are the enemy,” Lexa said.

Clarke turned and glanced at Lexa, “Do you think he can? We have a defensive guard, watchtowers, guns…”

“Tiberius doesn’t care how many warriors he must sacrifice to be victorious. He will throw bodies at your walls until you’ve been overtaken and overrun. Arkadia needs to be warned and evacuated before his army can reach them.”

“We can go,” Emori said, gesturing at Murphy.

Lexa nodded and turned her gaze back to Clarke, “And you must go, too.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed, “What about you? You won’t come with us?”

“I can’t leave Indra behind. And someone must stay here for information. I can relay any plans I discover to you from here in the Sanctuary, maybe give you a head start on evacuation before it’s too late-”

“-No,” Clarke blurted out, shaking her head. “I can’t leave you, not again.”

Lexa remained calm. “You must.”

“Lexa, please.”

“The radiation is approaching, whether I am in this cell or with you in Arkadia. Nothing can stop that. But if I am here, I can at least gather information to help warn you of Tiberius’ plans while you distribute the chips and save our people.”

Clarke hesitated and stared into Lexa’s calm, confident eyes. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew Lexa was right. The chips needed to be distributed, and she couldn’t save any lives if she was stuck inside a jail cell.

“Word of your appearance in the arena spread like wildfire around Polis after your arrest. They’re saying that Wanheda has risen Heda from the grave,” Emori explained to Clarke. “We’ve already heard gossip of surrounding villages falling victim to a mysterious illness, and people have already begun to die. If Heda has promised salvation through Wanheda’s blessing, they will believe you and take the chip. If there is ever a time to begin distributing the chips, it’s now.”

“What if I stayed here and handed out the chips to the people while you warn Arkadia?” Clarke asked Murphy. “I can save more lives that way.”

He scoffed and crossed his arms. “You really think they’ll believe anything I tell them? They’ll think I’m crazy. Besides, if you stay here you’ll only be arrested and thrown back in here again.”

Lexa stepped forward and rested her hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “You must go to warn Arkadia, Clarke.  Once Tiberius’ army has departed Polis you must return and save as many as you can with what time we have left. We won’t have much time and many lives will be lost… but each saved is worth the effort.”

“And what will happen to you?” Clarke asked, her voice quieting almost to a whisper.

Lexa smiled warmly. “Regardless of what happens, Clarke, I’ll be here in the end. Waiting for you.”

 

\---

 

Clarke sat in the darkness of her damp, cold jail cell turning Lexa’s words over in her mind. She waited, her back pressed against the chilled stony wall, and listened to the drip of water on the stone slabs outside her iron door. She didn’t know whether it was day or night, or how many hours had passed since her arrest. Murphy and Emori were coming to retrieve her with guidance from Lexa on how to access the jail and avoid detection; on how to slip away and evade the guards to escape through the sewer passages. Lexa had walked them through the way in the Sanctuary Polis tower, all they had to do now was reach Clarke without detection.

Images flashed in her mind of Lexa in her cell, alone, waiting to be interrogated by Roan and Tiberius. She imagined what treatment awaited her after their escape, and the thought alone brought hot, burning tears to her eyes.

She brushed the falling tears from her cheeks and turned her gaze intently to the iron door. “Focus, Clarke. Focus.”

In what felt like endless hours later, Clarke heard the door’s lock crack. Torchlight poured into her dark cell as the door swung open. Murphy crouched low to the floor and glanced back at Emori who kept watch down the hall.

“Ready to go, princess?” He asked. “We’ve only got a few minutes to get out of here.”

Clarke trailed behind Emori and Murphy as they slipped through the dark passages of the tower’s basement. She glanced out from a small window in a passing cell and saw that it was just now dawn, and the sun was beginning to rise. The guards were changing shifts, and it wouldn’t be long before they discovered her missing from her cell.

The three dropped down into the sewers from an open drain and sprinted down the passageway, knowing that their time for escape was limited. The stench was unbearable, and Clarke covered her nose as she rounded a corner and discovered the grate in the distance.

_Almost there. We’re almost there._

“Hurry, come on!” Emori called out as she kicked the grate open with the bottom of her boot. They jumped into the open stream and muscled through the pulling current to the bank on the other side.

Jogging with soaked feet onto dry land, Clarke turned her gaze back to the Polis wall. She could hear shouting and what sounded like the vigorous ringing of a bell. Her eyes lifted to the flame burning brightly against the purple morning sky and felt her heart tighten like a vice in her chest.

_Lexa…_

“We gotta go, Clarke,” Murphy urged as he grabbed onto her arm, tugging at her anxiously. “Come on!”

Clarke broke her gaze and turned to dash into the thick forest brush behind Emori and Murphy, leaving the haunting echoes of alarm bells behind her.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a LONG chapter for me- more like two chapters combined (I didn't want to leave on a cliff-hanger!). Warning though, the 'violence' and 'torture' tags are on this story for this chapter in particular.

“Remove it.”

Lexa felt the black bag over her head tug briefly before it drew away. She sat on a metal chair, her wrists bound behind her and against the frame in a position that began to make her shoulders ache. When she opened her eyes, she discovered herself in the center of a tiny, dim interrogation room. Roan, Tiberius, and three Azgeda guards stood hovering nearby. She had been in this room before when she had been Heda, but under very different circumstances and with a very different set of people.

“Azgeda guards.” Lexa’s eyes traced along to each face marked with white war-paint and scars. “How strange that none of our own guards are here, don’t you think, Roan?”

Roan’s jaw grew taut. “I told you to leave. You disobeyed me and then openly criticized myself and the council.”

“I am not your subject to command,” Lexa snapped back, her words concise and biting. “Both you and the council have failed our people by casually dismissing the very thing that will bring an end to us all. You know I speak the truth.” Lexa’s gaze turned to Tiberius, who stood behind Roan in the furthest corner. “And as a leader, you mustn’t let those around you poison your reason.”

Tiberius stepped forward into the light, his arms crossing over his chest. A dark smile widened across his face. “Heda, you think me poison to my brother? I’m hurt, truly.”

“Where has Clarke kom Skaikru escaped to?” Roan asked, ignoring Lexa’s accusation and Tiberius’ banter. “If she is not here to pay for her insubordination, then all of Skaikru will be held accountable for her recklessness.”

Lexa turned her attention to Roan. “Has she escaped? I hadn’t known, I’ve been alone in my cell since the arrest.” She continued to face Roan but addressed Tiberius as she spoke. “And from what we watched play out in the arena, I’d hazard to guess that Skaikru has already been condemned, regardless of Wanheda’s actions. Sounds like an excuse to me.”

“Their medical convoy failed to reach the plagued village, rendering our agreement invalid,” Roan replied.

“Roan, you know how determined Kane was to prove himself to the council. He was ready to do whatever was necessary to prove Skaikru’s worth and join our coalition. Why would he purposefully sabotage his only chance and risk his people’s safety?”

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Tiberius interjected, stepping forward to place a reassuring hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Good intentions aren’t enough to fulfill obligations, and Skaikru must now accept their punishment. It’s our way, and you know that.”

Roan’s jaw remained taut as his brother spoke, yet Lexa noticed the furrow in his brow deepening. His body was rigid and stiff at Tiberius’ touch, and his eyes softened and looked remorsefully to Lexa.

“I’m sorry,” Roan uttered. “It must be this way.”

“Yes, it must.” Tiberius drew a dagger from his belt and tightened his grip on Roan’s shoulder. He pulled him close and thrust the blade deep inside his brother’s chest before retracting it to inflict a final, forceful plunge into Roan’s heart.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

Clarke stumbled out from the forest brush, straining to breathe after what felt like an eternity of running and ducking between tree trunks and low-hanging branches. Her heart pounded in her chest and her lungs burned with each breath of air.

Murphy shuffled his feet to catch up behind Emori, who had already run past them both. "Goddamn, are we there yet?"

Clarke lifted her gaze and saw the top of the compound’s arc cresting in the setting horizon. They needed to reach the gates before nightfall; guards had been known to shoot first, ask questions and for forgiveness later. She remembered Anya at that moment and shuddered.

“Almost, come on.”

They crossed the expanse of open field and approached Arkadia’s defensive perimeter. Through the fence, Clarke noticed that the compound was devoid of workers and instead only saw armed guards clutching onto their rifles, eyes scanning the horizon. She couldn’t remember there ever being that heightened security on the compound, at least not since…

Her heart dropped like a heavy stone in her chest, her blood ran cold.

_Not since we were at war with the Mountain Men._

As she rounded to the front gate, Clarke caught a glimpse of Octavia’s horse grazing on grass in the open lot. It looked worn and tired, the fur on its bare back still imprinted in sweat with the weight of a heavy saddle and a hard ride. She suddenly remembered her mother and the convoy, and that Octavia had taken her horse when she joined them.

“Open the gate!” Clarke barked up at the gate guard.

The guard glanced down from his watchtower, mouth agape. “Shit, Clarke? Murph? Where’ve you-“

“-Just let us in!”

The guard complied, and once Clarke could squeeze through the opening gate she darted to the closed metal door to the complex, ignoring the calls and shouting from the guards around her. She burst inside and continued down the hall, eyes frantically searching in each passing doorway for her mother or Octavia’s face.

“Clarke?”

She turned to see Raven, her eyes red and puffy, standing alone down the corridor. She looked exhausted and seemed frailer than when Clarke last saw her.

Clarke approached her. “Raven, what’s happened?”

Raven hesitated, shaking her head with tears in her eyes. “I-I’m sorry. It’s Abby, she… Clarke, I…” The words caught in her throat and she fell silent.

“Where is she? Where’s mom?”

\---

Tiberius released his hold around Roan’s body to allow it to drop, lifeless and heavy, to the stone floor at his feet. Lexa glanced down at Roan’s open, empty eyes for a moment before straightening her posture, ignoring the ache now in both her shoulders and wrists.

“You’re transparent, Tiberius,” her voice was unshaken and dignified.

“Am I?” he responded, amused, before nudging Roan’s dead body with the side of his boot. “What gave me away, _Heda_?”

“Getting Roan alone with only you, your guards, and I… you kill him and pin his murder on me, the political rival who just openly ridiculed his leadership for all to see… Your guards will serve as witnesses to the council, and with Roan out of your way you can take his place. You are transparent.” Lexa fixed a steeled glare at him. “But Roan’s death was sealed since you arrived in Polis, I know that for certain. You put it all in motion by sending an ambush party to sabotage Skaikru’s convoy. I merely gave you the opportunity you were looking for to dispose of your brother.”

Tiberius smiled and wiped the stained blade on Lexa’s cheek, smearing Roans blood down to her chin. Lexa remained still, denying him the pleasure of seeing her wince or shy away from the warmth now trailing down her neck.

Her training had prepared her for interrogations, and she’d experienced much worse at the hands of Anya, Gustus, and Indra when she was a nightblood. She remembered Anya striking her across the jaw when she was only seven years old; she had cried and cradled her face, unable to take the pain. Anya then took her aside from the other nightbloods and wiped the tears from her face.

“ _Don’t ever let them see you cry_ ,” she’d said. “ _And don’t you dare ever give them the satisfaction of seeing you suffer_. _Ste yuj_.”

Tiberius slid the blade back into his belt. “Obviously death hasn’t dampened that brain of yours. You always were quite clever, more so than your predecessors. But I suppose I should thank you for making this easy for me.”

“Am I also correct in assuming that Roan’s death was to play into your war against Skaikru? First the convoy ambush, then setting up the murder to look like an assassination?”

Tiberius smiled and clapped his hands together. “Very astute. But please understand that war with Skaikru isn’t _personal_ \- it’s just business. Roan was a weak leader and the council needs a stronger hand for guidance.” Tiberius crouched down and leveled his dark eyes with hers. “They’re an easy target, and nothing unifies a nation like a common enemy. You did the same with the Mountain Men, did you not?”

Lexa felt her anger begin to mount, and her lips curled into a snarl as she spoke. “The Mountain Men kidnapped, enslaved, and killed our people. Skaikru has done nothing wrong-“

“-Oh shut up, will you? Don’t dismiss their sins and pretend to care when you only defend them to protect your _Wanheda_.”

“Even if you do have your war and are victorious, you won’t survive the radiation. You’ll all be dead by the month’s end.”

Tiberius let out a deep laugh before patting Lexa’s knee with his hand. “Perhaps. But you know that our people were born underneath the mushroom clouds of destruction, and emerged stronger. Who is to say this will be our end?”

Lexa remained silent in her burning anger. Each grounder child had heard the stories, about how their people had endured the death of the world and arose from its ashes. Their people were chosen; they were survivors when others perished. She couldn’t argue his reasoning, as misguided as it may be, not when this had been their only narrative since birth.

Tiberius remained kneeling in front of her, his eyes scanning her face with a dark curiosity. “You know, I’ve been so focused on my plan here in Polis that when I saw you in that arena…“he chuckled and shook his head. “Well, to say it was a surprise is an understatement. Hell, I saw the smoke from this very tower when they burnt your corpse. So how is it that you’re here now, I wonder?”

“I’m resourceful,” Lexa replied matter-of-factly.

“ _Resourceful_.” Tiberius grinned and reached into the pocket inside his coat. When he withdrew his hand, a blue Sanctuary chip was clasped delicately between his fingers. He held it up in front of Lexa’s face. “Resourceful enough to use A.L.I.E.’s technology, I see.”

\---  

Abby was the first person Clarke saw when she rushed inside the medical bay. She rested in the narrow bed with the sheets pulled up to her chest. Clarke couldn’t see the extent of her mother’s injuries except for what she saw etched across her face, which was now bruised and marked with cuts and abrasions.

“Oh god…” Clarke stepped closer and clutched her hand across her mouth. Her eyes welled with tears as she knelt beside the bed. “Mom?”

Abby peeked one bloodshot eye open, and upon seeing Clarke approach tried to sit up to embrace her. Her arms, weak and trembling, couldn’t support her weight and she laid back down, tears filling her eyes.

“Clarke, I’m sorry,” Abby said, her voice weak and tired. “We were on the road, riding to the village… I don’t know what happened. There was fire, a-and screaming…”

“Shh, it’s okay…” Clarke sat beside Abby and gently cradled her cheek. “Everything’ll be fine. Just lay still.” Clarke lifted her eyes from her mother’s face and saw Kane sitting in the corner, his eyes just as red as Raven’s from what looked to be hours of crying. “Kane, what happened?

“Those Azgeda bastards had us surrounded.” Octavia entered with a limp into the medical bay before Kane could respond. A red-stained bandage wrapped around her head, covering a wounded eye, and various minor wounds covered her exposed skin. “Abby took an arrow to the gut and I got her out before the main party broke through our defense. We had to stay off the roads to avoid being tracked, but…” she swallowed hard, her jaw tautened. “I wasn’t quick enough bringing her back.”

_Internal bleeding_. Clarke knew that an arrow could be removed, and the open wounds closed, but internal bleeding could still claim a life. It was a slow death… and painful. Clarke reached into her jacket pocket and traced her fingers along the handful of blue Sanctuary chips resting there.  

“Clarke,” Abby reached and took Clarke’s other hand. “Will you stay here with me?”

A tear rolled down Clarke’s cheek when she nodded. “Of course I will, mom.”

\----

Tiberius rotated the blue chip between his thick fingers. “This looks awfully familiar, doesn’t it?” He stood and turned his back to Lexa. “Wait, what was it that you said this was in the arena? _Wanheda’s blessing_?” He laughed and began pacing the length of the room. “How ridiculous… do you really think that no one would recognize this from the woman in the red dress?”

Lexa fixed her gaze on the tiny object. “Where did you get that?”

“I guess Wanheda decided to give one to Indra before your little stunt in the arena,” Tiberius replied. “I wonder what would happen if I took it instead? I’d like to see what’s on the other side.”

Lexa launched from the ground, her arms still bound to the back of the metal chair underneath her, and landed a solid kick into Tiberius’ gut. The chip slipped from his fingers as he buckled forward and dropped in a pool of blood beside Roan’s lifeless body. She twisted and cracked one approaching Azgeda guard with the side of the metal chair, knocking him in the groin with a metal leg; the second lunging guard she head-butted, breaking his nose with a loud snap.

Before the third guard could subdue her, Lexa lifted her foot and drove her heel hard into the chip, shattering it to pieces against the bloody stone. A fist across the jaw knocked her to the ground with the chair still bound tight to her arms. She tasted the metallic bite of blood against her tongue.

Tiberius, his lips downturn in a scowl, crouched down to retrieve a broken blue piece of shard. He dropped the piece and lifted his gaze, eyeing Lexa across the room.

“You were saying?” Lexa said, a grin curling at the corners of her lips.

“I have a mind to just kill you now, but I have a feeling that you’d only come back again. Like a goddamn cockroach,” Tiberius growled as he approached her. He pressed the bottom of his boot against her face, trapping her head against the ground. Lexa closed her eyes and recalled Anya’s words from when she was a child.

“- _don’t you dare ever give them the satisfaction of seeing you suffer_.”

Tiberius was right about killing her, she _could_ just return again at the mansion. He could kill her there in that cramped interrogation room and she could be reborn again in a matter of hours. The longer she pondered the idea, the more she was tempted to incite his rage further to make it happen. But she couldn’t leave Indra to bear his fury alone; she had to at least stay for her.

She remembered when she first gasped for air inside the capsule, eyes opened and animated again. One hand had reached out to press against the damp plastic lining of the capsule, the other clutched at her bare chest to feel her new heart, beating hard and fast against her ribs. She had laid there, trembling and taking in the sensation of the lining against her fingertips, reveling in being alive, _truly_ alive, until she heard a familiar voice.

_Clarke_.

“I know that it’s all connected: your return, Wanheda, A.L.I.E., those fucking chips.” His boot pressed harder against her face. “I have spies, my own eyes and ears, everywhere. Your little secret won’t last long, especially once Skaikru is out of the picture.”

“You won’t get any information out of me.”

“Of course I won’t, you’re too strong to break. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try.” He lifted his foot from her cheek and knelt down near her.

Lexa lifted her chin and spat thick, black blood into his face. “Before this ends, you will die with my blade across your throat. And the last thing you will see is me watching the light leave your eyes.”

Tiberius wiped the blood from his face, the grin across his face widening. “Mm, sounds intimate. I look forward to it.”

\---

The dim lights in the medical bay offered a warm glow through the darkness as Clarke and Kane sat on either side of Abby’s bed. She’d been asleep for almost an hour now, and Clarke could only manage to sit and stare down at her, her fingers resting along her mother’s wrist to count her pulse.

“I was up in the guard tower when we first saw them,” Kane’s voice broke through the thick silence. His throat sounded dry and hoarse. “I heard someone call out their distance and direction, but when I looked… all I saw was Octavia and her horse.” Clarke looked at him, but his eyes remained fixed on Abby. “And then I saw her… on the saddle behind Octavia, just holding on for dear life. You could see how pale she was from that far of a distance.” His words cracked and choked as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“You’ve done all you could,” Clarke said. “You did the right thing bringing everyone in and adding security outside.”

Kane shook his head. “After all that’s happened since we’ve reached the ground, how could we not? I’ve always been ready for some kind of attack.” He reached out and took Abby’s hand into his own. “I’m just not ready to lose her.”

Neither was Clarke. She grew acutely aware of the blue Sanctuary chips resting in her pocket, and wondered when the time would come that she would have to administer one to Abby, at least before it was too late. Now wasn’t the time, not with Kane here with her. He wouldn’t understand, not yet. He wouldn’t be leaving her side that night, and neither would Clarke. She eventually fell asleep lying beside Abby, holding warmly to her hand.

When Clarke opened her eyes again she was standing back in the Sanctuary’s Polis tower’s throne room. She approached the empty throne and traced her fingers along the smooth wooden armrest.

_Soon this will be over, and we’ll all be here. Together and safe_ …

She lifted her gaze and scanned the empty room. Walking forward, she peeked her head out the doorway and glanced down both ends of the hall. “Lexa?”

Clarke had remembered the way to Lexa’s bedroom from her previous time in Polis, and her feet began walking there almost as if from muscle memory. Lexa and her had finally come together and made love in that room, and Clarke couldn’t ever remember being any happier in her life than at that very moment. But after seeing Lexa shot and killed in front of her very eyes only moments after, the memory felt tarnished and cold. With Lexa back in her life the moment had grown to be bittersweet, and Clarke couldn’t quite define what exactly she was feeling when she pushed the door to the bedroom open.

“Lexa?”

Lexa laid there on the bed, curled into a ball and clutching a pillow. Her breath was heavy, and she covered her face with her hands to mask her silent tears. Clarke rushed to the bed and crawled to reach Lexa and take her into her arms.

“Oh my god, Lexa…” Clarke tucked her dark hair behind her ears and examined her face. Lexa barred no markings, bruises, or cuts, but she could plainly see that she was in pain. Clarke then remembered back to when she was in the City of Light how the distress that her physical body felt was expressed in her mind. “What’ve they done to you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lexa said, her voice was weary.

“Of course it matters! They’ve tortured you…” Clarke stated, almost to herself, as she caressed Lexa’s cheek.

Lexa smiled weakly. “I’ve experienced worse. And once I’m no longer tied to my physical body it won’t matter. I’m fine, Clarke. Really.” She wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and pulled her closer, wincing from an invisible ache. “I was worried about you. I wasn’t sure if you’d made it back to Arkadia.”

“I wasn’t sure we would, either. But we’ve confirmed that Azgeda sprung the ambush. My mom, she…” Clarke hesitated and suppressed the tears welling in her eyes. “… she took a beating. She has another day left, maybe two.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke… no one wants to see the ones they love suffer. You must give her the chip to save her before its too late. She’ll be safe here in the Sanctuary.” Clarke nodded, affirming that she would. “Tiberius is readying his army to attack Arkadia. I don’t know when, but I know it will be soon. And he knows about the chips and A.L.I.E., I’m not confident that his conquest will end with Arkadia’s destruction.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed at hearing this. “Do you think he’ll go after the mansion?”

Lexa shook her head. “I’m not sure. But your priority must be to distribute those chips, first to Arkadia before Tiberius arrives and in Polis when he is gone.”

“I can’t stand the thought of you in that prison, Lexa… I wish you were here with me.”

Lexa smiled against the pain in her eyes and ran her fingers through Clarke’s golden hair. She pulled her down for a warm, tender kiss before playfully nudging her forehead with her own. “I _am_ with you, Clarke. I’m right here.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! The holidays took a huge chunk of time. Happy 2017 :)

Clarke awoke to the sensation of urgent tugging at her sleeve. She peeled open her eyes and discovered Kane hovering over her, his weary eyes darkened from sleeplessness.

“Clarke, you need to come with me.”

“What’s the matter?” she asked in a hushed whisper. Abby still slept beside her, the rise and fall of her breathing chest becoming shallower and strained.

Kane’s brow furrowed when he pulled the blue Sanctuary chip from his pocket, clasping it delicately between his fingers. Clarke’s heart stopped, and when she slid her fingers into her jacket pocket she discovered the chip was missing.

“We need to talk. **Now**.”

\---

“This is all crazy. Utterly _insane_ ,” Kane scoffed and offered a dismissive gesture. He paced back and forth in the cafeteria, his footfalls clicking against the concrete beneath him. “To bring _this_ -“ He fumbled with the blue chip in his hand.”- to our doorstep after all that A.L.I.E.’s done, after what we’ve been through trying to clean up the mess she made…“

“It isn’t like that, not anymore.” Clarke shook her head and suppressed the frustration churning in her chest. “A.L.I.E. is gone, but we can still use her technology- without the loss of control, without the loss of choice or what makes us human, we can save ourselves. And there isn’t much time left.”

“Emori and I can vouch for it, Kane. We’ve both taken the chips and saw it for ourselves. As bat-shit crazy as it sounds, she’s telling the truth,” Murphy interjected.

Emori leaned against Murphy, her face pale and damp with sweat. “Especially that ‘not much time part’…” She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath in an effort to hold back an urge to vomit. “Not sure how long till you Skikru start feeling this, but I can tell you it’s pretty damn awful.”

Clarke’s heart sank when she recalled A.L.I.E.’s warning, that while Skaikru could survive longer than the grounders due to their radiation exposure in space, they would still perish. Their fate, however prolonged, was still inevitable. The radiation had reached Arkadia, and Emori was already feeling it- how long until it reached Polis?

Kane shook his head. “Convincing our people to take this chip, after what’s happened, will be impossible. You know that.”

“We don’t have any other choice, Kane.” Clarke’s words were pointed and heavy. “We don’t have the luxury of hunkering down in some bunker like the Mountain Men did, or rocketing ourselves into space like our ancestors. We can’t outrun this! We only have this-“she gestured to the chip in Kane’s hand. “- or _extinction_. Even Indra set aside her doubt and trusted us, surely you can too.”

Octavia, who had been lurking in the corner, perked up at the name. "Indra? She helped you?"

Clarke turned her gaze to Octavia, her eyes softening. "Yes. She hid Lexa and I when Roan ordered us out of Polis and stood by us when we publicly challenged him."

Octavia's eyes turned dark. "You did _what_?" She approached Clarke, her anger radiating. "Insubordination carries a death sentence! What were you thinking bringing Indra into this?"

"She's alive, Octavia," Clarke insisted. "She's alive and with Lexa in the Polis tower prison. And she helped us willingly, no one forced her hand."

Octavia stepped closer to Clarke and stared angrily into her eyes. "Indra is a warrior. And a warrior deserves a better death than what's waiting for her in that goddamn prison." She lingered for a moment in the silence before turning to stride away, leaving the cafeteria behind her.

Kane’s cheeks flushed red with anger as he parted his lips to speak, but was cut short by Bellamy's burst through the open set of doors. He panted, out of breath.

“Guys, something’s wrong with Abby.”

The next few moments felt like a blur for Clarke, who suddenly found herself sprinting through the Ark’s corridors to her mother’s side. She found Abby thrashing on the bed against Raven, who struggled to hold her shoulders down onto the mattress. White foam bubbled from her blue lips, and only the whites of her eyes could be seen through her opened eyelids.

“Oh god, she’s seizing,” Kane bolted for a nearby metal tray to retrieve a syringe filled with clear liquid.

“I-I don’t know what happened, she was fine and then-“ Raven stammered as Kane rushed in to plunge the needle into Abby’s arm. Her thrashing gradually subsided, leaving her to lay limp and still on the bed.

“Mom? Mom, can you hear me?” Clarke wiped the foam from her mother’s lips and cradled her cheek in her palm. No response. Clarke slid her fingers down to her mother’s throat and felt the weak pulse begin to slow. “She’s dying-“ She glanced up at Kane, tears welling in her eyes. “-Kane, give me the chip.”

Kane hesitated, his gaze lingering on Abby’s pale face.

“Kane!” Clarke shouted. She outstretched her hand. “She’s dying, give me the chip!”

“It isn’t right,” Kane’s voice cracked in his throat. “You’re not giving her the chance to choose for herself.”

Tears rolled down Clarke’s flushed cheeks, her hand remained outstretched. “Kane, I am _begging_ you. Give me the chip. This is the only way she’ll make it, the only way she’ll have another chance at the life she deserved but never got. **Please**.”

Clarke knew that there were other chips available in the Ark, brought there by Bellamy and Raven when the group had gone their separate ways, but what if she couldn’t reach them in time to save Abby? She was terrified to leave her mother’s side now, frozen in fear that parting to even retrieve one chip could mean losing her mother forever.

Kane shook his head, his brow furrowing. “No. It isn’t right.”

“Do you remember what you said to me when we were on our way back from Polis? You apologized for not trusting me about the radiation, and that we could find a way to get through this _together_. You didn’t trust me then, but I’m asking you to trust me now, for the sake of all of us. Please.”

A tense silence hung between them, and time seemed to suspend. Kane couldn't break his gaze from Abby, tears filled his eyes and rolled down his cheek through his beard. He reluctantly outstretched his hand and dropped the chip into Clarke’s palm before turning away.

Clarke slid the chip between her mother’s lips. “Come on, mom…”

Kane knelt beside Abby and placed his palm against her hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered through his tears.

\---

The ears on Octavia’s horse rotated towards a cracking noise in the distance as it trotted down a dark, wooded trail. Octavia turned and peered over her shoulder, ignoring the ache in her ribs and back from the wounds that had yet to heal. She’d been riding for at least an hour now, and her depth perception was shot due to the bloodied bandage still covering one injured eye. Darkness draped the forest surrounding her, and as she pulled her horse to a stop, she reached back to clasp onto the hilt of her sword.

Unsheathing the blade, she braced herself against the sound of trotting, advancing hooves. She was alone and still injured from the Azgeda ambush, but would be damned to die without honor. Her muscles tensed as the hooves approached, and through the darkness she squinted to see a figure ride up to her:  Bellamy.

Octavia rolled her eye and re-sheathed her sword. “The hell are you doing here, Bell?” She turned her horse and continued down the trail, ducking low-hanging branches as they passed.

“They told me you’d left after hearing about Indra,” Bellamy explained, shifting uncomfortably on the saddle as he rode beside her. He hadn’t been the best rider, and his awkwardness at the reins was apparent even through the thick darkness. “I know what you’re doing and can’t let you do it alone.”

Octavia scoffed. “I don’t need your help.”

“Obviously you do, you’re still busted up from that ambush aren’t you? Come on, I wanna help.”

“Like you helped Lincoln?” Her jaw tautened against the bitterness of her words. Bellamy fell silent as the two continued to ride beside each other. Octavia swallowed hard and suppressed the tears stinging at her eyes. “She’s all I have left, Bell. I can’t lose her, too.”

“I won’t let that happen,” he said, turning his gaze to meet with Octavia’s. “I promise.”

Octavia shook her head with a scowl. “Your promises mean nothing to me.”

\---

Clarke stared silently over her mother, whose chest now remained still and unmoving, no longer taking in even a shallow breath. Kane cradled his face in his palms, his elbows propped against his knees, and wept.

“Clarke-“ Raven choked, tears running down her cheeks. “Did she make it? To the Sanctuary, is Abby there?”

Clarke closed her eyes and rested her forehead down to rest on her mother’s belly. Her body was growing colder with each passing minute, but she refused to release the hold she had on her mother’s hand. She felt tears stream down her nose and onto sheet covering Abby’s body and tried to focus through the numbing grief now saturating her mind.

“ _She’ll be safe here in the Sanctuary_ ,” Lexa had said. The words, however encouraging, made her nerves stand on-edge. What if she hadn’t made it in time? Clarke had to focus, had to cross over to the Sanctuary to search for her mother- had to find her.

Clarke felt the warm sun against her skin as she opened her eyes, squinting against the sun’s rays. She was standing on a stone path in the Polis streets surrounded by tall concrete walls, empty merchant carts lined the road on either side. All was quiet and still until, from a distance, a voice carried across the wind. Clarke broke into a sprint towards the voice, hearing it grow clearer and more distinct as the drew nearer.

“Is someone here?” the woman’s voice called out. “Hello?!”

Clarke rounded a corner and found Abby standing near an empty cart, her eyes lifted to the sky. Her hand shielded the sun from her eyes as she turned to meet Clarke’s gaze.

“Clarke?” She asked, bewildered. “What the hell’s going on?”

Clarke sprinted up to her mother, and with a glowing smile reached out and embraced her. “Oh, it is such a long story I’m not sure where to start.” She peeled away from her mother’s arms and took a breath. “Just give me a quick second, okay?”

Abby shook her head, confused. “I don’t understand, wha-“

Clarke opened her eyes in the infirmary and lifted her head to meet Kane’s puffy, red eyes. Kane jerked back, alarmed by Clarke’s abruptness. She smiled. “She’s there. Abby’s in the sanctuary, she’s alright.”

“Oh, thank god…” Raven breathed and rested her hands on her knees.

Kane glanced back to Abby’s pale face and frowned at noticing the increasingly blue hue to her lips and sickly pale skin. Dropping his gaze, he offered a deep, heavy sigh. Of relief or exasperation, Clarke couldn’t tell, until he then lifted his eyes to meet hers. He looked defeated and tired.

“I wanna see her.” His voice cracked in his throat. “Take me to see Abby.”

\---

A guard peered out the window of the Polis tower prison and noticed the sun begin to rise. His shift would be ending soon, and he offered a tired, drawn-out yawn at the hours spent on his aching feet. He turned back towards the corridor and was met with a solid blow to the head with the butt of Bellamy’s rifle. The guard dropped hard to the floor at their feet, dazed and clutching desperately at his fractured jaw.

Octavia crouched down and pressed her cold blade against his throat. “ _If you want to live, you will_ _take me to Indra kom Trikru. Now._ ” she spat through bared teeth in trigedasleng.

The guard complied and led them, his palms clutched against his bleeding jaw, through the winding passages of the tower’s prison. Their sopping feet left wet footsteps against the stone floor, having trudged through the outside stream and sewers to infiltrate the tower.

Having reached Indra’s cell door, Bellamy raised his rifle and knocked the guard against the head again. The guard fell, unconscious and limp, to the floor.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that he’s all alone here?” Bellamy asked as he threw the rifle over his shoulder. “Where are all the other guards?”

“Doesn’t matter, I only care about getting Indra outta here,” Octavia stated flatly. She swung open the door and pulled a lit torch from the wall. She pointed the flame into the dark room and discovered Indra sitting against the far wall, squinting against the brightness of the fire.

“ _Is that Octavia_?” Indra asked, her voice hoarse against her dry throat.

Octavia smiled and stepped into the cell to kneel at Indra’s feet. “ _Yes, I’ve come to free you. We have to get out of here before more guards arrive_.”

“ _I’m not leaving without my commander_ ,” Indra stated as Octavia helped her to her feet. She wobbled, weakened and thinner than Octavia remembered her.

Bellamy frowned and looked anxiously around him. “I can’t understand a damn word y’all are saying, but we gotta hurry up out of here.”

Indra turned her steeled gaze at Bellamy and spoke in clear English. “I will not leave without Lexa.”

The three wandered around the prison corridors and peered into each closed iron door. Minutes passed, and their footfalls echoed down the vacant halls. Glancing around corners and down the hallway, Bellamy shook his head and took a deep breath.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this. Where is everybody?”

“I found her,” Octavia stated, her eyes looking through a thin slant of a nearby door. “She looks pretty banged up…”

\---

Lexa laid on the cold stone floor of her cell, dazed and broken in the darkness. She breathed against the ache radiating through her body, pulsing in the spots where Tiberius’ knuckles had left their mark. She couldn’t move her shoulders or legs, and her eyes felt swollen and sore as she peered through the darkness at a bright light now approaching her.

Sounds were muffled, as though she were submerged deep in water, and her vision blurred against the three figures now standing over her. She imagined one of those figures with blonde hair and blue eyes, welcoming her with a warm smile and touch against her cheek.

_Clarke…_

She couldn’t move, couldn’t bear to fight against the arms now sliding beneath her to hoist her from the icy ground. She now rested in the arms of a warm body, of whom she didn't know. She felt the air pass by her cheeks, inaudible voices reaching through the haze, as she was carried away from the darkness. Time passed, for how long, though, she couldn’t tell. Closing her eyes against the blinding sunlight, Lexa felt the cool water of the stream outside the prison walls kiss her aching skin. She could smell the fresh earth, the wood of the forest, and heard the chirping of birds as she lost consciousness.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the long wait! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Lexa awoke to the sensation of a cool breeze against her cheek and soft moss beneath her fingertips. She shifted and felt the bending of tree bark against her back, and breathed in the fresh scent of earth and dirt. Opening her eyes, she squinted against the warm sun breaking through the tree canopy above her.

Every bone, every limb in her body ached and radiated hot with pain, yet she’d experienced worse before. She would survive this. Tiberius had beaten her for hours in his attempt to flush out the location of A.L.I.E.S.’ mansion, but she’d remained silent, defiant against his fists. Before she’d lost consciousness, she recalled spitting black blood in his face and reveled in the small comfort his disgust brought her. She cracked a smile and winced as she turned her head to glance up the tall tree behind her. The breeze pushed aside the branches above her and revealed a streak of red smoke creasing across the blue sky.

_A funeral pyre. Roan’s funeral pyre… Tiberius must’ve usurped the coalition by now._

She heard vomiting in the distance, and felt her body protest when she braced against the tree trunk to stand. Unsteady on her feet, Lexa stepped tree to tree, hand pressing against the bark for balance, towards the sound.

“Here, try to drink some water.”

 _Octavia_.

Lexa entered a clearing and found Indra hunched over a hedge, her hands braced against her knees, taking deep, measured breaths. Octavia stood beside her, her hand resting on Indra’s back.

“I’m fine,” Indra pushed away the canister of water extended in Octavia’s grasp and wiped her lips. Her balance wavered as she rose and looked over her shoulder to watch Lexa approach. “Heda, it’s good to see you up and walking.”

Lexa offered a nod and turned her attention to Octavia, who she saw staring at her with a darkness lingering in her eyes. “You have my thanks.”

“You can keep your thanks. I came for Indra,” Octavia’s words were pointed and heavy.

Lexa held Octavia’s cold glare, unwavering, and addressed Indra in Trigedasleng. “ _Are you unwell?_ ”

“ _I’ve been worse, Commander_ ,” Indra’s voice sounded hoarse in her throat, and her skin glistened with sweat in the sunlight. Of course, she would never admit to her suffering, would always downplay the severity of her true condition. But Lexa knew, by the fever breaking on her forehead and vomiting, that the radiation was beginning to take hold, and they were running out of time.

The rapping sound of approaching footsteps, snapping against twigs and fallen leaves, drew the three women’s attention into the distant brush. Octavia reached for her sword when Bellamy thundered into the clearing, gasping for breath and clutching his rifle.

“We’ve got a problem.”

\---

Lexa hobbled behind Bellamy, wincing and fighting back the urge to hiss through her teeth with each agonizing step. He had offered to be a helping hand up the hill, but she had refused. Indra had also declined his help, yet the two had kept pace with both Octavia and Bellamy during their ascent to his lookout.

And then she heard it, the sound that she’d spent her life learning to cherish: her army. She could hear their voices, the echo of their swords and steel clashing as they trained, and the bellow of the battle horn; it carried across the wind and twisted at her heart the nearer they drew. It was bittersweet music to her ears.

When they approached the precipice of the cliff, Indra and Lexa faltered. Their army stretched out across the valley, encamped and preparing for war. Torches scattered amongst the clusters of tents and huts as what appeared to be thousands of men dispersed about in small groups, training and sparring with one another. They laughed and jeered, playfully clobbering one another, excited for battle.

“Heda…” Indra’s voice trailed off as she stared, disbelieving, across the valley. “Our men…”

A sudden rage churned in Lexa’s chest. She felt her body tense and grow hot with fury burning through her veins. She wanted to charge into the camp and storm into Tiberius’ tent. She wanted to slit his throat and watch the light leave his eyes. She wanted to reclaim her army, to take her rightful place as their commander once again. But she would have to be patient; in her current state she doubted she could even make it through his Azgeda guard.

“We must leave. Now,” she said, forcibly swallowing her hatred. “Tiberius intends to unleash the power of the entire coalition on Arkadia before the week is through. We must stay ahead of them.”

Bellamy shook his head, dismayed. “Even if we get back in time, we don’t have the resources to defeat an army this size.”

“We’re all dead anyway,” Octavia said, her voice heated in anger. She turned and began her descent back down the hill. “Might as well go out with a bang, right?”

The rest followed, disappearing into the thick forest where they had emerged. Nearby, a black raven broke through the wooded canopy, soaring high above the encampment of soldiers. It began to descend through the billowing smoke of torches and bonfires, and soon came to land on a perch imbedded in the soft, muddy earth outside the command tent.

Tiberius emerged from the tent at hearing the raven’s arrival and raised his hand to pet the bird’s wings. He untied the scroll fastened to the raven’s leg and unraveled it, reading the words etched in ink. His eyes lifted from the scrap of paper to the nearby cliff. A smile curled at the corners of his lips as he crumbled the scroll in his fist and dropped it to the muddy ground beneath him.

\---

Indra dropped from the horse’s saddle and fumbled into the wood line to vomit. It had been her second time demanding they halt the horses during their hard ride back to Arkadia, and the fact that Indra had made them stop at all was enough to emphasize how serious it was.

“I got her,” Bellamy hopped off the horse he shared with Lexa and extended his arm to Octavia, who had slid off her horse to follow her mentor. Octavia was exhausted, and Bellamy could see the fatigue beginning to weigh on her. “Just, take a breather, okay?”

Octavia hesitated but acquiesced, allowing her brother to follow Indra into the brush with a canteen of water. When Lexa slid off the horse, the glower they exchanged was dark and heated.

Lexa stood tall, her spine erect despite the ache it brought her. “If there is something you’d like to say to me behind that poorly veiled anger of yours, I suggest you speak your mind.”

Octavia’s jaw grew taut. “I’d rather not.”

“For Indra’s sake?” Lexa asked, her voice steady.

“Not for Indra, for Clarke’s.”

Lexa cocked an eyebrow. “By all means, speak freely, Octavia.”

Octavia stepped closer, her gaze growing furious. “You want to know why I’m angry? Because while you live, Lincoln is still dead. I don’t blame you for his death, the guilt falls on Bellamy. But every time I see your face, and each time I will see you with Clarke…” tears welled in Octavia’s eyes. “I’ll be reminded of that. And it isn’t fair.”

“And how is any of this for Clarke’s sake?” Lexa asked.

“Because I know that if the tables were turned, and I had Lincoln again, Clarke would be happy for me,” Octavia said, brushing a falling tear away from her cheek. “She wouldn’t let any anger get in the way of me being happy with him. She would suffer in silence for my sake and be there for me, regardless of how unfair it all was or how much the anger tore her apart.”

“It _is_ unfair,” Lexa said, her voice softening. “And I am sorry for your loss. He was a good and decent man, an honorable warrior.” Octavia scoffed and shook her head, not wanting to hear it. “And I know what you’re thinking, that life has lost its purpose, that there is no hope or future worth fighting for without the one you love beside you-“

“-Don’t lecture me, Lexa. You have _no idea_ how this feels,” Octavia interrupted, her words bitter and sharp.

Lexa paused, took a deep breath, and continued. “I awoke one morning in bed to my first love’s head delivered to me. The Ice Queen kidnapped, tortured, and beheaded her. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that much pain and still keep breathing,” Lexa’s voice quieted, as if recalling the memory of that morning. Her face hardened again as she regained her composure. “Don’t presume to comprehend what pain I’ve experienced, or that you alone have suffered great loss. But we all have a purpose to serve those around us, to fight for a better future. _Get knocked down, get back up_.”

These last words were spoken in trigedasleng, a phrase Lexa knew Lincoln had taught Octavia during their time together. All her people were taught this saying as children, and each carried it with them through their lives. No doubt Lincoln would've passed it along to her as well.

Octavia faltered, then parted her lips to speak but fell silent when Indra and Bellamy returned. Without uttering another word, they remounted their horses and continued down the wooded path.

\---

Kane sat alone in the infirmary, his empty gaze lingering on the shrouded body lying before him in the hospital bed. His eyes were sore and red from hours of crying, first from heartbreak, and then of relief. He had watched Abby die before his very eyes, watched her drift away and thought she was lost to him forever. But then Clarke had reached out and placed that blue chip in his hand, reassuring him that everything would be alright, and that Abby was waiting for him in the Sanctuary. He could still feel the sensation of the chip sliding down his throat when he swallowed it, closing his eyes and thinking only of Abby. And then he was there with her, standing in the Polis streets, embracing Abby in his arms again, weeping and kissing her as though they had been reunited after an eternity apart.

He reached out and took the cold hand laying exposed on the bed into his own, and lifted it to his lips for a kiss. When he returned Abby’s hand to the bed, he turned at the sound of approaching, running footsteps. He rose to his feet at the sight of Bellamy, bracing a weakened Indra against his body, broke through the open doorway.

“Oh my god-“ Kane stepped forward and gestured them towards an empty bed. “Bring her over here. Lay her down.”

Lexa and Octavia followed closely behind them as the two men eased Indra onto the empty hospital bed, gently positioning her head onto the pillow. Beads of sweat rolled down her pallid cheeks, and she breathed heavy against the nausea churning in her gut like a torrent.

“What happened?” Kane asked. He looked over his shoulder and saw Lexa, her face and body marked and beaten, darkened with her black blood. His face changed, a flash of panic, as if he’d seen a ghost. “L-Lexa, what-?”

Lexa raised her hand to silence him. “There is much to explain. We must convene a meeting, immediately.”

Kane shook his head, distressed. “It’s three in the morning, and most of us have already just been able to get to sleep after what’s happened to Abby. Can it wait until the morning?”

“Abby? What-?” Octavia stammered, then glanced over to the body across the room, covered in a white sheet. Abby’s hand still laid, exposed, on the mattress. She staggered back a few steps, her eyes never parting from the body, and turned to leave the medical bay.

“O, wait!” Bellamy rose to follow her, but stopped at Indra’s clammy grip on his wrist.

“No,” she said, her weakened voice cracking in her throat. “Leave her be. She needs to be alone.”

Lexa’s gaze lingered on Abby’s shrouded body. She remembered being with Clarke in the Sanctuary while imprisoned in Polis, and how her mother was on the verge of death. Her heart ached for Clarke, yet she remained composed and hardened in Kane’s presence. “Was Clarke able to administer the chip to Abby before she passed?”

“Yes,” Kane said with a breath of relief. “I did as well, and met her…” he gestured, unsure of how to describe it. “… _there_. So I could see that she was alright and that I hadn’t lost her.”

Lexa turned and met Kane’s eyes, saw how exhausted, both physically and mentally, he was. Her gaze then turned to Indra, who was fighting against her own exhaustion to remain awake.

“Very well, we will convene in the morning. We can all use the rest,” Lexa said, becoming acutely aware of the fatigue her own body was experiencing. Her limbs and joints ached, and her wounds throbbed against her skin.

Kane nodded and offered her a smile. “Thank you. Is there anything you need? We can find you someplace to rest. Maybe some food?”

“Yes, there is something,” Lexa replied, nearly exasperated. She could smell the scent of dried blood, sweat, and dirt on her skin and clothes. “I’d like to bathe, please.”

\---

Lexa cherished that hot shower despite the sting of her wounds against the hard spray of steaming water. She stared at the tile beneath her feet and watched black blood slide from her wet skin and swirl down the drain. Closing her eyes, she washed her face and winced at the touch of her fingertips against the knuckle-shaped bruises against her cheek. Once she was clean, she took a moment to revel in the warmth before shutting the faucet and reaching for the clean set of clothes Kane had provided her.

Moments later she had arrived at the metal door to Clarke’s chambers. She pressed her hand against the door to push it open, but faltered. She stood there, silent, recalling Octavia’s anger earlier that day about how Lexa had cheated death while Lincoln remained lost. And here she was now, standing outside of Clarke’s room, while Octavia would sleep alone in her bed. Lexa understood that pain, comprehended the courage it took to keep living and wake up every morning in spite of the pain. Her heart ached for Octavia, but she also couldn’t help but also feel a crashing wave of relief. After all of her suffering, after all the turmoil and strife, she still had Clarke, and she was thankful for that fact alone.

She entered the room and silently closed the door behind her. A small light above a desk in the corner illuminated the room just bright enough for Lexa to detect Clarke stretched out on her bed, fast asleep. Lexa approached and sat on the edge of the mattress. She looked down at her and smiled. Reaching out, she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek. Clarke stirred and peeked awake to peer through the darkness, suddenly alarmed at the dark figure beside her.

“Shhh, Clarke, it’s only me,” Lexa whispered through a growing smile.

Clarke’s eyes widened, and she sat up to throw her arms around Lexa’s shoulders. She felt Lexa wince against her tight embrace and abruptly pulled back to examine her more closely. Her jaw dropped at seeing the bruises and cuts, which were visible even in the dim light. She reached out and cradled Lexa’s jaw in her palm, “Oh my god, Lexa! What did they do to you?”

Lexa took Clarke’s hands into her own and kissed her palm. “It doesn’t matter. I’m alright, I promise.”

Clarke leaned in to press her lips against Lexa’s, soaking in the scent and warmth of her. Both women were exhausted, had desperately needed to rest for the trying days that awaited them. But when Lexa tasted Clarke’s lips and tongue, none of it mattered. The barriers she’d maintained around her to command her subjects, to uphold her command authority and presence, crumbled in that moment. She was open and vulnerable embraced in Clarke’s arms, unable to care about any other moment than this. She didn’t care about her wounds or bruises, or the pain of Clarke pressing her body against hers, pulling her closer and back onto the mattress.

Everything besides the touch of Clarke’s fingertips, the scent of her hair, the taste of her skin diminished in the darkness of the bedroom. Lexa felt lost in Clarke’s embrace, in her breath and warmth. She slid her hands beneath her shirt and trailed up her back, savoring the sensation of Clarke’s body reacting to hers.

“Lexa…”

“I love you,” Lexa whispered before pressing her lips to Clarke’s. She was losing herself further, but she welcomed and craved it.

In the distance, the army that had once been hers was pressing through the forest, drawing closer to their gates. Radiation loomed, and whatever time they had left was going to expire shortly. But it could wait until the morning.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)

Lexa took her seat beside Clarke in Arkadia’s command room, wincing at the ache still radiating through her bones. Although they had been able to get some sleep after she joined Clarke in her bedroom, it was still relatively early and Lexa’s body needed time to rest. Tiberius hadn’t been easy on her during the interrogation, and she still felt the effects days later. Clarke placed a warm hand on Lexa’s knee and offered a reassuring smile, to which Lexa strained to return. She took Clarke’s hand into her own and held it beneath the table as Kane approached, unrolling an area map.

“So, this army... you happen to know exactly from where they’ll be approaching?” Kane asked as Octavia and Raven helped pin down the corners of the map with loaded rifle magazines. Bellamy and Murphy sat with them at the table, loading empty magazines with what ammunition they had left in the compound.

“Doubt they’ll just come up the road and knock on our front door,” Bellamy said, reaching out to grab another empty magazine.

“There’s no reason why he shouldn’t,” Lexa stated, feeling more like the commander that she once was. She stood from her chair and leaned over the map. “Tiberius is not a military scholar and isn’t exactly gifted with tactical aptitude, but he has overwhelming numbers on his side. With that advantage, you’re at liberty to be free from the burden of thinking tactically.”

“Maybe we can hold them off. Our compound is fortified and solid, we’re well-armed. We don’t have to destroy the entire army if we can just keep them at bay,” Kane suggested, gesturing at the Arkadia location depicted on the map.

“Even if we reserve our ammo, one shot one kill for each grounder, we may not have enough rounds. We saw the army ourselves, there were thousands of them,” Octavia said. “All he’d have to do is throw men at us until we run out of ammo, then he can overtake us.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed. “Do you think there’s any way we could negotiate with him? Find some temporary truce that would give us time to distribute the chips in Polis? Even if we can hold him off for a few weeks, the radiation would’ve taken its toll by then. We may not have to fight.”

Lexa’s demeanor softened when she turned to address Clarke. “Tiberius is not one to listen to reason. He killed his own brother to usurp the council and Azgeda throne, and he’s played into Skaikru’s supposed failure to meet the council’s demands. Each warrior believes they are fighting a true enemy of their people. You are enemies that, since your arrival, have needlessly killed thousands of their own. They will not listen, they will not have mercy.”

“Fucking outstanding,” Murphy groaned.

Bellamy tossed a full magazine into a nearby crate, frustrated. “But that wouldn’t’ve happened if Azgeda hadn’t sent the war party to ambush us in the first place.”

Lexa’s face hardened. “That does not matter. What matters now is saving as many innocent lives as we can before it’s too late.”

“So, we sneak out and find our way back to Polis to distribute the chips while Tiberius is focused on Arkadia. If it’s just a small party, we should be able to move without attracting their attention,” Clarke said, rising to look down at the map. She pointed to a distant path. “If we can break through the brush, we can reach this road that will take us to Polis. It’s out of the way, they won’t be looking for us there.”

“That would not be wise,” Lexa said.

 “Why? Isn't reaching Polis in time to save more lives worth the risk?” Clarke shook her head, confused.

Octavia scoffed and crossed her arms. “You think that asshole doesn’t have scouts running recon of this entire area? There’s no way anyone will be able to reach Polis, not while his army stands.”

“That is not all.” Lexa pressed her finger to the depiction of a small island on the map. “Tiberius isn’t just out to annihilate Skaikru, he’s interested in the technology that’s brought me back. He sees A.L.I.E.'s technology as a way to conquer death itself, which isn't entirely incorrect but is dangerous if in his hands.” She lifted her eyes and met with Kane’s. “He almost took the chip, but I was able to destroy it in time. We cannot let him have access to those servers. Protecting them is our priority, without them all the souls in the Sanctuary will be lost. We will _all_ be lost.”

Kane hesitated and dropped his gaze to the map. He took a deep breath and turned to look at the crate of loaded ammo magazines and frowned at how few there were. “If he does have scouts, he’ll most likely be able to track any party we send to guard the mansion.”

“That is likely. But regardless, it is only a matter of time before he discovers the location on his own with the help of those scouts. It will be better to have a guard positioned to defend the island,” Lexa retook her seat, too tired to remain standing.

“Couldn’t we just evacuate Arkadia and move our defenses to the island?” Raven asked. “We may stand a better chance at holding off an army if they have to cross a body of water to reach us. Who knows, the mansion may have some more weapons, too. Some built-in defenses we can work with.”

“Not everyone can evacuate the compound. We have sick, injured…” Kane’s voice faltered. “.. We have people who _need_ us here who can’t move. We can’t just abandon our people to die alone.”

“Then I will stay. With whomever elects to remain to fight, to hold them off to give you time to set up your defenses. Their fates have already been sealed, regardless of your presence here,” Lexa said. Her eyes were closed, face calm and collected. “Should I perish here, I will regenerate in the mansion to offer my assistance. It will be safe for Clarke to travel to Polis once Tiberius and his army have been defeated on the shores of the island.”

The room fell silent again, heavy with the burden of knowing what was to come. Clarke turned and looked at Lexa, suddenly feeling her heart tighten in her chest. This had been a moment she knew was coming, a moment she’d hoped could be delayed for perhaps just a little longer. Surviving had been such an exhaustive venture, it’d been that way since they fell to Earth. But this action set before them signaled that they were nearly there. All that stood in their way was one, final trial.

\--

“ _You look well_ ,” Lexa said in Trigedasleng as she sat in the empty chair beside Indra’s bed. The infirmary was dim, with only a single overhead lamp illuminating the room. She heard Murphy enter behind her and step to Emori’s bedside on the opposite wall. When Lexa glanced her way, she could see that she was in no better state than Indra.

“ _If there is one thing I have come to know about you, Commander, is when you are lying,”_ Indra responded weakly through dry, cracked lips. Her brow was slick with sweat, soaking the pillow beneath her hair. “ _You were always a terrible liar, ever since you were a child_.”

Lexa smiled. “ _Nisiah was always a better liar than me_. _Do you remember when she stole the horse from Klaus’ barn and blamed in on Costia?_ ”

“ _Yes, I do_. _She was such a trouble-maker_ ,” A brief smile curled at her lips before fading. “ _I wish my daughter were here now_.”

“ _Me too, old friend_ ,” Lexa placed a hand on Indra’s arm and felt the fever rise from her tepid skin. She felt a pang of guilt that her subjects were suffering from the radiation, yet she was not. She grew aware of the black bruises and wounds aching across her body and she wondered, for a brief moment, if her being a Nightblood made any difference. “ _Do you need water? Food?_ ”

“ _I can’t keep anything down. A hell of a way for a warrior to die, isn’t it? This fever will burn through me before Tiberius’ army reaches us.”_

 _“Stay strong. Most Skaikru are leaving for the mansion to protect the Sanctuary. I’m staying behind with others who have chosen to fight,”_ Lexa took Indra’s hand. “ _Will you stand with us?”_

Indra smiled and squeezed Lexa’s hand. “ _To fight by your side again and to meet my end as a warrior… is an honor_.”

“ _The honor is mine, Indra_.” Lexa smiled, but hesitated. “ _Would you consider joining us in the Sanctuary? Your leadership will be desperately needed to rebuild in the new world, after the death cloud has cleared._ ”

 _“My daughter met her death with honor, as did Costia and countless of my family before me,”_ Indra said, tears welling in her eyes _. “I am the last, I have no family left. Must I keep them waiting for me in the afterlife?”_

Lexa reached into her pocket and withdrew a blue chip, which she placed into Indra’s palm. “ _Nisiah would be proud that her mother continued to serve her people with honor when they needed her the most, even in the most challenging of times. But the choice is yours, my friend_. _Rest now, save your strength.”_

Indra wavered, her gaze lingering on the chip, and parted her lips to speak but fell silent when Octavia entered. Lexa stood and left the two alone, turning to look back one final time before exiting into the hallway.

“Indra, they’re saying I have to go with them,” she said, approaching Indra’s bedside in a hurry. “I want to stay here with you, to fight with _you_. Please allow me to stay.”

“You will do no such thing,” Indra’s tone grew stern. “The future of our people depends on you defending the Sanctuary. You will go with Skaikru and fight with them.”

“I am your Second, Indra. My place is by your side,” Octavia begged. “Please, let me fight with you.”

“You are too persistent-”

“-And you’re important to me,” Octavia blurted out, tears welling in her eyes. “I’ve already lost Lincoln. I couldn’t help him. But I _can_ help you, I can fight with you. Please, allow me at least that.”

Indra glanced down at the blue chip in her palm before closing her fingers around it. She hesitated, then returned her attention to Octavia, who was staring at her with pleading eyes.

“As my second, I direct you to fight with Skaikru until your last breath,” Indra said, her voice steady. Octavia tensed, eyes widened. “And when we meet again in the Sanctuary, I expect a count of how many of Tiberius’ men met their end on your blade. _Do right by me, warrior_.”

A tear rolled down Octavia’s cheek as she straightened her posture. She approached Indra’s bedside and bowed, resting her forehead to Indra’ knuckles. “ _I won’t let you down, Mentor_ ,” she said in Trigedasleng before rising and turning to depart, leaving the infirmary without another word.

\--

Raven switched on the lamp to her bedroom desk and limped towards the closet. She winced at the discomfort in her leg as she swung open the door, reached inside, and yanked out an empty backpack.

“What the hell am I even supposed to pack for the end of the world?” she muttered to herself, tossing the bag onto her bed. Her gaze turned towards the desk where the blue chip rested inside an empty whiskey glass. Clarke had given her the chip back when they were first leaving the island. She couldn’t imagine taking it, not after what A.L.I.E. had done to her. But so much had changed since that afternoon, and they wouldn’t have much longer. Not only was Tiberius’ army marching towards them, but the radiation was already taking its toll. Those from space could survive for a short time longer than the grounders due to their obscene exposure to cosmic radiation, but it wouldn’t be long before they too perished.

She closed her eyes and recalled the numbness after taking A.L.I.E.’s chip, of losing herself in trying to escape the constant suffering. Clarke promised that this was different, that the Sanctuary was what Becca had intended the program to be all along. But A.L.I.E. had perverted Becca’s intentions, had twisted and mutated it into something cold and sterile. Lexa carried the flame that drew its lineage directly from Becca, who else could Raven trust now if it wasn’t the one who carried a piece of her consciousness?

Raven grabbed onto the glass and raised it to her lips, tipping the chip into her mouth and down her throat. She closed her eyes and braced against what she expected was the sudden wave of numbness, dreading that same sensation that she felt after A.L.I.E.’s chip. She waited, but nothing changed.

A knock at her door nearly sent her into the air. She placed her hand over her chest, feeling her heart racing beneath her ribs, and ambled towards the door to pull it open. Lexa stood in the hallway, her hands clasped politely behind her back as she waited.

“Lexa? What’re you doing here?”

“Pardon the intrusion. May I have a moment?”

Raven backed into the room and gestured inside. “Sure, come on in.” Lexa stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “I figured you’d be spending time with Clarke before we leave later today.”

Lexa, maintaining her stoic posture, nodded. “Yes, I will be with her shortly. We won’t have much time though, there is too much to prepare before the departure.”

Raven crossed her arms and observed the woman standing across from her. A grin curled at her lips. “Man, loosen up a bit. You are _so serious_. I can see why Clarke likes you, though. You two kinda have this ying and yang thing goin’ on.” Raven turned and took a seat at her desk, propping her leg up onto a short stool. “You know she has a party-girl side to her? You wouldn’t necessarily know that about her with how terrible things have been lately but… when things calm down a bit, you’ll see. She’s fun.”

Lexa blinked and released her clasped hands from behind her back, choosing instead to mimic Raven in crossing her arms. “No doubt we will have that chance in the Sanctuary.” A small smile crossed her face. “My culture has some unique drinking and party games I’m sure your people will enjoy.”

Raven laughed. “Grounder drinking games, oh god… I can only imagine how scary that can be.”

Lexa’s smile grew. “Yes, quite.”

“So, what can I do for you, _Heda_?”

“I wanted to offer my thanks to you. None of this would’ve been possible if you hadn’t salvaged the broken power pack in the first place. I wouldn’t have been able to communicate with Clarke from the flame had it not been for you.”

Raven raised her eyebrows. “It’s my pleasure. Even with a bum leg I like to think that I’m still pretty damn relevant. But did you come all this way just to say thank you?”

“Not exactly,” Lexa said. “As you know, myself and others will be staying behind to thin Tiberius’ forces. We of course will be severely undermanned and at a significant disadvantage, which is why I’m compelled to reach out to you for some needed expertise.”

“ _Expertise_? With what?”

Lexa uncrossed her arms and clasped her hands behind her back once again. “I require explosives. A substantial supply.”

Raven’s mischievous grin widened. “Lex, you’ve come to the right girl.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I gotta put a bit of a warning on this chapter... while reading, please PLEASE remember the 'eventual happy ending' tag I put on this story. Yes, there is war and violence, there is heartbreak and bad shit happens.. but trust me, everything'll be alright :) Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoy it. (Pardon any typos, my wife is usually my editor but she doesn't read my fanfic work lol)

Clarke glanced over her shoulder at Arkadia’s compound far behind them, now visible only by the torches that illuminated the guard towers. The convoy departed late in the night under the concealment of an overcast sky, a hush shrouding each footfall and whisper. Lexa ignited the tower’s torches well after they’d left to attract the attention of the advancing Polis army. Arkadia was now a beacon radiating through the thick darkness, beckoning the warriors as they approached. It was thought that if the army’s attention was on Arkadia’s walls, the convoy could move undetected.

_“I like you wearing my cloak,” Lexa said, adjusting the crimson fabric around Clarke’s shoulders. She smiled despite the sadness lingering in her emerald eyes. “It suits you.”_

_“You should be coming with us,” Clarke said._

_“And what good would my broken body do during the journey? Or in battle on the island’s shores?” Lexa pulled the cloak over Clarke’s hair and tucked a loose, blonde strand behind her ear. “After our final stand, I will join you again.”_

_Clarke closed her eyes and took a breath. Her heart twisted in her chest, her gut churned at the thought of Lexa dying in battle. Lexa would simply return through the organic printer pod as she did before, but the idea still left her uneasy and troubled. “I hate that it has to be this way.”_

_“Let me assure you that this is not ideal for me, either,” Lexa said, a hint of a laugh behind her lips. “But this will be the honorable warrior’s death that I was denied. I’m honored to stand with those who are staying behind.”_

_Clarke reached and pulled Lexa into a tight embrace. She felt Lexa’s arms wrap around her waist, felt her warmth and breathed the scent of her hair. “May we meet again.”_

“You alright?” Raven asked from the horse beside her.

Clarke turned away and brushed a tear from her eye. She needed to focus now, aim her attention on reaching the mansion and establishing a defensive perimeter. Their suffering, their toil and pain would be over soon, and she had only to endure for a bit longer. She took a breath and straightened her back as she rode, lifted her head a little higher.

“I’m fine,” she said, offering Raven a quick smile. They continued down the path in silence, anxiously counting down the hours until their arrival to the shore.

\---

“This is fucking insane,” Murphy slapped a magazine into his rifle.

Emori, pale and slick with sweat, sat up from the bed and picked up the pistol resting beside her. She could only hold the weapon with her one hand, and she grinned at how heavy it now felt in her weakening state. “We’re dead anyway. Why not go out with a bang, right?” She lifted her eyes to meet his, frowning then when she saw the anxiety etched across his face. “You should’ve gone with the others.”

“You’re stupid if you think I’d leave you here,” he said, shifting from his chair to sit next to her on the bed. “Besides, you barely know how to use that thing,” he gestured to the pistol, “What kind of ass would I be if I wasn’t around to help you with it?”

“You’re an ass either way,” Emori smiled weakly and rested her head on his shoulder. Murphy placed his hand over hers and kissed her hair. They sat together in a heavy silence, understanding what awaited them.

A moment later Indra entered the infirmary, herself appearing weary and ill. “Are you both armed?” Emori gestured with the pistol in her hand, invoking a disapproving sneer from Indra. She adjusted her grip on her sword’s hilt and offered a nod. “Very well, I suppose that will do… be ready.”

Indra turned away and departed down the hall, taking steady breaths to ease the nausea rising in her throat. Her fever radiated from her sweat-slick brow, her skin and joints ached with each step. When she stepped outside into the open compound, she braced against the biting chill of the morning air. The sun was just now rising against a burgundy skyline; she hoped the blood-tint of the sky was a good omen for the day.

“ _You should be resting, Indra. Save your strength_ ,” Lexa said in their native tongue. She paced around the grassy compound, hands clasped behind her back. Her gaze examined countless shallow mounds of fresh dirt dotted throughout the grounds, being sure to evade them as she walked. “ _You will need it for battle_.”

“ _The commander should speak for herself_ ,” Indra replied, a weak smile curling at her lips. She glanced down at the mounds of dirt and frowned again. _“I don’t like this method. Using their weapons…It’s not our way.”_

“ _We have little choice if we are to cripple his army_ ,” Lexa explained. She thought of Clarke and wondered how much further they had until arriving on the island, until reaching safe ground. “ _Surely the mountain men aren’t using them anymore, we’re lucky Skaikru took them before the mountain was destroyed_.”

“ _Do you think it will work? Surely Tiberius isn’t **this** reckless_. _He may send a clearing party.”_

“ _He is too obsessed with the idea of victory that he does not stop to think of how he will attain it. The prideful fool has no understanding of strategy.”_

Indra parted her lips to speak but fell silent. Her eyes lifted towards a veil of ignited arrows emerging from the distant skyline, soaring through the air towards them. The two broke into a sprint, darting around the heaps of fresh earth as they ran towards the perimeter walls. Shouting erupted from the guard towers, yelling to take cover. Their voices turned to screams as the arrows descended, some hitting their mark on the bodies of men occupying guard towers. Lexa and Indra pressed against the inner wall, shielding themselves from the blanket of arrows now striking the metal exterior.

When the assault finally ceased, Lexa and Indra rushed up the guard tower ladder and discovered two Skaikru guards lying dead on the floor, shot through the throat and chest. When Lexa turned her gaze out across the expansive field, she saw hundreds of grounder warriors emerge from the far treeline. She heard them now, the battle cries and beating of drums. War had arrived on their doorstep.

“ _Took them long enough_ ,” Indra drawled.

As the grounder archers prepared their bows with another string of ignited arrows, Lexa watched Tiberius ride from the darkness of the forest on a tall, white horse. When he caught sight of her eyeing him from across the open field, he raised his sword towards her with a smile she could see even at a distance.

“ _Help me get everyone inside_.”

\---

Clarke’s horse startled and jerked to the side along the narrow dirt path. “Hey, whoa!”

They’d been traveling for most of the night and early morning, still a few hours away from the island shores. Clarke herself had begun to drift to sleep on the saddle when the horse she was riding lurched beneath her, jolting her awake.

“Everything alright?” Octavia asked, taking the horse’s reins in her hand to steady the animal. She and Bellamy had been walking beside both her and Raven’s horses, taking turns riding to give their tired legs and aching feet a rest. Much of their 150 personnel convoy were walking and took turns sitting on the single horse-drawn cart of supplies.

“I think something just spooked it, is all. Maybe a bird or something.”

Raven shifted in her saddle against the ache radiating up her leg and hip. She winced and breathed through her clenched teeth, “how much longer we got? My leg isn’t diggin’ this at all.”

Bellamy smiled up at her, “Maybe only a couple hours. You can rest while we’re setting up around the island-“

The pop of gunshots reverberated off the trees surrounding them. Clarke’s blood ran cold as they turned back and watched dozens of grounders burst from the wood line, weapons unsheathed. She drew her pistol and aimed, dropping three grounders to the muddy earth before their swords met with their intended targets.

“Ambush!”

“It’s fucking Azgeda again!” Octavia shouted, drawing her swords. Clarke had been right about the convoy being vulnerable, but she’d assumed they would be followed by Tiberius’ army, not fallen into an ambush. But surely he hadn’t known where they would be going, or which path they would take. Who knows how many ambush parties he dispatched throughout the area to find them, or how many more ambushes awaited them down the road?

Gunshots and clashing steel, screaming and cries for help, a cacophony of violence erupted around them. Clarke emptied a pistol clip from atop her horse and reached for another before she sensed an arrow fly past her face, nearly striking her. Her horse reined back, nearly dropping Clarke to the ground.

Kane stumbled forward from the scuffle, blood trickling down his face and through his beard. “Go!” He shouted, frantically waving them forward. “Get to the mansion before-!” An arrow pierced through his chest, immediately silencing him.

“Kane!” Clarke watched Kane’s knees buckle, dropping him as his legs lost their strength. He was dead before he reached the ground.

“We gotta go!” Bellamy hoisted himself up onto the saddle behind Raven and looked back to fire at two approaching grounders, killing them before they reached the horse.

Octavia sprinted towards the horse-drawn cart carrying their remaining ammo and supplies. A grounder rushed at her, sword raised in the air and ready to strike. She deflected the attack with her blade and slashed the man’s throat with the other. She leapt onto the cart and kicked the dead driver aside, himself shot through the neck with an arrow, and took hold of the reins.

A second arrow hissed past Clarke’s cheek as she turned her horse and kicked hard, urging it into a gallop. Octavia whipped the reins, throttling the horse and cart forward into a panicked charge, following the two horses galloping ahead of her.

\---

“ _Commander, they’ve taken the outer halls_ ,” Indra gasped through haggard breaths. She clutched onto a wound on her hip, blood seeped through her fingertips and down her wrist. Gunshots echoed down the hall, made louder by the cold, metal walls surrounding them. Indra looked over her shoulder, _“those shots are coming from the infirmary._ ”

“ _They will reach us soon… it won’t be long, now.”_ Lexa leaned against the wall and pressed her palm against her wounded shoulder. They managed to push back the first wave of warriors, but when they returned shortly after with reinforcements, their thin line of defense shattered. When she’d led her army before, that shoulder would’ve been protected with her armor. But she was exposed now, and when the enemy’s sword bore down on her skin there had been nothing to protect her. Black blood trailed down her left arm, which now gradually became numb and cold. She shifted her weight to move it, but winced at the pain and realized that the limb was now useless to her.

Lexa smiled when they felt the tremble of another explosion erupt outside the compound. More of Tiberius’ warriors were lost with each mine detonation, which left fewer men to pursue Clarke after Arkadia had been lost. The assault had lasted over two hours, and the mines were still thinning their numbers.

“ _You must get to the cellar before it’s too late_ ,” Indra said.

“ _Will you not join me?_ ”

“ _I would prefer to stay here, if the Commander wills it. My fight is over_ ,” Indra said, adjusting her grip on her sword.

Lexa turned her gaze to Indra as she removed her palm from the wound. It was deep, most certainly fatal, although it didn’t matter at this point. Not anymore. She reached with her good arm and rested her hand on Indra’s shoulder. “ _Stay strong, my friend. May we meet again in the Sanctuary.”_

They heard screaming through the ricochet of gunfire, and then sudden silence. Tiberius’ men must’ve overtaken the infirmary, meaning both Murphy and Emori had fallen. Indra pushed Lexa away and readied her sword.

“ _Go, now!_ ”

Lexa hesitated and watched Indra stride back down the hall, her sword tight in her grasp. This was the death that Indra wanted, the death of a warrior. Lexa suppressed the tears welling her eyes, swallowed the ache rising in her chest, and limped away towards the stairwell that would lead her to the cellar.

She hobbled down the steps, wincing with each footfall, and entered inside the small cellar. The room felt more like a bunker than what she imagined a cellar to be. She discovered a line of metal drums along the walls, wires protruding from the sealed lids. The wires led to a single remote resting on the ground. She closed the door behind her and locked it before shuffling deeper into the cellar, her arm hanging limp at her side.

Dropping to the floor, she took a small controller into her hands. She eyed the red button at the center and realized in that moment just how alone she felt. Her back pressed against the back wall, she faced the door and listened as hurried footsteps approached. Fists banged on the door, men shouted and barked through the thick metal. How appropriate that the commander be the last to fall.

Lexa closed her eyes. Indra was gone. Murphy, Emori, those who had stayed behind to fight, they were all gone. She breathed, her thumb tracing the edges of the detonation button, and reached for the Sanctuary. A tear dropped from her eye as she saw them there, safe within the Polis she had created for them. She smiled against the tears now running down her cheeks.

_They’re safe._

But then there was Kane and others from the convoy. She watched as Abby welcomed them, embraced Kane with tears in her eyes. Her smile faltered. Nearly all personnel from the convoy were now in the Sanctuary, and the realization that something must’ve happened sent a cold chill up her spine. More searching, more reaching, to find Clarke within the Sanctuary but she was unable to find her. No Clarke, no Raven, Bellamy, or Octavia… She breathed a sigh and opened her eyes to see the thick, metal door begin to buckle under the persistent thrashing. Tiberius’ men must’ve been swarming the compound by now.

_Clarke is still alive_.

More screaming as fists and weapons battered against the door. The hinges loosened from the concrete, rattled with each strike. Clarke would be waiting for her on the island and needed her when the rest of Tiberius’ army came looking for them, came searching for the Sanctuary’s servers.

Lexa braced herself, the remote tight in her grasp, and stared at the door as it buckled in. Her heart raced, drummed against her ribs, as the door was pushed away. Men swarmed inside, their red-stained blades drawn against her. When they bore down on her, she sneered and let out one final, defiant battle cry before activating the detonator.

At that moment Clarke and the others arrived, exhausted and battered, at the shoreline. Within the mansion’s server room across the waterway, the red light on an organic printer began to blink.

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I am so sorry this chapter update has taken so long! My job has wrecked my freetime over the past month, but I'm finally getting back into the swing of things. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Tiberius' horse lurched back and threw him from the saddle as the earth trembled beneath them. He landed hard on the rocky ground and lifted an arm to brace against the sudden rush of heat singeing his face. The Ark's detonation had erupted in a thunderous, deafening explosion that burned through the air, drawing the breath from his lungs. Shards of debris dropped from the sky, raining down on what remained of his men, crushing some where they stood.  

He gasped for air, his lungs seizing from the smoke and heat, and staggered to his feet. "N-No!" He gaped at the burning remains of Arkadia and stepped towards it, ignoring the last remnants of metal shrapnel crashing near his feet. He heard the screaming and frantic commotion of his men behind him, scrambling to offer aid to their fallen brethren. A fiery rage churned in his chest, his breath quickened against his already flushed face. His jaw grew taut, his fists clenched.

_How many of my men were inside? Too many... they were clearing out the compound, they were looking for **her** when... Damnit! Damn that bitch and her trap... I have to reach A.L.I.E.'s mansion before I lose too many men, before our numbers die off-_

"My lord," a young warrior beside him uttered, his voice trembling. When Tiberius turned to look at him, he noticed how pallid and sickly he looked. Most of his warriors looked like this now, with damp, feverish brows and slick, ashen cheeks. The radiation had taken its toll on them, even the strongest were struggling now. They were weak and deserved to die, but not until Tiberius was done with them. And he wasn't through with them, not yet. "You're b-bleeding, my lord."

Tiberius lifted his fingers to the warmth trailing down his nostril and drew it back:  black blood. He wiped the blood onto his fur jacket and pulled a cloth from his pocket to cover his nose, pinching at the bridge to slow the bleeding. He turned a wary eye to the sickly boy. "Gather what men we have left. And if I hear you say anything about this," he gestured with his blackened fingertips, "I'll slit your throat. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes, my lord," the boy stammered and turned to sprint down the length of the field to rejoin the remaining warriors.

Tiberius returned his gaze to the remains of Arkadia, now engulfed in a roar of flames. Smoke billowed into the air, darkening the mid-morning sky. A black raven emerged through the thick veil, its wingspan beating against the plumes of black, acrid smoke. Tiberius reached out an arm for the raven to descent upon. He brought the blackened, bloody cloth away from his face to untie the note fastened to the bird's leg. He read the words scrawled across the thin strip of paper and shook the bird from his arm, sending it away again. Crumbling the paper, he threw it to the ground and spat a thick, black wad of blood at it. 

"Mount up!" Tiberius barked, turning to the small contingent of remaining warriors across the field. He strode towards his horse and clasped onto the reins. Wiping the last smear of black blood from his nose, he hoisted himself back onto the saddle and tugged the horse's head towards his men. "The war isn't over yet!"

 --- 

It was midday by the time the tugboat reached the shores of the island. Octavia was the first to step onto the dock to secure the boat, her gaze often turning to inspect the distant treeline where they'd emerged before, exhausted from their escape of the grounder ambush. Clarke watched the hardness in her face and caught a glimpse of worry in her eyes, of fear that they'd been followed. Their eyes locked in a lingering, knowing gaze that sent a shiver of dread down Clarke's spine. Octavia knew, and maybe everyone on that boat, silent against the sounds of wind and crashing waves, understood it as well.

_If Tiberius follows us here, if he finds the server room and gains access to the Sanctuary... it's over._

"A little help with this shit?" Octavia growled through clenched jaws. She hoisted a heavy bin of loaded ammo magazines and took one step onto the island's dock, balancing herself between the sway of the water moving the tugboat. Bellamy dropped a sack of food rations onto the beach and rushed back to offer a hand, passing Raven and Clarke along the way as they carried spare rifles up the dock.

Clarke heard a sniffle beside her and glanced over to see Raven brush a fallen tear from her chin. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, and her limp intensified the further they strode up the grassy field. The hours of hard riding and rough travel had left Raven wincing with each step.

"I can't-" Raven choked and covered her mouth with the palm of her hand, tears now trailed down her cheeks.

"Hey," Clarke reached out and placed a hand on Raven's shoulder, slowing her to stop in the middle of the field. "We can take a break if you need to rest your-"

"-It isn't my leg," she sounded almost annoyed as she wiped her cheeks. She lifted her gaze to the sky. "We lost them, Clarke. The ambush... everyone..." she shook her head. "We left them to die..."

Clarke dropped her gaze to the grass beneath her boots. She remembered the piercing screams, the kickback of her pistol when she took down an approaching grounder, the panicked look in Kane's eyes as he ushered them to escape and how they deadened when the arrow pierced his chest. She suppressed the hot tears stinging her eyes and reached out to pull Raven into a tight embrace. Raven wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and sobbed into her shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay…” Clarke blinked the tears from her eyes and rubbed Raven’s back. “I promise. They’re waiting for us in the Sanctuary, they’re safe.” She felt Raven nod against her shoulder. “But it’s our job to make sure that they _stay_ safe. If Tiberius reaches the server room…” Clarke pulled back and looked into Raven’s eyes, bloodshot and filled with tears. “… than we _would_ have failed them, and we can’t let that happen.”

Raven held her gaze and brushed the heel of her palm against her eyes, pushing away the last of her tears. She nodded and took a deep breath before turning to continue towards the mansion. “Your girlfriend better’ve programmed that place so that I can get mind-numbingly drunk after this bullshit is over.”

“I’m right there with ya,” Clarke smiled and adjusted the rifle and bag hanging from her shoulder. She lifted her eyes and noticed a black raven glide across the sky and disappear into a nearby cluster of treetops.

\---

Raven stood guard at the top of the stairs, her loaded rifle slung over her shoulder, as Clarke descended the server room stairway. She hurried down the steps and paused at the bottom to observe the complex network of consoles and server towers. She shuddered remembering the last time she’d visited the cellar, recalling the chill of the grounder’s knife against her throat. They would’ve been killed if it wasn’t for-

_Lexa!_

Clarke rushed across the cellar and waited for the printer room doors to slide open. She stepped inside and trailed her gaze across the rows of organic 3D printer capsules until she heard the low hum of one processing in the far corner. She walked down the aisle and found the one emitting the low hum, noticing the blinking light on its display monitor.

“Oh, Lexa…” Clarke pressed her hand against the rough surface of the capsule wall and felt her heart twist in her chest. She rested her forehead against the surface and closed her eyes, took a breath, and pressed a kiss into the rough lining. “I’ll see you soon.”

She left a set of clothes on the floor beside the capsule and hurried back up the stairs. When Raven saw the look in her eyes, her brow furrowed.

“Shit, what happened? She processin’ down there?”

“Yeah, which means Arkadia is gone. If Tiberius survived, he won’t stop in trying to find this place.”

“Okay,” Raven clasped the back of her neck with her hand, rubbing the area where the rifle sling had rested. “So now what?”

Clarke hurried down the hallway with Raven at her heels, “We gotta set up defenses while there’s still time.”

\---

“Fuckin’ hell…” Bellamy collapsed onto the ground, sweat drenched his shirt and brow. He shifted up and propped himself up against a log, his rifle resting beside him. The sun was setting and they’d soon be enveloped in darkness.

“Oh, you weakling,” Raven chuckled and took a sip of water from a canteen. She wiped the moisture from her lip and passed him the canteen. “Those sandbags weren’t _that_ heavy.”

He took the canteen from her hands and snickered at her, “I didn’t see _you_ carrying any of those sandbags.”

Clarke joined them and took a seat against a treetrunk beside Raven. She positioned her rifle against the groove of her shoulder and ran her fingers through her sweat damp hair, taking in a deep breath of cool autumn air. The past few hours were spent filling and positioning sandbags to establish a defensive perimeter around the windows and doors of the mansion. They’d moved their supplies inside and each of them now carried four magazines of ammo. They now sat, exhausted and muscles aching, outside the front patio in what used to be a garden.

“We should rest in shifts,” Clarke said with a yawn. She rested her chin against the butt of her rifle. “I can take first shift, you guys deserve a break.”

“I’ll stand guard with you,” Octavia joined them, her face still noticeably cold even through the darkness. “It’s better if we’re in pairs. We’ll take turns, switching every few hours to make sure we get enough rest for tomorrow.”

Neither Raven or Bellamy protested, and both were asleep within minutes. Clarke watched Raven sleep against Bellamy’s shoulder and felt what seemed to be hope, optimistic of what waited for them in the Sanctuary. They could finally find peace there, they could do more with their lives than just struggle to survive.

Clarke felt the exhaustion weighing on her eyes, made worse by the darkness, until Octavia nudged her with the side of her boot.

“Have Raven or Bell take your place if you’re too tired to stay awake.”

“I’m fine.” Clarke rose to her feet and blinked away the sleep from her eyelids. “If they are coming, Lexa will help us fight.”

“Don’t you two need to get to Polis? To distribute those damn chips?”

“Yeah, but our priority is protecting the servers,” Clarke said. “If leaving means possibly losing the Sanctuary, of losing everyone whose already there waiting for us… well, then it’d all be for nothing, wouldn’t it?”

Octavia crossed her arms and turned to scan the open field. “That’s even if we stand a chance. You really think any of this makeshift defense shit will stop him?”

Clarke hesitated and took a breath before offering a shrug. “We don’t have any other option, do we? We stop him here or die trying.”

“I didn’t take you for the ‘last stand’ type,” Octavia shifted her eyes to lock eyes with Clarke.

Clarke readjusted her grip on her rifle and offered a smile. “Would _you_ have it any other way?”

A grin curled at the edge of Octavia’s lips. “Hell no, I wouldn’t.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience between these chapter updates! I'm currently nearing the end of writing my first novel, so it's been interesting balancing both of these writing projects along with work. Only two more chapters left this in this story, and I will get them to you as soon as I can! Love you guys :)

It took only a matter of seconds for Clarke to fall asleep after her guard watch with Octavia ended. The last rustle of sound she registered was Raven adjusting a rifle against her jacket, preparing for her own shift, before releasing to her exhaustion. Octavia and her had stood watch for nearly four hours after an already grueling day, and sleep came easy to her.

She smelled burning wood, felt the chill of the evening air against her cheeks. When she opened her eyes again she was standing at the foot of the Polis tower. Night had fallen, but the city still felt alive. Lit torches scattered throughout the city center illuminated the hundreds of men and woman, Skaikru and Trikru alike, moving about and conversing. The distant beating of hammers carried to her ears, men passed her carrying stacks of lumber, and the scent of cooked meat wafted by in the cool night air. She couldn’t help the smile that curled her lips when she heard laughter and felt something that she hadn’t in what felt like forever:  _hope_.

“Clarke?”

When she turned, Kane and Abby were already nearing her. Seeing Kane now, after watching him buckle to the ground with a bloody arrow protruding from his chest, sent a shiver up her spine. It all felt surreal, like the outside world was a nightmare and she’d just awoken from a dream. This world was real, and it was all that mattered anymore.

“Oh my god, Kane’s told me what happened!” Abby threw her arms around Clarke’s shoulders.

“Is this everyone?” Clarke asked when Abby pulled away.

Kane nodded. “Everyone from Arkadia and the ambush, yes. Those back at the arc put up a hell of a fight too. Indra said they must’ve taken out at least three quarters of his army between their defenses and the explosives Lexa detonated.”

Clarke’s heart tightened in her chest. It didn’t matter if Lexa was regenerating again in the pod, or if they would be together, safe in the sanctuary, after this was over. The idea of Lexa having to suffer, having to sacrifice herself along with so many others, still twisted at her.

“You’d think that people would’ve been distraught after what happened, feeling lost or helpless. But look-“ Kane gestured at the groups and men and women laughing together, eating, and moving about with various chores and tasks. “We all have a second chance here. We can rebuild our lives, have a chance for something better.”

Clarke smiled. _A chance for something better_.

“How are you holding up?” Abby asked, brushing a lock of hair from Clarke’s cheek.

“It’s only the four of us, at least until Lexa’s regeneration is finished. I don’t know how many of Tiberius’ men are left, if we can hold them off. If we can protect the servers…” Clarke swallowed and dropped her gaze to the ground. “Tiberius is coming and-”

_POP POP POP_  

Clarke froze. She felt a force being to pull her, dragging her back into darkness. Her vision began to diminish, as if she were being drawn back through a tunnel. Kane and Abby reached for her, her mother’s fingers grazing her own before she faded entirely.

_POP POP POP_

_Gunfire_.

She was enveloped in darkness, still feeling the pull of an invisible force. Screaming. She could hear screaming… she smelled blood and gun smoke. The odor filled her head, made her dizzy. Her stomach turned sour and she suppressed the urge to vomit as a hand reached through the blackness and grasped her by the collar.

She awoke to a grounder standing over her, his pallid, sweat-slick face peering down at her. His sunken cheeks and darkened eyes made him look like a corpse. He had her by the collar, and when he lifted his other arm she saw the glint of his blade clutched in his hand. She struggled against his grasp before throwing her knee up into his crotch, buckling him over. Her pistol was in her hand before she knew she’d drawn it and fired two shots into his skull, toppling him to the ground.

Clarke scrambled to her feet and heard the hiss of an arrow pass her cheek, felt the cut of the air against her skin. She ducked low to the ground and lifted her gaze across the open field that stretched out before the mansion. A morning fog had rolled in from the shoreline, cloaking them in a dense cloud. Another arrow flew overhead, breaking through the thick haze, and struck the mansion siding.

Her breath quickened, her heart pounded in her chest _. Where’re the others?! Where’s Raven? Octavia?_

Two grounders burst through a nearby treeline and bolted towards her, their swords raised in the air. Clarke leveled her pistol and struck one grounder in the head with a single shot, the other she caught in the throat. Both collapsed to muddy earth beneath them. Clarke’s eyes darted around her, searching.

“Octavia? Bellamy?” she called out. “Raven?”

A hand reached out from behind her and clasped over Clarke’s lips, silencing her. A figure pressed against her back and dragged Clarke back near the mansion wall, ducking behind a treetrunk. Clarke contorted, strained to pull free from the arm that reached around her, until the figure her whispered into her ear.

“Be still.” _Lexa_. “Tiberius’ is on the island. What remains of his men have made an assault from the shoreline, trying to disrupt your defenses. But you can’t let him draw you out into the open.” Lexa’s hold eased, allowing Clarke to turn and face her.

“How long have you been back?”

“I’ve only just dressed when I heard the gunshots,” Lexa responded. She reached to caress Clarke’s cheek, brushing her thumb against a smear of dirt on her temple. Her eyes softened. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Clarke said. “Have you seen anyone else? Raven, Octavia, and Bellamy are here with me, but I can’t find them.”

“They can take care of themselves, Clarke. Right now our priority is making sure that both you and the servers and safe. Follow me.” Lexa turned and crouched low to the ground, gesturing for Clarke to follow. Clarke hesitated, shifting her gaze across. the fog-blanketed field, before following.

More gunshots pierced through the haze, reassuring Clarke that at least someone was alive and putting up a fight. But who?

“We need to get back inside the server room and secure it, locking it from the inside,” Lexa said as they made their way closer to the front door. “Tiberius’ men are weak, near death from the radiation. They won’t last long even if your friends are to fall. After they expire, we can travel to Polis with the chips.”

“Lexa, if Tiberius’ men are this near death, what does that mean for our people in Polis?” Clarke’s question weighed heavy on her heart. It left her with a lingering sense of unease and dread.

Lexa hesitated and fell silent for a few moments. She paused and looked over her shoulder. “Our choices are limited, Clarke. At this point, loss of human life is inevitable. All we can do is try to save as many as we can before it’s too late, and not let the ghosts of those we can’t haunt us.”

Clarke parted her lips to speak but was silenced when Raven, limping and clutching an open wound at her side, hurried up the field towards the mansion. Three grounders emerged behind her, running to closing the distance between them.

“Raven!” Clarke called out and lunged forward to come to her aid. But Lexa’s arm reached out and wrapped around her waist, holding her back.

“Clarke, stop!” Lexa pulled her back towards the mansion, muscling to drag her closer to the front door.

Two shots. Two shots were all Clarke could fire before her clip emptied. She squeezed the trigger and heard nothing but empty clicking. She’d caught two grounders, one in the chest and the other in the face, and left one still in pursuit. He grabbed Raven by the shoulder and thrust his blade into her back, piercing through her gut in one jab.

“No! God, no!” Tears trailed down Clarke’s cheeks. The grounder yanked the blade from Raven’s gut. Hands bloody and trembling, Raven drew a dagger from her hip and turned to thrust it into the man’s throat. He let out a cry and shoved her away, clutching at the wound as he fell to his knees. Raven lost her footing and collapsed to the grassy earth, where she remained still.

Lexa continued to pull, to drag Clarke to safety, when two grounders emerged from the fog behind Raven and her dead assailants. They ran up the field towards them, their weapons at the ready to strike.

“Get inside the server room!” Lexa pushed her towards the door and darted at the two grounders.

Clarke looked over her shoulder and watched Lexa easily evade the swing of the grounder’s sword. She grabbed his wrist and twisted the blade from his grasp. It dropped to her feet and she ducked, avoiding the other grounder’s attack, and took the sword into her hands. She slashed at the man’s ankles, toppling him to the ground, before deflecting another strike. The last grounder jabbed at her, to which she deflected and turned her blade against him, piercing through his chest. Her moves were nearly effortless, as if combat and taking another’s life came as natural to Lexa as breathing.

When she turned back to the mansion to see Clarke still watching her, Lexa’s jaw grew taut, cheeks flushed in agitation. She opened her mouth to speak, but Clarke interjected.

“I’m not going without you.”

“You’re too stubborn,” Lexa said, her temperament cooling as they entered the mansion.

Clarke secured the thick steel door behind them after they’d entered the server room stairwell. She imagined Octavia and Bellamy still outside, wondered if they were still alive. Raven was gone, she’d abandoned her in the field, left her there with three dead grounders. She brushed a tear from her chin and pushed the thought from her mind, blocked the image of Raven’s body on the grass.

“How long do you think it’ll be before the radiation takes the rest of them?”

“Hopefully not long,” Lexa responded as they descended the steps. “But you should get some sleep while you can, we won’t be able to rest on our journey to Polis.”

“I don’t think I can sleep again, not after-“

A figure stood waiting for them inside the server room. Tall, draped in furs, and long dreads stood before the line of computer monitors, his fingertips tracing the edge of a keyboard. Black blood caked the skin on the back of his hand.

Tiberius. _Tiberius is a nightblood_.

“So, this is how you cheat death, _Heda_ ,” Tiberius chuckled and lifted his gaze to the blank screens. He closed his eyes and listened to the hum of the computer towers lining the wall. “Just listen to that. Music to my ears… sounds like immortality.”

“Am I mistaken in remembering that you cared little for the radiation threat?” Lexa asked, straightening her posture. Her grip on the hilt of the sword tightened. “Changed our minds, have we?”

Tiberius turned and offered a grin. “Not in the least, I assure you. Haven’t you noticed, Lexa, that us nightbloods aren’t affected by this infliction? We’re blessed with immunity.”

“It has not escaped my attention,” Lexa responded and stepped in front of Clarke, positioning herself as a shield between her and Tiberius. “What _does_ come as a surprise to me, though, has been your ability to avoid the conclave. Titus was particularly thorough in his search for nightblood children.”

Tiberius laughed. “Well, had I not been born a bastard to the queen, I would have no doubt joined you in yours. No, I was too much of an inconvenience to be around Azgeda, too much of a threat to my half-brother’s crown. The king wanted me killed, but my mother convinced him to let me live. Instead, I trained with the Azgeda army, my mother swearing death to any who exposed my condition to Polis authorities. By the time she was dead, I’d earned enough power in Azgeda’s army to insert influence with my brother’s regime. Enough influence, at least, to order an ambush on Skaikru’s medical convoy without my brother’s knowledge.”

“Kept you in her back pocket in case Ontari failed, did she?” Lexa asked, a smirk curling at her lips.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Tiberius responded with a cold grin. “But let’s be honest with one another, Lexa. The nightbloods, our _real_ people, have inherited this world. The radiation isn’t a curse, it’s a _gift_ to us. We can rule together, both in this world and the Sanctuary, as nature intended.”

“How about I just kill you instead?” Lexa growled through gritted teeth.

Tiberius chuckled and reached his hand into his pocket, extracting from it a single blue chip. Clarke’s heart nearly stopped when she watched him bring the chip to his lips. “You can try. But let’s make the playing field a bit more even, shall we?”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, remember how I said there would only be two chapters left? I guess I lied. I've taken way longer than I wanted to finish this chapter, so instead of making you guys wait another week or so, I decided to split the chapter in two and post the first half! So, two shorter chapters instead of one long (and super late) chapter. Enjoy, thank you for reading!! I love you guys.

The blue silicon chip disappeared between Tiberius’ lips. He held Lexa’s gaze, swallowed it, and offered her a wink. “Well my dear, it seems I have access to your Sanctuary, now.” He drew a blade from his waistband. What before appeared as a grin across his face was now a menacing snarl. “Both worlds are _mine_ to rule. It’s my birthright as king of Azgeda and my destiny as the rightful _Heda._ ”

Clarke’s blood ran cold. Her loved ones were safe inside the Sanctuary, and each soul stored within the servers humming against the wall was vulnerable as long as Tiberius had access. A cold sweat broke against her brow as she imagined the havoc he could wreak on their Sanctuary if given the chance. His nearness to the servers alone made her skin crawl with unease and dread. But now that he could actually enter into the Sanctuary, have access to those she was bound to protect, what could she do? _What now?_

She glanced over to Lexa, who held her usual calm, stoic posture of the commander. Lexa tilted her chin, considered him for a moment, and then shook her head. “You are a naive fool, Tiberius.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Am I, now? I’ve come quite far for being such a fool; staged a war, usurped my brother, annihilated Skaikru, found my way to your Sanctuary. I’d think I’m instead rather clever.”

“Access does not mean _authority_. Even if you wanted to assume control over the Sanctuary, you lack the ability.”

Tiberius’ grin darkened. “Is that so? Sounds like a challenge, more like. And I like challenges. I should’ve lacked the ability to get to where I am now; the Azgeda throne, the Steward of the Coalition, defeating Skaikru… but _here we are_.”

“The Sanctuary isn’t yours to rule,” Clarke snapped.

“A pretty hypocritical thing to say when Lexa claims authority over it,” Tiberius bit back with a snarl. “What gives her the right that would be denied to me?”

Lexa’s cheeks flushed crimson in anger. “My role is to protect the Sanctuary, not rule it. It belongs to our people, not to tyrants like you.”

“People are idiots, Lexa,” Tiberius laughed. “Given a chance, the only thing they will accomplish is destroying themselves. They need a strong leader who will guide them from that path- they need _me_.”

“You would only lead them to ruin. And the Sanctuary isn’t like this world; control cannot be wielded by brute strength alone. Only the commander can manipulate and control the Sanctuary, and without having merged with the flame program, you are nothing -!”

She sprang forward and jabbed the tip of her blade at his chest. He deflected the blow with his knife and stepped aside, swinging his fist around towards her chin. She turned and caught the forceful blow in the palm of her hand before jerking his wrist into an agonizing twist. Tiberius hollered and dropped to one knee, attempting to turn his body against the strained rotation in his wrist and elbow.

“- there is only _one_ commander.”

She released his knuckles and slammed the palm of her hand against his forehead. Everyone within the cellar froze as the room darkened and grew silent. Clarke braced against the sudden tremble of the floor and closed her eyes against a blinding flash of light. She then felt a cold breeze against her cheek and the rumble of thunder quake through her bones.

Clarke opened her eyes and found she was standing beside Lexa in a mossy forest, surrounded on all sides by towering pines. Tiberius lay on his back a distance away, gazing curiously around him. She lifted her gaze through the canopy and saw a swirl of storm clouds, a streak of lighting ripped across the darkened sky. The scent of wet earth filled her as she took a in a breath: _they were in the Sanctuary_. _Lexa had pulled them, forced Tiberius into the Sanctuary._

“Lexa, what are you doing?” Clarke’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Why did you bring us here?”

“No one can be two places at once,” Lexa explained. Her voice was calm and level, her attention never breaking from Tiberius. “We may be able to sense our bodies as long as that mental link remains, but we are forced to be present in only one world. Luckily there are two of us and only one of him. We have the advantage.”

“Well that was rude,” Tiberius barked, standing from the damp ground. He brushed pine needles from his arms and looked down at his empty hands, grimacing at the realization that his knife was gone. “Well, I see you’re too chicken shit to make it a fair fight.”

“He’s stronger and faster than me. I can’t kill him one on one back in the cellar, but I can as long as you keep his mind trapped here,” Clarke whispered, a hint of a smirk turning the corner of her lips. Considering how many of her loved ones had died, whether directly or indirectly, by Tiberius’ actions, her eager hand would not hesitate when she dragged a knife across his throat. “Think you can erase his data from here while I take care of it?”

“I am powerful here, Clarke, so indeed I can. But the link between his mind and body must be severed first, or else he will only return to the cellar,” her voice quieted. “However, regardless of my strength here, I cannot entirely prevent him from returning. I can distract and hold him, but he is strong-willed. You must be prepared to defend yourself if he escapes me.”

Clarke glanced at Lexa and saw the masked concern in her emerald eyes, the consternation set in her clenched jaw. She wanted to ask why Lexa couldn’t just kill Tiberius herself in the cellar, but she knew the answer before the words left her lips: _it was too risky_. There was a chance that Tiberius could win in a hand-to-hand fight with Lexa, and would turn on Clarke next. Not only, then, could she not return to Polis before the radiation took its toll, but the physical safety of the servers would vulnerable to his whim. If Lexa had the authority to expel him each time he tried to enter the Sanctuary, what would stop him from destroying the servers out of sheer spite; one final blow to his enemies by destroying their last hope in a future. The physical safety of the servers was as stake, and Clarke needed to get out of the cellar alive if they wanted to save those seeking shelter from the radiation within Polis’ walls. Their safest option was to keep Tiberius inside the Sanctuary for as long as they could, to prevent him from returning to his body.

Clarke reached and slipped her fingers between Lexa’s. She caressed the side of her wrist with her thumb and gave a short, reassuring squeeze. She parted her lips to speak, but faltered and remained silent. What was there for Clarke to say that Lexa didn’t already know? They had spoken those words to one another, had already poured themselves wholly into the other. Words weren’t necessary, not at that moment. Should their lives end, they would know what was in the other’s heart; should they live on, they would utter those words again.

_I love you_.

Lexa did not turn to look at Clarke, she said nothing. Her face remained stoic and hardened as Clarke had remembered from the day they first met. Lexa responded only with a momentary, tight hand squeeze before releasing her grasp. It was a simple gesture, one of a warrior readying themselves for battle that Clarke understood: _we’ll be alright._

An unseen force pulled Clarke away from the darkened forest, dragged her back across the barrier between that world and her physical body. A flash of light clouded her consciousness before she came to. Her body had collapsed onto the cellar floor. She gasped for breath, opened her eyes, and sat up from the cold tile; both Lexa and Tiberius were lying unconscious across the room.

_Kill him, Clarke!_ She jerked forward and scrambled on her hands and knees towards Lexa’s blade.  


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update, guys. It's been a really bad summer for me. But I hope you enjoy the update, I know it isn't as long as my normal chapters, but I will write more very shortly. Thanks for your patience and I love you all XOXO (and no worries, there is a happy ending to this all, so stay with me lol)

Storm clouds churned in a fury, lightning streaked across the darkened sky, a clap of thunder rattled the trees and trembled the earth beneath their feet. Lexa remained steady as she stepped towards Tiberius, each footfall landing in soft green moss and pine needles.

“I wish you’d just accepted my offer, Lexa. We could’ve ruled over them all, in both worlds as is our destiny as nightbloods. But, since you’ve chosen your side, I’m going to _really_ enjoy killing you.” Tiberius sneered at her, his fists clenched tight at his sides. “And when I’m done with you, I’m going after your skaikru whore.” He chuckled and grinned, taking a moment to close his eyes to better savor the scenes his lucid imagination brought. “And oh, I am going to make her _suffer_. If only to spite you. She’ll beg for death when I’m through with her.”

He opened his eyes to observe Lexa, to see the reaction his taunts had incited. His grin faded when he saw that she merely watched him, expressionless and cold. His words had no effect on her. “You’re too arrogant, Tiberius. It makes you weak.”

“ _I’m_ weak?” Tiberius scoffed. “A weak leader wouldn’t have put the wellbeing of her own people before some silly fucking fling. A weak leader wouldn’t have shown mercy to a people who has shown nothing but contempt and hatred for her own. A weak leader wouldn’t have broken generations of tradition of ‘blood must have blood’ just to get a woman into her bed. _You’re_ weak, Lexa! Pathetic!”

He lunged forward at her, his fist drawn back to strike. Lexa extended her hand and a strong gust of wind whirled past her and knocked him back. He faltered and stumbled clumsily over his feet, knocked off-balance and bracing against the frigid gale.

“Think you can scare me with your cheap tricks?!” He shouted over the roar of thunder and wind.

“ _I am the commander, descended from a line spanning hundreds of years of death, blood, and suffering.”_ She spoke in trigedasleng, her amplified voice carried over the cacophony of the raging storm. _“I created the Sanctuary to end that cycle of misery, and I won’t allow you to stand in the way of that_!”

A blinding flash of lightning struck a nearby tree and with a deafening crack, splitting the trunk down the center. The splintered fragments descended towards where Tiberius stood, and he leapt out of the way before it crashed to the mossy earth. The force knocked him forward to the ground, where he rolled away and scrambled to his feet.

“Fight me like a warrior, you coward! Fight me!” Tiberius made a motion to rush at her but stopped when the soil beneath him parted and swallowed his feet and ankles, trapping him where he stood. He reached down to break apart the confines, scratching desperately at the hardened earth around his legs, when vines dropped from the ceiling canopy and ensnared his wrists, lurching him back up again. He writhed and struggled against his bindings, growling with each tug and jerk.

“ _How?_ ” he snarled through grit teeth, the muscles in his arms bulged with each strain against the vines. “How is this possible?”

“ _I am the architect of this world, everything created through my programming bends to my will. I molded this world so our people could finally have the peace they deserved, and you are a fool to think I’d allow your filth to exist among us. You are powerless here.”_

“Kill me here and I will still be waiting for you in the cellar. I’ll just take the chip again, you can’t keep-” He froze, eyes widened. The color drained from his face. “You sent her back… to the cellar…”

“ _It’s over, Tiberius. She will kill your body, and I will kill your mind. You’ve failed.”_

Tiberius’ brow furrowed, his furious gaze narrowing on Lexa. “You underestimate me, Lexa. You may have control over this world, but you still don’t have complete control of my mind!”

 

\---

 

Clarke braced her knee hard against Tiberius’ chest and leaned forward to hold Lexa’s blade to his exposed throat. She stared at his expressionless face, and imagined the Azgeda ambush against her mother’s convoy. She closed her eyes and saw her mother’s pale, sweat-slick face looking up at her from the hospital bed. Her pulse quickened, face flushed hot, her hand trembled when she remembered the ambush on her own convoy to the mansion, of the arrow piercing Kane’s chest. She recalled the last flash of fear in Raven’s eyes before she fell. So many had been lost, so many had suffered because of Tiberius.

“You bastard…” Clarke’s voice tremored and caught in her throat. “You fucking bastard!” Her arm jerked, the knife’s edge pressed harder against the flesh of his neck.

Tiberius’ eyes opened as Clarke began to draw the blade across his skin. He grabbed her by the wrist and pushed the weapon away, wincing at the bleeding gash she’d opened across his throat. He reached with his other fist to strike her against the jaw, toppling her to the floor.

Clarke lay writhing, cradling her jaw with her palm and blinked away the blanket of stars blinding her vision. She gasped for air through the pain surging through her skull and felt Tiberius rise to his feet beside her.

“Stupid girl,” Tiberius pressed his hand against the bleeding throat wound. He winced at the sting of it and drew back his hand to peer down at the slick black wetness coating his fingers. He sneered. “You two think you can defeat me that easily?!”

He swung back his leg and unleashed a swift kick into Clarke’s gut before stumbling back, unsteady on his feet. She cried out and curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her head and stomach to protect herself from the onslaught. Tiberius kicked her again in the gut, and another near her face. He pressed his hand against the seeping wound, blinking away the dizziness beginning to consume his vision. Blood trickled down Clarke’s nose onto the tile beneath her.

Lexa opened her eyes and sat up from the floor, her gaze darting frantically around the room until they came to fall on Clarke, curled up on the floor with her nose bleeding. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw Tiberius standing over her, her knife clutched tight in his hand. Tiberius shifted and raised the knife above him.

“Clarke!” She scrambled to her feet and lunged at him.

Clarke strained to open her eyes at hearing Lexa’s voice. There had been a struggle, she’d felt it in the tremor of the floor beneath her when they moved against one another. The sound of her own breathing and beating heart filled her ears, and the world, and time, slowed around her. Her vision was still blurred, she blinked through the fog of throbbing pain and confusion until the two figures above her came into focus.

The two warriors were locked in each other’s grasp, tangled in their struggle against the other. Yet despite Tiberius’ best efforts, Lexa had managed to press her palm against his forehead to send them both back to the Sanctuary. Droplets of black blood trickling to the white tile drew Clarke’s attention, and that was when she saw it:  the knife. Tiberius’ limp fingers slipped away from the hilt of the knife, now embedded deep in Lexa’s side, as the two collapsed unconscious to the floor.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! Only one more chapter after this and the story will be complete :) I know we're all looking forward to the happy ending...

Lexa stumbled to one knee, clutching the side of her rib, teeth grit and eyes shut tight. She felt the pain, the sting of the blade piercing her skin, yet when she drew back her fingers they were untarnished. She wasn’t bleeding, not in the Sanctuary at least. Regardless, she was weaker now that her physical body was injured. When she opened her eyes and lifted her gaze across the mossy forest floor, she watched Tiberius rise to his feet with a wide grin stretching across his face. The storm continued to churn and spit lightning above them, a roll of thunder ripped through the air.

“Tsk tsk, _Heda_! Marvelous performance!” he laughed and took a step towards her, clapping his thick hands together in a slow applause. “I’ve never known you to be so clumsy with a blade! _Pathetic_ , just like your woman.”

It hadn’t mattered what happened to her body, not since she first emerged from the regeneration pod. She would gladly sacrifice her body, and already had done so against Tiberius’ army in Arkadia, if it meant achieving victory. It was one of the earliest lessons she learned as the commander: _victory stands on the back of sacrifice_. Her bodily safety meant nothing, not as long as it meant she could buy some time. Just enough time to finish it... her thoughts turned to Clarke back in the server room.

Lexa’s lip curled into a snarl. “I’m going to enjoy killing you.”

“Not as much as I’m going to enjoy killing your Wanheda,” Tiberius sneered and turned his gaze upward. His body soon began to fade, to grow transparent against the line of trees behind him as he slipped further from the Sanctuary towards the server room.

***

“Lexa, no!” Clarke scrambled to Lexa’s side, her blood ran cold in her veins, her heart drummed loud in her ears. Her finger trembled as they reached to take hold of the knife’s hilt, now slick with warm, black blood. With a single breath, Clarke yanked the knife from Lexa’s side and pressed her palm against the open, seeping wound.

When her eyes caught sight of Tiberius lying conscious and limp at Lexa’s side, Clarke’s chest swelled with a hot, furious rage. She envisioned all those she’d lost from the medical convoy ambush, of their own ambush when trying to flee from Arkadia, of Raven falling…

Her heart ached, but not from loss or sorrow, but of hatred; of unbridled wrath that consumed her. She didn’t care if many of her loved ones were waiting for her in the Sanctuary, she didn’t care that their suffering, at least for now, had ceased as long as the servers remained safe. What propelled Clarke forward now, the knife clutched tight in one hand towards Tiberius’ body, was the thought that so many had suffered at his hand, had harmed those she loved the most.

Tiberius shifted beneath her and opened his eyes.

Clarke shouted and felt the burning ire in her chest boil over as she plunged the knife’s edge deep into his neck. She jerked the knife’s hilt and sliced up his throat, rupturing his jugular in one quick motion. “Go float yourself, you bastard!”

***

Tiberius collapsed onto the soft moss at his feet, screaming and clasping a hand desperately over his throat. On hands and knees, he rocked back and forth, his eyes shut tight against the searing pain splintering from his neck. When he opened his eyes and turned his gaze to her, Lexa distinctly saw fear begin to grip him.

Lexa grinned. “What’s wrong? Back so soon?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Tiberius spat and rose to his feet again. He peered at his palm as if expecting to see it drenched in black blood. His hands held a slight tremor. “I am still in the Sanctuary, and you’re injured, _weak_.”

Lexa stood tall and narrowed her gaze on him. When she snapped her fingers, thick roots emerged from the moss like shooting spears, curling around his ankles, legs, and hips to hold him in place. Nearby tree branches jutted out to capture him by the wrists, twisting lengths of ivy up his elbow to the shoulder to pull his arms out to the side, immobilizing him entirely. She took slow, steady steps towards him.

“You underestimate me, Tiberius. It’s a shame, you would’ve benefited from the education your fellow _natblidas_ received. If you had, you would’ve learned that the first lesson every _Heda_ must learn is to never underestimate their enemy,” Lexa approached him as he writhed against his constraints. Her voice grew steady and louder against the gusting wind. Lightning tore through the sky above them. “Perhaps you would’ve been in my conclave; I could’ve killed you sooner and saved us this trouble.”

Tiberius twisted against the vines cutting deep into his skin, shouting with every jerk and motion. “Fight me like a warrior, you coward!”

Lexa grabbed Tiberius by the neck, her fingertips pressed hard against his flesh. Her rage-filled eyes locked with his, her lips curled into a snarl. “You remember, don’t you? When I told you this would end with my hands around your throat, watching the life leave your eyes?”

Tiberius’ eyes widened, he choked. “Wait! S-Stop-!”

A bolt of lightning leapt from the churning clouds above, careening down above them. The streak of lightning struck his scalp, a spark of light exploded, and in the cover of blinding white light, Tiberius’ terrified screams faded to nothing.

***

It had only been a matter of seconds after slashing Tiberius’ throat that Clarke still stared at him. His empty eyes remained open, staring up towards the ceiling. His torn throat was slick with his black blood, which now pooled beneath his scalp on the tile floor. She felt her pulse beat thick in her veins, and when her gaze lingered on his severed jugular, she places her bloodied fingertips onto her own neck to feel the rhythmic drumming. The action seemed to ground her, to remind her that she was still breathing, still _alive_.

She had just closed her eyes and taken a deep breath when she heard Lexa shift behind her. Clarke spun back and watched Lexa sit up from the tile and offer a weak, tired smile.

“Are you alright, Clarke?”

“Am _I_ alright?” Clarke moved away from Tiberius’ body and knelt beside Lexa. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve…” she pressed her palm against Lexa’s wound again to hold back the slowing bleeding, felt her wince at her touch. “… I should’ve been faster. I could’ve stopped… _this_.”

Clarke was babbling now, apologizing and distraught, shredding a section of her shirt off with trembling fingers to bandage the wound. But Lexa merely watched her with a softening, calm gaze and growing smile.

“Clarke, I’m alright,” Lexa whispered, reaching out to cradle her face against the palm of her hand. “Look at me.”

When Clarke met Lexa’s gaze, her eyes were brimming with tears. Everything within the past few days seemed to flood her mind with images of suffering, pain, and death. Killing Tiberius had helped assuage her anger, but it hadn’t lifted the weight of it all from her heart that now felt as though it were about to burst. Tiberius was dead and they had won; the servers, and all of their lost loved ones were finally safe. But Clarke was not alright, not after all that she’d seen and lost.

Lexa caressed Clarke’s cheek and leaned forward to press a tender kiss above her eyebrow, then against her lips. When they parted and rested their foreheads together, Lexa could taste Clarke’s tears against her own.

“My wound is not fatal,” Lexa reassured her, sliding her fingers through Clarke’s hair. “You must breathe, calm yourself.”

Clarke could only manage two unsteady, haggard breaths before continuing. “We have to return to Polis to administer the chips. By the look of Tiberius’ soldiers and how ragged they looked, I’d say the radiation has already arrived.” Clarke pulled away from Lexa and met her gaze again. “Are you well enough to join me?”

Lexa let out a light chuckle, winced against a throb of pain in her side, and made to stand on her feet. “Remind me once we’re finished with our mission to regale you with tales of war where I’ve had to tolerate much more gruesome undertakings.”

***

The first thing that struck Clarke when they emerged from the mansion was the heavy silence. The fighting had ceased, and bodies now laid strewn across the lush green grass, staining the earth red. Clarke turned her gaze away when her eyes caught the sight of Raven’s body, still laying across the way surrounded by fallen grounder warriors.

“They aren’t here…” Lexa reminded her when she saw the look in Clarke’s eyes. “They’re waiting for us in the Sanctuary. We’ll be with them again soon.”

The two made their way down towards the dock, nearer to where the small boat floated, tied to the narrow wooden dock. Clarke thought of the horse she’d left on the other shore and desperately hoped it hadn’t wandered off or been taken. Otherwise, their journey to Polis on foot would not only be too arduous, but their slow pace would doom all who were already suffering from radiation poisoning within its walls.

The closer they reached the dock, the more bodies of grounder warriors lay at their feet, riddled with bullets. The moment Clarke stepped foot on the rocky beach, she heard a muted voice in the distance near a cluster of thick brush. Clarke hesitated and felt her heart sink before turning to run towards the sound, fearing for those she hadn’t seen since the night before when they stood guard together: Octavia and Bellamy.

She found Octavia propped against a large boulder flanked on either side by fallen logs. She’d tied a strip of cloth across her face, soaked through with crimson where she’d been wounded, from what looked to have been a blade cutting a deep gash across her cheek. One arrow pierced her chest, another had caught her in the gut. With one hand she gripped her sword, and with the other she placed upon Bellamy’s head that lay in her lap. He lay on the ground beside her, his skin was pale from blood loss:  an arrow had met with his thigh, hitting his femoral artery; he was gone.

Clarke fell to her knees at Octavia’s feet and clasped her hands over her lips. Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Oh god, Octavia…”

Octavia’s movements were slow, each motion drew a wince or sharp breath through her teeth. “What, does it look bad?” She coughed and blood stained her bottom lip. “Took you guys long enough…”

Lexa emerged from behind Clarke and knelt beside Octavia. Her stern eyes trailed along her wounds, then down to Bellamy. “Your fight was a hard one.”

“And worth it,” Octavia motioned with her head towards a massive pile of stacked branches and leaves beside her. When Clarke approached and brushed the foliage aside, she discovered the duffle bags of Sanctuary chips hidden beneath. “Bell got injured early on, couldn’t move worth a damn. Raven took it upon herself to draw their warriors away, hoping we’d stay hidden enough until it was over. It worked, sorta…”

Lexa smiled, proud. “Indra chose well when she made you her second.”

Octavia strained to smile and turned her head away to brush away a tear. “Is it done, then?”

“Yes, Tiberius is dead, the servers are safe,” Clarke said. “Now we just need to take these to Polis and finish the job.”

“Well, better get to it, then,” Octavia’s voice was growing tired, tense against her dry throat.

Clarke’s gaze lingered on Bellamy, his body limp against the cold rocky ground. She then turned her attention to Octavia. “Will you stay here?”

Octavia’s smile wavered, her gaze dropped to Bellamy’s head resting on her lap. He looked almost as though he here asleep. “I’d only slow you two down… not even sure if I’d make it.” She lifted her gaze to meet Lexa’s. “Besides, a warrior doesn’t leave her guard over a few cuts and bruises. What would Indra say if she knew I’d left my post?”

Clarke bent down to rest her hand over Octavia’s, offered her a reassuring squeeze, and turned to retrieve the duffle bags from beneath the thick brush.

“Thank you,” Lexa said. “Polis would’ve been lost if you hadn’t protected these.”

“Just get it done, both of you. Get your asses to Polis and finish this already.”

Clarke hoisted the bags onto her shoulders and turned back one last time. “I owe you a stiff drink on the other side.”

Octavia closed her eyes and leaned her head back to rest against the boulder. “You sure as hell do. Now get the hell out of here.”

The two left Octavia in silence. Making their way towards the boat, Clarke felt the sting of more tears in her eyes; she knew Octavia wouldn’t make it to nightfall, not with those wounds. But she wiped the tears from her eyes and remembered what Lexa had told her after they’d left the mansion: _They’re waiting for us in the Sanctuary. We’ll be with them again soon._


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter! Thank you all for sticking with this story, I love all you guys.

[One Week Later]

Clarke closed her eyes and breathed slow and steady against nausea churning in her gut. She laid atop Lexa's old bed high in the Polis tower, shifting uncomfortably against the soft fur blanket beneath her. She heard footsteps approach, slow and measured, and felt the weight of their gaze upon her.

"L-Lexa," she said, taking a moment to swallow down the sudden urge to vomit. Her skin ached, it hurt now even to breathe. "Could you do it? Distribute the last of them?"

"Yes, it is done. Be still, now."

Lexa took a seat beside Clarke on the bed and cradled her flushed cheek with her hand. Clarke's hair stuck to her slick forehead and cheeks from her feverish sweat, and Lexa now saw what she believed to be the beginnings of skin legions rising beneath her skin. She frowned, knowing that the nightblood in her veins protected her from the radiation poisoning that Clarke now suffered.

Many of their people had already suffered that agony by the time they'd reached Polis; the radiation had already swept through the city and claimed dozens of lives. Clarke, because of her prolonged radiation exposure in space, was lucky to have had some additional resistance for the first few days. They'd split up, rushed door to door all day and night, never stopping to rest or sleep, until each resident had either taken the chip or refused their offer. Many who turned them away had already lost their loved ones; no one waited for them on the other side. Clarke had tried to persuade them, to explain that they could have a second chance inside the Sanctuary. That, despite what they had suffered, they could help build a better future for their people; but in the end, they refused.

It wasn't until the evening of the fourth day that the radiation took hold of Clarke, and she found herself struggling to walk. She’d grown faint and dizzy with each step, nauseous and feverish. When Lexa finally found her that next morning, Clarke was too ill to walk on her own, and had to continue her task of meeting residents using an old crutch to support herself. Her skin had paled and she'd sweat through her shirt entirely. Lexa had insisted that Clarke return to Polis tower to rest, but Clarke refused. It wasn't until nearly each resident had been visited, and each chip distributed, that Clarke collapsed to the ground, too exhausted to even stand.

"How many-" Clarke took a breath, wheezing. "-did we save?"

Lexa slid a damp lock of hair from Clarke's brow. "Nearly 20,000, between the two of us." Lexa strained to smile and offered a playful wink. "But I must insist that my numbers far exceeds yours."

"Oh, shut up. Only because you're immune," Clarke tried to laugh but broke into a coughing fit. Once she was finished, she opened her eyes, now bloodshot and tired, and gazed up at Lexa. "You always were a bit of a showoff."

"I'm assuming you're referring to my duel with Roan?" Lexa smiled and reached back to draw a thin blanket over Clarke's shoulders. She met Clarke's knowing gaze. "I couldn't help myself, knowing you were watching me from the crowd. I wanted to impress you."

"Well, it worked," Clarke began to laugh, but was then taken by a sudden coughing fit. She tasted blood rise from her throat, hot and bitter against her tongue. When she regained her composure, steadied her breath, and lifted her gaze; she found Lexa staring at her, her eyes heavy with worry.

Clarke closed her eyes. "Don't look at me like that. You and I both knew this would be how it ended. Before settling in the Sanctuary, that is..."

"Yes, but I hate to see you suffer so needlessly." Lexa said.

Clarke took a haggard breath, swallowed the bile rising up her chest. "Well, what do you suggest? I can't exactly-" Clarke opened her eyes when she felt Lexa slide a small, glass vial between her fingers. The liquid inside was clear, and when she peered through it, she frowned. "Lexa, what is this?"

"This will end your suffering and take you to the Sanctuary. To where our people, our friends, are waiting..." Lexa nearly whispered the words, her eyes lingering on the vial in Clarke's grasp.

Clarke's chest tightened, her heart sank to longer she stared at the vial. She'd known, riding hard into Polis a week before, that her life was forfeit; even if she had chosen to run from the radiation, to not help the people of Polis, it would eventually reach her. Knowing that her loved ones were waiting for her in the Sanctuary had offered her enough comfort to return to Polis, to save as many of their people as she could before succumbing to the effects. But now that she stared at the vial, knowing that her body was breaking down and growing weaker each passing second, the thought of death terrified her. Lexa must've sensed this, as Clarke felt a warm hand reach out to touch her cheek.

"Will it hurt?" Clarke asked through a forced steadiness that made her voice tremble.

Lexa shook her head. "No, there is no pain. You will grow tired and drift to sleep. And when you wake again on the other side, everyone will be waiting there to welcome you." Lexa wiped a fallen tear from Clarke's cheek, offered a reassuring smile. "Your mother, Raven, Octavia... you will see their smiles and forget all this suffering."

"And you?" Clarke asked, holding Lexa's gaze. "Will you stay with me?"

Lexa smiled. "Always, Clarke. I will stay by your side until the end, and then I will follow."

Clarke unfastened the topper on the vial and stared at it one final time before lifting it to her lips. She tipped the vial back, closed her eyes, and let the sweet liquid slide down her dried throat. When she rested her head back onto the damp pillow, Clarke felt Lexa climb beside her on the bed, her arm wrapped around Clarke’s shoulders to pull her in close.

“Will it take long?” Clarke asked, already beginning to fight the heaviness in her eyelids.

“No.”

Clarke smiled and nestled close against Lexa’s chest. She sighed. “Do you remember, the day that you died…” her breath began to slow. “… when you said that maybe someday we’d owe nothing more to our people?” Lexa kissed Clarke’s forehead and rested her cheek against her hair; she nodded. “I think this is it.”

“I believe it is,” Lexa whispered, sensing Clarke grow heavy in her arms, her breathing ceased. “May we meet again, Clarke.”

***

Lexa entered the throne room nearly thirty minutes later, her fingertips still dark with black war paint. Her face was marked, the Heda’s gear ornament pressed against her forehead, and her long coat trailed behind her as she strode towards the throne. She adjusted the red cloak draped beneath her shoulder armor and flexed her hands inside her gloves.

She made to take a seat on the throne, but hesitated. Instead, she turned and exited onto the balcony. She clasped her hands behind her back and gazed out across the expanse, across the Polis cityscape, and frowned. It was silent, deafeningly so. The sun was rising behind the distant forests; its warm rays covered the empty homes, abandoned carts, and lifeless roads of her city. All had perished within the city’s walls, and she was utterly alone.

“Taking one final look?” A woman’s voice broke through the silence. Lexa gave a start and turned to see Becca, dressed in a black blouse and slacks, standing beside her on the balcony. Becca gazed out across the city and smiled. “I remember rocketing down here from the space station, crashing here…” she shook her head and sighed. “… I can still remember it like it were yesterday. But it’s been so long, now.”

“I am surprised to see you here, _Bekka Pramheda_ ,” Lexa said. “I haven’t heard from you, or the other commanders, since rebooting.”

Becca offered Lexa a warm smile. “You’ve not needed our guidance, not like you did during your life. But you were feeling quite alone just now, Lexa. I wanted to let you know that all of us are with you now. We always have been. Especially now, in the end.” She reached out and placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, gave it a squeeze. “And you have done _so well_ , Lexa. We’re all so very proud of you.”

“I was merely fulfilling our duty to our people,” Lexa said, her eyes trailing again across the eerily still cityscape.

“Indeed you have,” Becca sighed and watched the sun continue rise in the distance. “The initial purpose for A.L.I.E. 2, the chip I created and passed down the chain of Commanders, was to save what was left of the human race after A.L.I.E.’s destructive actions. You, _Lexa kom Trikru_ , have finally fulfilled that purpose.”

“And the Heda’s lineage?” Lexa asked.

“It ends with you,” Becca’s voice grew sad behind her waning smile. “The Commander was born in the ashes of my sins, Lexa. Our legacy, our _duty_ , was carrying our people through that turmoil. The next world that is built, free from radiation and poison, will not belong to us, but to our people.”

Lexa turned and strode back into the throne room. She stood beside the throne and touched her fingertips to its smooth wooden branches, twisting high up towards the ceiling. A weak smile curled at the corner of her lips.

“So… it is done, then,” she whispered before seating herself against the throne’s cushion.

She rested her arms along the wooden rests beside her; sat tall, spine erect, and eyes gazing ahead down the long, crimson carpet at the wide-opened double-doors. Lexa wondered how many times she’d welcomed delegates and citizens down that carpet, with her ambassadors seated around the room with her. She recalled the first time she’d taken a seat on the throne after her conclave, the black blood of her opponents still slick against her skin. Her heart ached when she remembered instructing the nightblood children, and how endearing and innocent they’d been. Lexa had first heard of the Skaikru’s descent from space from that throne, she’d remembered Roan bringing Clarke in with a sack draped over her head, and how seeing her again made her blood run cold…  she then remembered Clarke begging for her to not fight Roan, of the worry heavy behind her eyes.

Becca followed from the balcony, watched Lexa for a few quiet moments, and then approached her. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Lexa whispered and withdrew a small clear vial from inside her jacket pocket. Her eyes fell on it, then lifted to meet Becca’s gaze. “Will I ever see you or the previous commanders again?”

“No. You no longer need us. This moment here, between you and I, is goodbye.” Becca’s smile waned further. “But we shall always be with you, _Lexa kom Trikru_.”

Lexa smiled at Becca and unfastened the top of the vial. “ _Ai laik Heda_ ,” She lifted it to her lips and let it slip down her throat. She savored the warm sweetness, took a breath, and leaned back against the throne. She stared ahead, her head tall. Her gaze grew heavy, her eyelids drooped. “ _I gonplei ste odon_.”

Becca rested her hand on Lexa’s wrist and smiled. “ _Ste yuj_.”

Lexa opened her eyes to find herself lying in a bed with thick fur blankets covering up past her eyes. She sat up and braced against the bright morning rays shining through the small window across the bedroom. Birds chirped and flew about in the forest outside, and a cool autumn breeze drifted in and chilled her bare skin.

She eyed a robe hanging from a nearby hook and slid out from beneath the covers, padding quickly across the hardwood floor to wrap around her shoulders.

“Clarke?” she exited the bedroom and stepped out into a cozy cabin living room. A small fire cracked in the far corner, and the inviting scent of cooked meat wafted towards her from the kitchen. She took a deep breath, savoring the scent of smoke and food.

“It took you long enough,” Clarke stepped out from the kitchen, wiping her damp hands against a rag. Her eyes brightened when she gazed at Lexa from across the room, her smile widened. “Welcome home.”

Tears brimmed in Lexa’s eyes as she walked across the room, took Clarke into her arms, and kissed her.

***

“Aw come on, don’t let him beat you!” Emori laughed as Murphy chugged a large mug of liquor. Bellamy drank down a mug of his own beside him, Octavia laughed and clapped her hands at the sight of them both.

Bellamy slammed the mug down against the wood table and lifted his hands into the air, victorious. “That’s right! Whoo!”

Murphy finished a few seconds later and swatted at Bellamy’s mug, knocking it to the ground. He burped. “Yeah, whatever. You’re still a jackass.”

“A bit of a sore loser, huh?” Emori asked, poking Murphy’s side playfully.

“It’s all about the _long_ game,” Murphy explained as he draped his arm across Emori’s shoulder. “It’s about whose left standing by the end of the night, not who can drink the fastest. All this? This is _strategy_.”

The bonfire roared nearby as a group of men tossed a few logs onto the flames. The night’s sky lit up against the warmth of the blaze, dancing with the cool, steady breeze. Crowds of people gathered around the fire, laughing, drinking, and joking as a group of musicians played on from across the field. Clarke and Raven approached the group, each carrying an armful of drinks.

“Took you guys long enough,” Octavia took a mug from Clarke, who rolled her eyes.

“It would’ve come sooner if you’d helped,” Raven said as she handed the drinks out.

Octavia shook her head. “Nope, princess here owes me drinks. No way in hell I’m movin’ from this spot.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Clarke smiled at Octavia and lifted a mug to her before bringing it to her lips.

“So what do you guys think of your assignments?” Raven reclined against the table and crossed her legs. “Mine’s pretty sweet- I’m training grounders on mechanics and explosives. Fuckin’ sweet!”

“Sounds fitting,” Bellamy sat beside Raven and shot a wink at her. “Way better than mine, at least. They got me on the hunting and tanning teams. They’re starting me out on how to make my own bow and arrow, though. It’s sort of a pain in the ass.”

“Yours is a pain in the ass? I’m a goddamn _carpenter_ ,” Murphy took another mug from Clarke when it was offered.

“Hey, at least you aren’t diggin’ ditches anymore. And you’re able to work with your hands,” Emori said as she tucked a lock of Murphy’s hair behind his ear. He smiled at her and turned to press a kiss against her cheek.

“What about you, Emori?” Raven asked. “What do they have you doin?”

“Supply and logistics,” Emori responded with a smile. “Guess all those years scavenging and trading finally paid off.”

“That sounds kinda boring,” Raven joked after taking a sip from her drink. “Not like our Octavia over here, a goddamn _sergeant_! You’re scary, girl.”

Octavia grinned and offered a shrug. “Yeah, I’m definitely not complaining. Spending all day with Indra, training warriors and conducting battle drills. I love it.”

Clarke laughed and pulled out a coin from her jacket pocket, flipping it lazily between her fingers. “Yeah, and then I have to deal with her warriors after she breaks them.”

“Oh, right!” Raven sat up and slapped Clarke’s knee. “How’s that clinic you set up with Abby?”

“It’s great. Mom is starting medical training for select grounders next week. It feels good to fall back into a normal routine,” Clarke smiled and turned her gaze towards the cluster of people across the field. Abby, Kane, Indra, and Lexa sat around a table, drinks in hand, discussing amongst themselves.

“And what about your girl?” Bellamy asked. “What’s she gonna do now that she’s not the commander anymore?”

Clarke shrugged. “She wants to be a teacher. Figures that she has all that knowledge passed down from the previous commanders, it’d be a waste to let it go. Indra and Kane asked her to stay on as an advisor, though, and to help train the warriors on warfare and strategy.”

“A _teacher_?” Murphy asked, turning his attention then to Lexa across the field. He squinted to look at her, then shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t see it. Then again, she wouldn’t be the first scary teacher I’ve had.”

Clarke turned and bounced the coin in her hand against the table, flipping it up onto Murphy’s mug. She snapped her fingers and pointed at him. “ _Chug_.”

The group laughed and clapped their hands as Murphy lifted the mug to his lips. Emori whooped as he brought the mug away with the coin clenched between his teeth. When Clarke looked back across the field, she found Lexa walking towards them. The music had grown louder as more musicians joined in, and a few revelers had begun dancing around the bonfire.

Clarke rose to her feet when Lexa approach, smiling. “Hey, meeting over already?”

“No, but they don’t necessarily need me. Nothing too important that can’t wait until tomorrow, at least.” Lexa responded with a smile of her own and reached a hand out to Clarke. “Would you honor me with a dance?”

“OOoooo,” Raven cupped her palm to her mouth and giggled when Octavia elbowed her in the ribs.

“I’d love to,” Clarke took Lexa’s hand and turned to glare at Raven. “And I don’t see that leg of yours holding _you_ back from dancing anymore.”

“Well, shit, you’re right.” Raven sighed and drank down the rest of her liquor. She stood and turned towards the group. Bellamy stood with a grin, ready to accept her invitation, but froze when he discovered Raven extended a hand to Octavia. “Come on, get on up and let’s do this.”

Bellamy watched, stunned, as Octavia rose from the bench to take Raven’s hand. “Ah… yeah, sure.”

Murphy felt Emori poke him in the ribs again, and he let out a groan. “Would I be a dick if I didn’t ask you to dance?”

Emori nodded. “Yes.”

“Great, alright,” Murphy stood and helped Emori to her feet. “Let’s get this over with.”

The group left Bellamy by the table to join the dancers near the bonfire. He plopped down onto the bench and began pulling each abandoned mug closer to him. “That’s fine. I’ll just take these, then. Drink by myself and all.”

Clarke slid her fingers into Lexa’s hand as they strode across the grass. “Tonight’s been amazing. This celebration is just what we needed to help move on from what happened. It’s perfect.”

Lexa brought Clarke’s hand to her smiling lips and kissed her knuckles. “I agree.” Clarke stopped walking then, her gaze trailing across the field to her friends laughing and dancing to the music. Lexa halted by her side and watched her for a moment. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” Clarke lifted her eyes to stare at the night’s sky, at the stars puncturing the darkness. “I haven’t felt this happy, ever. I’m just not used to it. It just feels so fragile, ya know?”

“I understand how you feel, Clarke. All we can do is enjoy life now, day by day, and prepare for when we return.” Lexa said. She wrapped her arm around Clarke’s waist and pulled her closer. “Now, can I please dance with you?”

Clarke laughed and reached to press a kiss against Lexa’s cheek. “Yeah, okay. But you’ve gotta lead, I don’t know how you grounders dance.”

***

The morning sun rose over the forested island. The old mansion, nestled deep within the now tall and lush cluster of trees, sat with its collapsed roof and buckled walls. The structure sat weathered and decay after dozens of decades of standing undisturbed. The white paint on the walls had nearly peeled away completely, leaving the mansion a ghost of its former self.

Deep beneath the collapsed roof, secure behind a locked steel door, the server room remained intact. The ceiling lights above flickered to life. A thick layer of dust coated the towers lining the wall, each emitted a low, steady hum.

Through the doors to the organic pod room, a red light began to blink on a closed capsule. The light switched the green, and the capsule whirled to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for reading my story! This project of mine has been a way for me to cope with what I felt was a terrible turn in the show, and I hope you've enjoyed where I took it. :) The story ends with a second chance for everyone, returning to the earth after the radiation has cleared. Because we deserved a happy ending, damnit.


End file.
